The Hunger Games
by Just-A-Gurl13
Summary: Katniss gets herself signed up for something she would never do, but she'd do anything for Prim. Welcome to The Hunger Games.


AN: I do not own The Hunger Games nor The Selection. Also, there are some OOC-ness to the characters. Further AN at the end.

Prologue

 _Panem. A great country. Panem contains twelve districts, each district having a specialty good to be exported to the Capitol, where the royal family resides. Panem was not always a peaceful place and out of the war, chaos, destruction, and disease came a humble baker to lead the Panem to peace. The royal line seemed to have trouble producing male heirs, and therefore, the first born male was to succeed the previous ruler. In order to find a suitable bride, and let the other districts contribute further to Panem, The Hunger Games were arranged. The Hunger Games took two girls from each district and the Capitol and the Prince would date them to find his bride. It was rare the girls would ever return to their home districts after being part of The Hunger Games, due to many Capitol citizens wanting to buy their time, and those of the prominent districts, as well._

 _About twenty five years ago, Panem was called into question. Prince Avery Mellark was about to embark on his own Hunger Games, hoping to please an overbearing father, King Wheaton Mellark. King Mellark wanted to control every citizen of the Capitol and sweet Prince Avery, wanting nothing but approval sent away tributes that he'd actually liked for tributes his father deemed worthy. That was how Prince Avery ended up marrying Meredith Meads. Meredith was from a poorer district, determined to climb the ladder and not look back. Her cunning attitude instantly won her the favor of the king._

 _Within the year of their marriage, King Wheaton took ill and died within a fortnight. Prince Avery, a lovable only child, succeeded his father to the throne. He left most of his father's advisors in their positions. Cornelius Snow held incredible power and grew close to Meredith. The pregnancy of Meredith to the first born of Avery Mellark was announced publicly, while rumors of uprisings were whispered in the streets._

 _Meredith Mellark gave birth to a boy, Gram Mellark. He grew to be a very solemn and practical boy, ever the peace marker between the two younger siblings he had. Gram was always fair and listened to both sides before passing judgment, even at the age of ten. When Gram was five years old, the announcement of another royal on the way was released into the streets. While in the poorest of the districts, things only got tougher, and talk continued._

 _Meredith Mellark gave birth to yet another boy. Ryean, or Rye Mellark was definitely the trouble marker of the siblings. He had a knack of plotting attacks on the unsuspecting maids in the palace, while a sound head on his shoulders in math. Avery Mellark could see that Rye had talents to be used properly. While Rye was still toddling around at the age of two, the announcement of another heir was made, and while the Capitol and Districts one and two held parties to praise Meredith Mellark, more unrest swept through the country._

 _Meredith Mellark gave birth to a boy. When she saw him, she rejected him, wanting a girl instead. Meredith Mellark wanted to secure relationships with countries, and she was presented with yet another boy. Peter, always to be known as Peeta Mellark, had the calmest disposition of his siblings. He had a kind nature, helping the cooks bake for the poorer families in the area. Peeta also had a way with words, from a very small age. If it pleased Peeta, he could charm a snake to kneel before him._

 _Avery Mellark was left with a tough decision. He loved his boys so, he was worried they would fight over the thrown when he was gone. He had to admit, he'd been feeling exhausted and run down beyond his years lately and his thoughts troubled him. He had noticed his wife was upset with her life as well. He decided to do something no other ruler had done before him. He split the thrown three ways. Gram, who was always fair and always proposed excellent bills and laws in his lessons was given reign of just that. Gram would set up a judgmental system that was fair to all, while continuing to propose bills and laws, ensuring they too, were fair for all in Panem. Rye, who had grown well in math, yet still felt the need to devise plans of attack within the palace, was able to do just that. Rye would watch over the finances of Panem while overseeing the Peacekeepers and other military branches. As for Peeta, who was fluent in languages beyond the borders of Panem and could sweet talk a hornet, would continue on that path. Peeta would be the face of the royal family in Panem while continue to make ties with the world outside of Panem._

 _Not all of Avery's advisors liked this plan, Cornelius Snow in particular, hated it. Although, Haymitch Abernathy and Leeland Odair found the idea to be encouraging. Each brother could commit fully to what their strengths were, yet still need to depend on the others. Within the year that the monarchy had been changed, each brother began to further themselves in their respective studies. Within two years, Avery Mellark died. With Gram being only fifteen years old, he was unable to formally take hold of the thrown and Meredith Mellark stepped in as a proxy until all three of her sons would come of age._

 _If only that had worked well for Panem. With Meredith Mellark at the helm, Cornelius Snow had more power than before and the two of them thought alike. Those in the poorest districts were vial, while Districts one through four and the Capitol were the best. Production quotas were raised without pay, infrastructure began to break down, and Panem looked as if it would crumble in on itself. All the work Avery Mellark had done seemed to have fallen away in one foul swoop of Meredith Mellark and Cornelius Snow._

Chapter 1

I was just turning six years old the year Dad got really sick. He always seemed tired and worn out, but he had always told me it was because he was running a country and that I was lucky because I would have my brothers with me to help and be able to lean on. Dad didn't. He was an only child. All alone. Dad would still take me down to the kitchens on the weekends if I had done well with my lessons that week to help him bake. He said because Panem had fallen on such hard times and we were so lucky, we had to give back in addition to baking helped to calm him. Even when he got really sick, I remember he'd still ask me to go bake for him. I always did. I always would. I had few friends in my life at that point. My brothers and an advisors son, Finnick Odair. Everyone was older than me though, so Dad was my best friend. Sure, I'd met heaps of other royals, played with princesses, entertained princes, but it was always baking with Dad that held the most meaning to me.

Then he died.

When he died, I felt things begin to shift in the palace. It felt almost dark and sinister. I saw Mom spending most of her time with an advisor Dad wasn't especially fond of but held respect for, Cornelius Snow. I tended to stay out of Mom's way. If I got into her way, she'd hit me, so I worked hard to please her. She always seemed angry though, even with my excellent reports from my tutors, nothing seemed to make her smile. I think she hated that I looked so much like Dad. The closer we got to Gram's eighteenth birthday, the happier it seemed that Mom got. The week Gram turned eighteen, I learned about The Hunger Games. I was barely nine at the time our home became overrun with girls.

Haymitch had taken to tutoring Rye and I about The Hunger Games with Leeland Odair, his son Finnick joining us, since according to Leeland, Finnick would be protecting us someday. It started long ago, when my great great great, and add some more greats, grandfather, a common baker, led a rebellion towards peace. He had had a son and three daughters. With the daughters, he'd sent them off as treaties and alliances with other more powerful countries across the oceans, while in order to appease those at home, offered his son up to Panem. It was decided that all eligible ladies, who sought the prince, would submit an application. The applications would be split up into thirteen piles, each based on the newly drawn up districts plus the Capitol. Two applications would be picked from each pile. The ladies were to be of the age, sixteen to twenty, able to bare children, and would come to live at the palace in attempt to win the prince's hand. It was decided that it would be a more televised event as well. Caesar Flickerman, was the palace personal reporter and at 8:00pm, every Friday, a report would be issued, with the royals in attendance to update the country.

Rye, who was ten at the time, and Finnick, who was eleven, and I didn't yet see the purpose of such a silly thing. Instead, Rye, Finnick, and I tortured those poor girls, launching surprise attacks on them in the gardens during parties, or at teas. The three of us would always be punished for our behavior but it was worth it to be rolling around laughing. I still recall Rye replacing a tributes baby powder with itching powder. Gram's decided tribute of The Hunger Games was one, Adele Romine, from the Capitol. Mom loved that he picked a girl from the Capitol. Rye and I do find her a bit dull and self-centered, however she isn't all bad. They had a baby boy three years later and named him Bannock.

I was fifteen going on sixteen when Rye had his Hunger Games. Finnick by this point had taken on his role of my personal guard. He was my best friend and knew me better than anyone else in the palace, but I was his job. I was grateful I still had Finnick though. And when the girls descended on the palace, I took to watching Finnick. I swear, that bastard could be a model if he hadn't been born into the world of the Capitol palace. His father had originally been from District 4, a fisherman, and had been elected mayor. My father had met with him a few times and immediately respected Leeland. When his term was up, my father asked him to be a member of his council, moving his wife, and young son to the Capitol. I spent a fair amount of time before Rye's Hunger Games watching he and Finnick sweet talk the daughters of visiting guests. They both said that if I wanted to, I could be just as charming and end up in the same situations as the two of them. I did end up making friends with a few of Rye's tributes. One in particular was the daughter of the mayor of District 12. Her name was Madge Undersee. She was willowy and blonde with perfect pink lips. She, herself, had just turned sixteen that year. Rye had kept her around for some time, even though she said her heart always belonged to someone else and that she'd never wanted to enter in the first place but had done so to appease her father.

That was also the year that Rye had come up with the Draft. Since the death of my father, rebels had been getting more and more prominent and some had managed to make small bands of groups that began attacking the palace. One group, the most bothersome group, was run by a woman named Alma Coin. They tended to descend on the palace a few times a month, never really killing anyone, mostly just bumps and bruises and a mess to clean up. The other group that was common was a group run by Seneca Crane. This group was much more deadly. They tended to hit us every few months and left death and destruction in their wake. Rye came up with a system, one which Mom actually approved of in addition to all of the advisors. Every year, those who were eighteen would be put into a lotto in each district. Twenty five names were to be drawn. Those drafted would be paid a decent amount and would be required to give their lives into service until they were thirty. At that point, they could either continue to serve until retirement, or find a different profession. For the first five years of the draft, those between the age of eighteen and twenty could be drawn from, and it would be fifty names drawn instead of twenty five.

Rye ended up marrying a loud girl from District 7 named Johanna Mason. Mom hated her. The two of them definitely had their fights, leaving Gram, Adele, Rye, myself, and the entire palace staff with headaches for days. The days they fight, I end up in a small art studio I'd created across from my room and what would be the princess suit for my bride until the wedding. If I wasn't there painting, I'd be hiding in the gardens or in the kitchens baking.

Now, this year, I am eighteen. It is my Hunger Games. And I am terrified.

Chapter 2

I grew up poor. I grew up in poverty. But my family and I were happy. District 12 is responsible for producing coal for all of Panem. My parents had a love story that everyone wanted. Or at least I did. District 12 is divided into two parts. Merchant quarter and the Seam. Everyone in our district is poor, however, the Seam is composed of those who do hard labor, such as the miners. Miners tend to struggle to bring home enough. Winter is always hard in the Seam, with the houses not providing adequate heat and even shelter. In the Seam, it's not uncommon for someone to starve to death. The Merchant quarter is filled with those with businesses, such as the bakery, the apothecary, the blacksmith. Even though the Merchants were poor as well, they had running water and had heat. It was a taboo to cross those two lines. Seam folk had dark hair, olive complexions, and various shades of grey eyes. Merchants were blonde haired and blue eyed.

My mother had just turned eighteen. It was the year of late King Avery's Hunger Games. It was against the law to get married during that year, until the tributes had been drawn. So any females, between the ages of sixteen and twenty weren't allowed to do anything until King Avery's birthday and the tributes were drawn. Apparently, my father had been working in the mines a couple of years at that point. He had been taking on shifts at the mine since sixteen. When he was eighteen he began working full time in the mines. That was also the year that he'd finally injured himself enough to have to go to the town apothecary. He'd been sliced opened on a pick and was bleeding badly. My mother, who grew up working in the family owned apothecary was the only one in at the time. Her mother had been called to a family in town for a birth, while her father had been called to see a different family to set a leg. Lilly Bay had only just mastered stitches a few weeks before, but when John Everdeen walked in bleeding, she was immediately taken aback. He had a dirty rag someone in the ground had given him that was stained coal black and blood red. Lilly shakily stitched up John's hand. John, noticing how shaky she was, only assumed she was scared of him. He was after all tall, for the standards of the district, and covered in coal dust, turned nearly black. He began to sing, hoping to calm her nerves. By the time Lilly Bay had him stitched up, the two had become friends.

For two years, John Everdeen and Lilly Bay met in secret, waiting for the tributes to be pulled. The day they were and Lilly Bay was not among them, they went straight to the Justice Building and signed their marriage papers and had a toasting the next day. The two ran away together. Lilly Bay was disowned by her family. Lilly was content though. She and John Everdeen scraped by, Lilly practicing what was taught to her by her parents. Lilly was also rumored to be the best healer in the district. They began talking about family, when John's best friend, Sean Hawthorne and his wife Hazel, had their first child; a boy named Gale. Two years later the Everdeens welcomed me, Katniss Everdeen. The one thing they didn't consider was the fact that a son had been born to the royal family, making me eligible for the Hunger Games. He was a year older than me, the youngest prince that is. The Hawthornes and my parents decided to wait until the years eligible for the Hunger Games had passed. Two years after I was born, the Hawthornes welcomed another boy, Rory Hawthrone. Two years later, my family welcomed my baby sister, Primrose Everdeen, known to all close to her as Prim. Where I took after my father, Prim took after our mother. Two years after Prim was born, the Hawthornes had another boy, Vick. We were always poor but my father began taking me into the woods with him when I was about seven. He taught me how to shoot a bow. I managed to hunt a little bit. Then, when I was eleven there was a mining accident. The sirens ripped through District 12 and I grabbed Prim from the primary school and ran to the mines. Eventually, the only people left waiting for word on their loved ones were my family, the Hawthornes, the Andersons, the Wrights, and the Smiths. Those were the lives lost that day. It threw my mother into such a state of depression that she mostly sat in the rocker my father had made of her when she had me and stared at the wall, living in her own world, her own memories. She left us mentally. She forgot about Prim and myself. Prim, who was barely eight, pleaded with her, with no such luck.

We were near death when I had to report to the Justice Building to receive the medal in honor of my father. I had always avoided Gale Hawthorne. Even though he was two years older than me, I tended to stay with Prim and Rory whenever our families had gotten together. Now Gale was responsible for his siblings, but his mother and the new baby, Posy. I remember looking at him and something clicked instantly with the two of us. I knew Gale could make snares. I'd watched him enough. He knew I knew how to shoot. He was one of the few that knew that. It was like in that moment we made a pact. If it hadn't been for Madge buying bread for my family the day before, I wouldn't have been there to make that pact. The two of us were always quiet. We were often paired up with each other in school. It seemed the people avoided her because she was the mayor's daughter while I was avoided because I was sullen and then because everyone knew I went beyond the fence of District 12, to the woods to hunt and gather.

During the last Hunger Games Madge's father had her fill out the form. Even though a small stipend is given to each lady who is chosen and goes to the palace until they are dismissed. Even though it is small, each week it would feel like a small fortune to those of us in District 12, especially those in the Seam. Madge had her fill the form because she's the mayor's daughter and how would it look for her to not put her name in? Mom was only just coming back to us after years of neglect. I couldn't leave Prim. I had her to worry about, even though the money would have helped. So when the form came this year for the youngest prince, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd never wanted to get married. Gale had questioned me enough when we would hunt together, especially as this Hunger Games drew nearer. But Prim told me last year she really wants to be a doctor. That would require sending her to another district and would cost more than I could ever hope to earn working in the mines and continuing to trade my game.

Do I want my name drawn or would I rather not be picked at all?

Chapter 3

Today I am nervous. The tributes are being drawn today. Mom had a lot to do with the applicants again, just like when Gram had his Hunger Games and when Rye had his. However, that had back fired on Mom with Rye. Johanna was a stubborn loud mouth who was supposed to be a throw away. I am sitting in my room, staring out the large window down into the garden. I heard my door open and assumed it was Finnick coming to harass me yet again about my nerves but I felt a small tug at my trouser leg instead. I glanced down to see Bannock, my nephew, waiting for me to pick him up. He looked a lot like Gram. His hair was sandy colored and deep blue eyes and dimples that would appear when he smiled. I picked him up and put him on my lap.  
"Unca Peeta!" He had just turned three and still had trouble with some of his letters, but I only found it more endearing. Gram and Adele had announced to us two months ago that she was expecting again. Tonight they were planning on making the announcement in addition to the girls. Bannock clapped at my cheeks happily as I perched him on my hip.  
"Should we go find Momma and Daddy?" I ask him. He just giggles some more. Adele is more like my mother, as in not very motherly at all. I think Bannock overwhelms Gram so I've taken to hanging around with the little guy instead, seeing as he runs through nannies. I push the door opened with my hip before shutting it, finding Finnick looking panicked.  
"Oh god! Peeta you have him!" Finnick's look relaxes as he sees Bannock on my hip. "His Highness has him!" He yells behind him as he takes his place next to me. "Gave his new nanny the slip. Poor girl can't stop crying. I swear the brat's an escape artist." Finnick ruffles his hair and I try to give Finnick a stern look for calling my nephew a brat, but I know it is Finnick's own term of endearment. Finnick is the only one who can also get away with being informal with me. "So how are you feeling? You'll learn who your dates are in thirty minutes."  
"Don't remind me." I mumble to Finnick, while Bannock talks at me. We make our way down the stairs towards the main floor, where I'll take yet another set of stairs to meet my family for the weekly breakdowns on the Flickerman show. Finnick just chuckles at me. "Peet, I think you give yourself not enough credit. You're not bad on the eyes and a lot of the visiting Princesses claim that you're sweet. I don't think you have anything to worry about."  
"Except for dating thirty five women in front of the country." I roll my eyes at him. Finnick is the one that is handsome. He has sea blue eyes and copper colored hair, reminiscent of the sea he left behind in District Four. He was casual and easy going where all I seemed to worry about was what everyone was thinking and if it was correct.

Down on the sound stage, Adele rolls her eyes at Bannock and tells Gram to go get him from me. Caesar is getting last touches to his make-up and I'm nailed with a powder myself as Bannock leaves my arms. Johanna and Rye are fighting in a corner. The two never fight and they seem to have been at each other's throats the past month. Mom sits to one side, in her chair with Cornelius Snow talking to her, passing off the tributes envelops to Caesar. I'm shoved into a chair and before I know it, the cameras are rolling.

Caesar drones on. Adele and Gram make their announcement. Mom talks about something or another and finally wishes me a happy birthday. I hadn't received one from her all day. Then I'm asked to step forward and sit with Caesar while the names of the tributes are read by Caesar. I'm staring at a spot on the wall behind the cameras. I have no urge to let my emotions show right now. I haven't seen what any of these girls look like yet and don't want to offend anyone. I'll read over their sheets when I'm given the envelops.

"May the odds be ever in your favor, daughters of Panem!  
From the Capitol, Rose Snow and Harmony Evans.  
From District One, Glimmer Andrews and Cashmere Andrews.  
From District Two, Clove Callahan and Enobaria Embers.  
From District Three, Elizabeth Wiress and Isabelle Frost.  
From District Four, Annie Cresta and Lyme Lenox.  
From District Five, Jaqueline West and Bonnie Johnson.  
From District Six, Megan Hayes and Natalie Ross.  
From District Seven, Lydia Dormer and Lynn Cohan.  
From District Eight, Cecelia Sanchez and Twill Taylor.  
From District Nine, Jenna Quaid and Alexa Ludwig.  
From District Ten, Willow Ritchson and Leigh Golding.  
From District Eleven, Seeder Knowles and Amandla Gunn.  
From District Twelve, Delly Cartwright and last but not least, Katniss Everdeen!

Tributes, we anxiously await your arrival in the next week to the Capitol. Good night Panem!"

The blinking red light ceased indicating recording was over. I glanced at the room, before standing up and walking over to Caesar to get my envelops. Once in my hands, I turn to leave, interested in seeing the tributes. Bannock rushes over to me again having escaped Gram's hold and I pick him up. I suppose the opinion of a three year old can't hurt.

Once in my room, I set Bannock on my bed and sit down next to him. I dump the pictures on the bed. "Ok Bann, which one do you think is good for Uncle Peeta?" He seems to take this very seriously while I begin skimming the applications, starting with the tributes from the Capitol. Rose Snow is related to Cornelius Snow. It's a given as to why she is in the pile before me. It isn't that she isn't pretty. In fact, she has muddy blonde hair, rosy lips that look like it'd be fun to kiss, and dark blue eyes. Harmony Evans comes from another influential family. Harmony had wavy blonde hair and looked like she would fit right in with the Mellark boys. It turns out Glimmer and Cashmere Andrews are cousins. Glimmer is younger than her cousin. The two are tall and muscular and blonde but Cashmere seems to have gone into the sun too often and her chest actually looks fake. Clove Callahan was the first non-blonde to be pulled. She looks like she is up to something, plotting and deadly. She is burnet with hazel eyes. Enobaria Embers has light mocha colored skin but is intimidating as hell. Both ladies come from influential military families and have been groomed for military life themselves. Enobaria has curly light brown hair and light brown eyes but I think she sharpens her teeth into points, or the camera did not catch her smile right. I'm not anxious to meet her. Elizabeth Wiress is petite and looks intimidated by the world from behind the frames of large glasses. Her dull brown hair is bobbed. Isabelle Frost has long brown hair with streaks of blonde through it and looking at her I can tell she'd be happier in a library. Both tributes families have helped with many technological advances through the years and have improved our military's weapons. It appears the ladies are just as smart. Annie Cresta is petite as well and also appears shy from behind her red curls and green eyes, her skin appears to be made of ivory and her lips pink. Lyme Lenox is tanned with blonde hair, large chest, solid build, and green eyed. Jaqueline West looks like she belongs in the woods. She reminds me of the foxes I've seen pictures of in my lessons. Her eyes are intense brown and her hair a coppery red. Her partner from District Five, Bonnie Johnson, has eyes that seem to sparkle. She looks like she has a bubbling personality. While Jaquiline's family has ties to one of the countries outside of Panem, Bonnie offers nothing. She must have been one of the throw aways. In fact, now that I've passed District Four, Mom would expect the rest to be ones to throw away. Megan Hayes is busty and blonde, what my brothers always told me was the Panem dream girl. Natalie Ross had green eyes, a body to kill, and brown hair. Megan's father was the Mayor of their district and Natalie actually had family outside of Panem as well. Lydia Dormer and Lynn Cohan looked to be athletic but beautiful as well. Although, if I must admit, Lydia's nose was a little large, the two ladies would fit right in with the Mellark boys as well. I am starting to feel like my mother is hinting at something this time. Cecelia Sanchez speaks several languages and looks like she doesn't belong in Panem. Her skin is beautifully tanned, not the type of tan where you've spent too much time in the sun, but different. She has dark black straight hair and dark brown eyes. Twill Taylor looked like a twig. Jenna Quad had long flowing blonde hair that waved around her face and blue eyes, while Alexa Ludwig's blonde hair curled about her shoulders. Willow Ritchson was thin, her eyes large on her small face. Leigh Golding appeared like a ghost in her photo. Seeder Knowles and Amandla Gunn both appeared to be field hands in District Eleven. Seeder had skin the color of chocolate and kept her hair short, buzzed to her head, while Amandla was mocha and her curls fell about her face. You could see the exhaustion in their faces from the long hours of labor. Delly Cartwright looked like a nice enough girl. She appeared to be a bit on the chubby side, which was odd, seeing as the larger the number in the district, the skinner and less well fed the girls appeared to be. Delly's hair curled about her shoulders in shiny blonde bouncy ringlets. Her bright blue eyes sparkled through her smile and in her smile, you could see the dimples, much like Bannock's. It was the last picture I picked up though that shocked me the most. Katniss Everdeen. She had more of an olive complexion, chocolate brown hair that was braided down over her shoulder, stray hairs falling about her silvery grey eyes. She looked so underfed that I wanted to send her to the biggest meals I could. There was something about her stance that looked like she'd been through so much and was carrying it on her shoulders. I desperately wanted to take that away and protect her. More than that, I wanted to make her smile. I felt like she didn't do that too often based on the entirely neutral appearance in her picture.

By this point, Bannock has tried to hand me nearly every photograph, thinking each one would do for me. I wish I could see the world through his eyes again. I smile as I look down at Katniss's photograph in our hands. I'm determined to try to make her smile. I catch Bannock yawning and pick him up and take him to his nursery down the hall. The royal family all lives on the same floor, with the exception of Mom. I wrangled Bannock into his pajamas and his nanny was thankful when I put him in his bed, essentially locking him in for the night. He hadn't yet figured out how to scale the railings of his bed. I hugged Bannock goodnight and left his new nanny in charge. I really needed to come up with a plan.

Chapter 4

"So I filled out the application." I told Gale as he untied a rabbit from his snare. I must have shocked him with my confession because the leather whacked him in the face.  
"You did what Catnip?"  
"I filled out the application… For the Hunger Games." I dug the toe of my boot into the dirt. "You know they pay you a few dollars just to fill it out. I need the money for Prim." I confess. Never would I use that money for myself. Hell, most days I went without even eating so that Prim can concentrate in school. I'm ok with that. Until Gale found out. I'd fainted in school a few weeks ago. Mom was in one of her spells again. Prim was twelve this spring and I felt that this was my last chance to get Prim's dreams to happen. I knew she could take care of herself if I was chosen. If not, at least I had a few more dollars to help her. But Prim couldn't help me home and she sent Rory to get Gale from the mines. Gale was mad that his shift had been cut short having to come and get me. He'd been working full time in the mines for a year now. At nineteen, he was no longer the scrawny thirteen year old I'd teamed up with. He'd grown well over six feet tall. His dark brown hair had a habit of falling into his grey green eyes. Underneath the coal dust, he had the same complexion as me. He was lean but nearly all muscle. He'd had to carry me home that day and yelled at me the entire time. As the Hunger Games drew closer, Gale had been poking at me more and more about what I intend to do with my life once I was out of the clear. I'd told him time and time again, I had no wish to marry. Gale was hoping to get drafted. He'd mentioned wanting to take myself and Prim with his family if he ever was drafted. But now, he was scowling at me.  
"So basically, your selling yourself?"  
"I'll never get reaped anyways so don't get yourself all worked up over nothing. This makes sure Prim's set for the year." I cross my arms over my chest, bow in one hand. "Admit it, you'd do the same thing for Rory, Vick, and Posy." He instantly softens at the mention of his younger siblings. That's something else that's similar for us. We're raising our siblings since our fathers passed. It's up to us to make sure they have a roof over their heads. It's up to us to go without so they can eat.  
"But Catnip. I know you don't want anything to do with this." He slips the rabbit he was holding into his game bag before turning towards me, petting the top of my head, in an odd display of affection. Gale didn't tend to show me much affection. And even though it was illegal, he had been with a number of girls. At the slag heap. He started going to blow off steam not long after our fathers were killed. I, on the other hand, had no time for such frivolous ideas, nor did I even want to. Sex, not only was illegal, but can result in children, which I don't want either. I'm too busy with Prim.  
"Prim…" I mumbled underneath my breath as Gale stepped closer to me. I think he kissed the top of my head but turned to leave, moving onto the next snare. He seemed hurt. I couldn't understand why. This wasn't done with him in mind, this was done for Prim.

The rest of the hunt was done in silent tension and just before the fence, we hid the bows and divided our spoils. I took only the pheasant I had shot, claiming I could trade the feathers and keep the meat just fine. Inside the fence we went our separate ways, me running home in order to get Prim and myself ready for school. We only had a bit left until we would break to watch The Hunger Games. Prim was already up and milking Lady, while chatting away at Buttercup. Mom was in bed. Another bad day for her. I quickly cleaned the blood off of me and splashed some cold water on my flushed face. It was already warm for this time of year. I re did my braid and Prim was already half way out of the door. At school all the girls could talk about was The Hunger Games and hoped to be reaped. I just kept my head down and stayed quiet as always.

A few days later was the reaping. Mom actually got out of bed, even if it did take a bit of coaxing from Prim. Prim and I dressed in the best we had, Prim, a pale, semi worn pink dress with limp lace. I was in a pale blue dress that was from Mom's merchant days, manning the shop. I was much too thin for it. It hung oddly off of my body and my arms didn't fill the sleeves properly. Together we went to the town square, in front of the Justice Building, where a large screen had been set up by the Capitol. Everyone was expected to watch the reaping live in the square. I scanned the stage, noting Mayor Undersee. I missed Madge. She was my one friend at school. Standing next to him was a hoard of peacekeepers. The last reaping, when an orphanage was pulled, some of the merchants got a bit vociferous and caused a small fight between Seam and Merchant. This also ensured that after the reaping, since the curfew was extended, that everyone went home directly after.

The screen darkened and the seal of the Capitol spread across the screen. The royal family was off to one side of Caesar Flickerman, who had dyed his hair a tint of blue and had lips and a suit to match. On the other side of Caesar were advisors and council members. Council members and advisors came to the center to discuss updates with Panem. Then the moment everyone but myself in Panem was waiting for. The reaping. In the bottom corner of the screen, the prince sat next to Caesar, as Caesar read the names. As a name was read, a picture of the tribute was displayed. I watched the prince. He looked devoid of any emotion, as if he wasn't actually looking at the pictures of the tributes, but rather a spot on a wall. I did have to admit Prince Peeta Mellark was handsome in his own way. He had curly blond hair, with one particular curl that seemed to be tamed back, but probably fell into his face often. His face appeared to be one that would put everyone at ease, and was friendly. His nose slopped gracefully and his lips were a pale pink against his pale complexion. It was his eyes though. Prim had bright blue eyes, but the prince had a set of strikingly bright blue eyes that could captivate anyone.

And that was when I heard my name. "And last but not least, Katniss Everdeen. May the odds be ever in your favor."

I didn't get a chance to understand or even notice anyone's reaction. Instead, as the screen turned back to its grey, we were all ushered back towards our homes. I felt Prim's hand tightening around mine. I knew Prim must have understood what this meant and then why I had done. I knew Prim was grateful and would be ok.

The days until I left for the Capitol blurred together. A few officials came to have me sign paper work, stating that everything I had filled out on the contract was true and that my virtue was still intact. That one made me extremely angry. A doctor also came to examine me. I was pronounced malnourished and given vitamins to try and correct the problem. The Capitol doctor was an idiot. Of course I was malnourished. Everyone in the district was malnourished, even the merchants. I swallowed the vitamins given to me though. I would have disqualified myself if I hadn't complied. I also had to sign a contract stating that I was going to the palace strictly for Prince Peter Mellark. I did find myself baffled. I honestly hadn't known Peeta's real name. But I signed the contract and was given my first payment. Even if I was sent home the first night, this would take care of us for at least three months without me having to do anything.

The last day at home found me in the woods with Gale. My being reaped was the elephant in the room. Gale seemed to seriously struggle with the fact that I was going through with this. Gale and I managed to gather and hunt enough to keep Prim eating for a few days as well as the Hawthornes. Prim knew how to handle money though. Our father's death taught the two of us well. As we packed up and hid our bows in the hollowed out log, wrapped in the water proofed covers, Gale turned and grabbed my hand. He stood up, towering over me, the top of my head barely hit his chest.  
"Catnip…" He trailed off before bending down and cupping my cheek. I didn't know what Gale was up to but when he leaned in and met my lips with his, that was the last thing I had expected. He pulled away quickly. "I had to do that, just once." He left, quickly, as if he was ashamed. I sat in the woods for a bit after that, trying to process what Gale had done. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Gale had kissed me. Me. I had always thought we were only friends. Gale had a gaggle of girls following him and went to the slag heap a few times a week. Never once had he expressed wanting to me to go with him. In fact he'd flirt with some of the girls in front of me at school. I didn't even realize that he thought of me in that way. How would I with some of the stuff he pulled. He'd occasional stand me up on our hunting days for slag heap trips. His family came first, Gale came second, and I came third. Eventually, I had to give up, realizing I just wouldn't have a clue as to what happened and stood up to leave. At the fence, I listened for the sound of the current of electricity and found none. I slid myself under the gap in the fence Gale and I had been using at this point for years. I made my way home and to bed, snuggling down with Prim. It would be weird to not have my sister's breath tickling my neck throughout the night. Soon, sleep pulled me under, for a long restless night.

Chapter 5

The tributes would be arriving tomorrow. I would not get to meet them for forty eight hours though. I was nervous. Finnick had been teasing me since the reaping. He and one of my other guards, Thresh, had taken to stealing the photos of the tributes and making bets among the rest of the guards as to who I would end up with, or, who would have the biggest make over transformation, to, which tribute would go first. I did catch Finnick looking at the tributes from District Four. He seemed transfixed on them. I could only assume he was thinking of the home he didn't have many childhood memories of.

This past week had been difficult to stay focused and get any work done. One of the rebel groups had attacked a weaker portion of District Five and left chaos and destruction in its wake. While Rye was actually doing a good job at getting military out to that section that was devastated, I found it difficult to rally Panem and keep them calm, reuniting them, motivating them to stay together. I knew some people of Panem wanted to split off into their own countries in hopes of having more food or the chance at something better, not just what your district dictated of you. I did agree with those thoughts, but there had to be away to do everything peacefully. In order to even leave your district without being invited by the Capitol required hours of paper work. To study in another district cost more money than most people could dream of, unless you were from the Capitol or Districts One or Two. My mother and Snow were of the thought process that you belonged where you were born. Of course Mom would think that, being raised in the Capitol then handed a crown. Instead, my thoughts were mostly consumed by The Hunger Games.

I lay in bed, growing anxious. I watch the shadows on the wall, indicating the passing of the night. I could feel the breeze from my open balcony doors. As I turned towards the open doors from my large bed, I notice the inky black beginning to turn blue-purple and the twinkling stars beginning to fade. No longer able to lay around, I get up, forgoing putting my robe on or getting dressed, instead padding out onto the balcony. Out on the balcony, I leaned against the stone railing, settling my bare forearms onto the cool stone. The cool air bit at my stomach, causing my muscles to tense. Instead, I stare at the sky, watching the sky move from its blue-purple to a light purple to an orange that is my favorite color, slightly yellow with a hint of pink in that orange. As the pinks and oranges move towards the yellow of the day, I scrubbed at my face, pulling at my hair. Down below, on the grounds, I could hear the footmen working to prepare for our guests. I could hear the activity of the guards moving about, some getting the morning workout in, others switching posts. I knew downstairs, taking over the floors below me, stylists, TV crews, cameras, and maids would be running about. The stylists would be pulling their clothing options for their tribute to wear for a mini interview this evening and directing their teams to prepare the tributes for their make overs. The TV crews would be setting up lighting, back drops, and finding the perfect angle for their interviews. The photographers would be working on the area for the before and after photo shoots. I honestly don't understand why a makeover is such a big deal, with Capitol citizens trying to emulate their favorite tribute. Maids would be finishing prepping the tributes rooms, ensuring that anything the tributes would need would be available.

"Well hey there, sexy." I turn at the sound of Finnick's mocking voice. Sure I'm just in my boxers and lost in my own thoughts and it's Finnick. He can get away with murder. I glare at him from my spot on the balcony. "You really should come inside though Peet. The tributes are coming in. It's not safe." I sigh and step into my room, shoving the French doors closed behind me.  
"True. I mean, parading a bunch of tributes could result in a blood bath." My sarcasm was covering up the truth. It would be a perfect chance to hit the monarchy. At that moment, one of the butlers knocks and enters my room, asking if I'd like to have breakfast in my room or in the dining hall with my family. I opt for breakfast to come to me and in less than twenty minutes pancakes, eggs, bacon, muffins, coffee, tea, and orange juice is rolled into my room on a cart. Finnick plops down at the small two person table and chair set I have in a corner and begins to help himself. I shake my head at him and sit down and eat.

"Knock knock." I hear Portia say as she enters into my room while Finnick and I are nearly done eating, him teasing about a bunch of girls taking over the palace today. I smile at her.  
"Here to work your magic on me?" I ask her.  
"No," she shakes her head at me. "Just to tailor your new suit for tomorrow evening." I laugh at her as she leans against the dark wooden desk. Portia became my stylist during Rye's Hunger Games. Because I was older during Rye's games, Mom declared I needed to put my best foot forward and look respectable. I'd just had one of the butlers help when I needed clothing for the formal events, normally getting a maid lent to us to sew, but Mom decided I needed to up my game. I had instantly clicked with Portia. She was slender, chocolate skinned, with short blonde cropped hair. She insisted upon giving me pieces that were comfortable yet fashionable and trend setting. She had mentioned that her design partner, Cinna, was going to be a stylist for this year's games. As she leaned her hip against the ledge of the desk, she smiled that crooked smile at me, getting me to stand up and allow her to retake a few measurements. We talked for a bit and it was mid-morning when I heard the first bout of cheering from over the palace wall. That signaled me to the first wave of tributes arriving. When Portia left, stating she had some tailoring to finish before tomorrow, I began dressing.

"Peeta, you know you can't see them. In fact, Gram and Rye wanted help working on aid for District Five." Finnick laughed at me.  
"Finn, you know you want to spy a little bit." Finnick gave his standard Finnick grin, letting me know I'd won a bit. He'd let me peak, but then deliver to my brothers. Gram, Rye, and I had been throwing out ideas on how to get aid to those whose lives had been impacted by the rebels. Mom wanted nothing to do with our plan. She deemed it a waste of time and resources. We were trying to figure out a way to get it passed her.

On the second story landing, I kept myself hidden behind a wall with Finnick behind me. Of course Finnick would be laughing at me. He didn't have to wait to meet the tributes. He could talk to the tributes whenever and did not have to follow protocol in addition to dating in front of the entire country for entertainment. I heard the clicking of heels and saw Effie, responsible for educating the tributes in addition to grooming them. She was basically running the show, getting the tributes everywhere on time, ensured they played by the rules, taught the tributes etiquette and educated them. Following her I saw a group of blondes, a couple of brunets, one with mocha skin, and a red head. The Capitol through Districts Four if I remember correctly. Darn. This is not the group I was hoping to see. I really wanted to see her. Instead, I had to leave to work.

The rest of the day dragged on. Gram, Rye, and I rarely worked in the same room at the same time together. We tended to get very distracted otherwise. It would always start with Rye, the clown of us, doing something classically middle child. Usually, it was try to mock Gram. Gram would end up glaring at Rye while still trying to work. Before I'd know it, I would end up laughing but try to hide it. Somehow, paper wadded balls would end up being launched at each other. No work would get done. Instead of getting on Gram's nerves today, Rye decided to pick at me. The Hunger Games would officially start tomorrow when I met the group but Rye, being Rye, and knew me fairly well, knew I was nervous and began to tease me. Instead, I sought advice from my brothers. They'd both been through The Hunger Games before.  
"How did you know?" I asked.  
"Well, I caved to Mom. Not that I don't like Adele. But, when we'd spend time together, she just made me feel whole. I felt that same way when I'd spend time with Talia, but because Talia was from District Eight, Mom made it pretty clear that she wasn't the right choice."  
"I really went into mine with the idea to piss Mom off. But I realized, there was no getting out of my situation. That I'd have to live with whoever I decided on for the rest of my life. Build a life with them. So, instead, I ignored Mom. I ignored Snow. I even ignored Leeland and Haymitch. Johanna has spunk. That attracted me to her. But as I got to know her, underneath that spunk and mouth, which happens to piss Mom off as an added bonus, she made me want to be a better everything, just for her. I knew after a month. I just dragged mine out to annoy Mom and Snow since they were hell bent on getting me together with Annelise since she had that tie to Europe." Rye smirked. I noticed the far away looks in both my brothers' eyes. "We're uh…Pregnant you know." My jaw dropped.  
"What?" Gram and I both questioned.  
"We just found out the other day. Apparently that is why she's been even worse lately." Rye was grinning stupidly. For the one that never wanted to grow up, he'd certainly taken to responsibility well.  
"Congrats are in order I guess then."  
"Thanks Peet. Just promise us, you do this game for you. You pick for you. If you fall in love with fucking Rose Snow, then pick her. Who cares about everyone else? I mean, Mom will probably worship you like Gram, but if you fall in love with one of the girls from District Twelve, then pick them. You'll always have our support at the end of the day." With that we each turned back to our paperwork.

Chapter 6

The morning I had to leave District Twelve, I was miserable. I really didn't want to leave Prim. Prim clung to me while I dressed in the black capped sleeved dress that was required of all of us to wear, with a white blazer over it. We were allowed to pick out our shoes and I put on my hunting boots. I had stuffed Dad's hunting jacket into my bag, along with a picture of Prim and myself. We only had three pictures in our home; one of Mom and Dad at their toasting, one of Dad, that had been given to us by the district when I got his medal, and one of Prim and myself. I knew I could never take Mom and Dad's toasting so I opted for the one of Prim and I that had been taken just before Dad had died. I wished I could have taken my bow and arrows but that would have gotten me into an extensive amount of trouble. The tiny sniffles drew me out of my thoughts.  
"Oh Little Duck, don't cry." I wrapped my arms around Prim. "Greasy Sae will be coming by to cheek on you almost every other day and you'll still have Rory and Vick and Posy."  
"But I'll still miss you." She toyed with the end of my braid that had fallen over my shoulder.  
"And I'll miss you. I'll be back before you know it though." Prim shook her head at me.  
"But you have to try Katniss. Promise me." Prim was worried that I was doing all of this for her, which I was, but that I'd become a shell of a person and shut myself down. She wanted me to make friends and try to enjoy myself as best as I could. I extended my baby finger out to Prim and entwined it in mine, resting my forehead against hers.  
"Promise." I heard a knock on our door and knew it was time to get going. "I'm leaving those vitamins here. Take them." Before Prim could say anything I answered the door Mom was standing by. Mom had actually gotten out of bed willingly and was going to walk with us to the train station.

At the station, crowds of people were clustered together in an attempt to see Delly and I and to wish us well on our journey to the Capitol and The Hunger Games. Delly's blonde curls bounced in her excitement. Delly was in my grade and though we weren't friends, she did acknowledge my existence and always had a smile and a polite hello for me. I suppose if I was stuck with someone through this ordeal, I couldn't have asked for a better district partner. Delly chatted away the entire trip.

At the station in the Capitol, Delly and I heard cheering as the train came to a halt at the platform. Signs were displayed for favorites everywhere. People had turned out just to get a glimpse at us. It was overwhelming. A set of guards escorted us off the train and tried to keep us separated from the crowd. A tiny girl broke free, a small bunch of flowers in her hand that appeared to really be more weed than flower. The guards acted like the weeds she was carrying were a grenade. They went to try to hit her back and I instantly put myself between her. I had caught a glimpse of her and she reminded me of Prim when Prim was younger. I think it was the eyes. They both held such hope and trust that I was drawn to them. I waited for the stinging sensation to hit my cheek but it never came. When I cracked open my eyes, the guard was glaring at me. I was property of Panem. If I arrived damaged, he could be in trouble. I bent down to the tiny, trebling girl, who handed me the small bundle before quickly throwing her arms around me and running back into the crowd, disappearing completely. A lot of the cheering at that point had died down. I knew I'd done something wrong but instead stood up and walked behind Delly to the car that would take us to the palace.

The drive, even though it couldn't have been more than a couple of miles, was slow and tedious. Citizens lined the streets leading to the palace, cheering. I saw a lot of the signs were in support for Rose, Glimmer, Cashmere, and Clove. I don't think I saw a single one for Delly or myself. It didn't' bother me. I wasn't here for any of this, just for the money, but Delly looked a bit sad at the lack of support. Dotted in the signs for the upper districts were signs in support of a tribute named Annie.

My thoughts were pulled when I noticed a stone wall coming into view. On either side of a wrought iron gate were guards. A set of guards opened the gate for our car and we pulled into a cobble stone drive. Bright green grass lined either side of the drive, leading us to a fork. One side of the fork continued in a cobble stone fashion towards the main entrance of the palace. I could see the face of the large building. It reminded me of a picture I'd seen of something called Winsor Palace in a place called London, England. That was in a tattered history book at school, showing the world before the dark days. The other fork, the one which we continued on, turned to gravel as we pulled underneath a covered area and stopped. I could only assume this was a less formal entrance. We were escorted into the palace and I had to gawk. The fanciest place I'd ever been was our Justice Building in District Twelve. This place by far surpassed that. I didn't get much of a chance to take anything in as a blonde wearing butterflies met us in a hallway with large windows and paintings.  
"May the odds be ever in your favor." She greeted us. "Now, if you ladies will follow me we're going to hand you off to your stylist and prep teams, but we need to get some before pictures first." I followed, completely dumbfounded. I was stuck against a white wall and a bright flash indicated my picture had been taken. I blinked, seeing spots as someone tugged me forward and I ended up in a partitioned area where beds were set up. Before I knew what was going on, my clothing was being removed and I was being doused with baths, oils, and lotions. Scrubs to make my skin flawless. If it managed to cover up the bad scar I had on my thigh from getting bit by a wild dog, I'd take it. Prim had stitched me up when they'd finally gotten bored with me up in the tree I was stuck in and walked home, and though Prim was talented, she'd told me I'd always have some mark of the event. I chanced a look at my thigh while I was told to lay down on a steel bed. I noticed the usually deep lines were nearly faded. I suddenly felt something hot on my legs before it was spread around. I felt a pressure applied on the area where they had placed the hot, sticky stuff. And then a sharp pull and I felt my hair being ripped from my body. Oh god did it hurt! I squeezed my eyes shut, tears leaking from my eyes. This continued on and on. All over my body, even both sets up lips received the same treatment.

When I opened my eyes after the pain subsided I had three sets of eyes looking down at me. They looked so excited. As I sat up they followed me.  
"Katniss Everdeen, we're your prep team." A woman with shorter black hair and eye lids tattooed in fancy swirls introduced herself as Venia. She introduced the younger lady dyed a shade of light green as Octavia and then man with orange corkscrew curls as Flavius.  
"Please, I want to still look like me." I choked out.  
"Well you're lucky. Cinna already decided we don't get to do anything fun on you." Flavius pouted at me. "No alterations, only enhancements. Personally, I think embedding a couple of gems is an enhancement." I had to keep my face neutral, as the thought of any alterations made me sick. I had noticed my hair had been treated, making it a shiny, soft, chocolate brown color with a nutmeg hint when the light caught it correctly, while my nails no longer had dirt or dried blood underneath them and were filed and buffed to perfection. The one named Octavia began attacking me with powders and after a few moments pulled a mirror for me to see myself in out. I looked like a shiny version of myself. I exhaled in relief. "Do you think Cinna would be mad if I added just one gem stone?"  
"Flavius, don't scare the poor girl. I said no alterations. She's beautiful as she is." A man appeared around the partition, startling me. He had gold eye liner on, bringing out the gold flecks in his honey brown colored eyes, and skin the color of coffee with a lot of cream, like Mom drank on rare occasions we could afford both. "My name is Cinna, Katniss. I'm going to be your stylist throughout this experience. I'm here to help you. As I stated, I think you are beautiful as you are, we just had to clean you up a bit. I don't want to change a thing about you and I'm very happy you agree with that." I looked at him puzzled. Why wouldn't anyone agree with that decision? "We had a tribute already angry that we weren't dying her hair a different color." My jaw dropped. Cinna took my hand and lead me to a rack with my name on it. He carefully pulled a cream colored sun dress out of a garment bag before handing me a pair of wedge sandals to wear. I hadn't had much practice walking in heels so if he was going to make me appear taller, as I was one of the shortest tributes here, barely reaching, 5'3, at least it was going to be on a wedge and not a heel. As Cinna adjusted the straps of the sundress, he added a silver scripted broach that I realize was my name in fancy lettering. He added the smallest silver studs to my ears before sending me to have my after picture taken. "I have to go Katniss. You've just given me a fantastic idea for your dress for tomorrow evening when you meet His Majesty."

Effie came to gather Dilly, who's usually curly hair was straight, and myself, to take us to where we'd be sleeping. I assumed it would be like the orphanage but on a grander scale, where we'd all be in the same room but I couldn't have been more wrong. As Effie gave us a small tour, taking us to the second floor, I noticed many doors, some opened, others closed, but those opened I could see housed a single tribute. As Effie was taking us up the stairs, I noticed large floor to ceiling windows and a grand windowed door that led outside, to a beautiful garden. The garden looked fake but it was still outside. How I longed to be out there and find a good tree to scurry up. At the very end of the hallway, Effie stopped.  
"Miss Delly Cartwright, this will be your room." Effie pointed to a door that was opened, a girl waiting inside in a black capped sleeved dress, similar to the one we'd started out in, with a bright white apron over it. I looked at Delly as she stepped into the room, after shrugging at me. "And Miss Katniss Everdeen," Effie walked down two more doors and pointed to the only unoccupied room in the hall. "This will be your room."

When Effie left me, I took a tentative step into the suite. The room was bigger than my house. I had lots of windows and a set of French doors leading to a balcony, which I stepped out on. I had a room facing the perfectly kept garden, but I could also see where the garden stopped and a small clearing began before trees took over the landscape. Forrest. Woods. Home. I inhaled deeply, hoping to get some of the pine evergreen scent of home. Not exactly, but it would do. I looked towards the right of the garden and saw what appeared to be a pool with pool house. I did always enjoy the lake back home. When I looked towards the left there appeared to be stables. I didn't ride but perhaps the smell of the straw would be enough to remind me of Lady, Prim's goat. I turned to look back into my room. One wall was sunken in with a great big mattress inside of it. This was the biggest bed I'd ever seen. The neutral colored comforter looked warm and inviting and I was slightly excited that this is where I would get to sleep, even if it was just for one night, yet anxious since I always had Prim with me. If Prim wasn't in bed with me, then Buttercup was being a pest at me. Either way, I'd always shared my bed. I cautiously walked over to the bed and touched it. The mattress was plush and feathery unlike the straw lumpy thing I'd had back home in Twelve. I wish I could have Prim here with me just to even sit and try this bed out! I had a feeling it was going to be like sleeping on a cloud. As I continued to scan the room, I noticed a small table with two chairs in addition to a large wardrobe, dresser and mirror. There was also a small sofa. If I managed to last a few days, I wanted to try curling up on that with a book for a day. It'd be pleasant to not have to worry about a thing for a day.

I heard a noise from behind a door at the far end of my room. It sounded like something breaking and I was suddenly afraid of what was waiting for me. I did know how to fight, I reminded myself. Therefore, whatever it is, should be afraid of me! I clutched at the knob of the door, slowly twisting it before shoving the door opened quickly. I heard more glass fall and shatter on the floor and my eyes met a pair of deep blue sapphires. I realized she was wearing the same outfit of the girl I'd seen in the middle of Delly's room.  
"Miss Everdeen." She spoke so softly that I had trouble hearing her. She dropped into a tiny curtsey. "I'm so sorry about the glass." I shook my head at her.  
"Let me help you clean it up." I bent down and began to pick up some of the larger pieces. The girl seemed seriously upset that I was helping but let me go about it. Once it was picked up I stood back up noticing I was in the bathroom. Not just the bathroom, but the largest bathroom known to man, I decided. This really was the first story of my home in Seam. A large tub, a shower surrounded in glass, a toilet and large sink. I'd never had running water so just to have that for a bit was a luxury but to have a bath tub and a shower made me feel like one of the luckiest girls in Panem. I bet if the prince was watching he'd think me a simpleton, even though I was. I'd be a laughable simpleton though and I hate being laughed at. The girl with gem stone colored eyes nodded at me to move back into the room and she spoke softly again, introducing herself. "My name is Lavinia. I'll be your maid while you are here. I'm here to serve you." She had wavy red hair in addition to the blue eyes.

Before anything else could be said there was a knock at my door causing me to jump. Effie waltzed in announcing it was time for dinner. At dinner, we were assigned our seats with place cards. I ended up sitting next to Annie and Clove. I instantly didn't like Clove. She was bragging to someone on the other side of her about her skills with knifes and how everything with Panem was perfect. She seemed a little too conning for me, but Annie seemed nice. She didn't really say much though. She was shy I guess. But dinner made me uncomfortable. The girls from wealthier districts were treating the girls from poorer districts like dirt, rolling everything down towards Delly and myself. Delly just sat there smiling though. She's tougher than I gave her credit for. The food was excellent and that was the only great thing about dinner. I wish I could let Prim try some of this. I didn't even know flavors like these could exist. Once everyone had finished eating, we were dismissed, sent back to our rooms.

Back in my room, Lavinia helped me change into a flimsy silky green night gown that stopped just above my knees. It was also adorned with black lace. I'd never had anything this nice and this was just something I was supposed to sleep in. After I convinced Lavinia to leave me, I sat on the edge of the bed and the day's events began to replay themselves in my head. I had been running on adrenal until this point but now, I suddenly had trouble breathing. I began shaking. I couldn't stop. I didn't even realize I'd begun crying. My breath was coming in short bursts. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. Outside. I needed air. I threw myself onto my balcony and tried to take deep breaths but they came up short. My lungs were in pain with a burning sensation. I needed to get to those woods. I needed my safe haven. Without even thinking, I ran out of the room and retraced the steps Effie had taken us on the tour until I saw the large glass doors I was looking for. Guards were standing there, one with skin the color of dark chocolate, the other sandy blond hair and cold eyes.  
"Miss," the darker one said to me as I approached them, not even caring. "You're going to need to go back to your rooms."  
"Please." I choked out.  
"You aren't supposed to be here. Go back upstairs." The blond snapped at me.  
"I….I can't breathe." I choked out. I was so close to the space I needed to be. But I was getting dizzy. I fell into the sandy blond guard and he caught me, dropping his stance and looking rather put out to have to deal with me.  
"Miss Everdeen, you need to go back upstairs." The darker one told me. I began to whimper, begging, choking out the word please.  
"Let her go!" The blond nearly dropped me and the darker guard's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You heard me. Let her go!"  
"She collapsed Majesty." The blond said shoving me away from him. I was unsteady on my feet, with dark spots in my vision.  
"Open the damn door." The two stared at him again. "Now please Thresh." The darker guard opened the window and I bolted, the grass springing under my bare feet. I intended to go for a tree in the forest I'd seen from my balcony but I only made it a few steps in before I fell to my knees, feeling a stinging sensation knowing I'd scraped them, and laid my head against a stone carved bench. I was able to breathe again, but not for long. Prince Peeta himself was standing right next to me.

Chapter 7

I ate dinner in my room, going over the reaping forms. I don't know why I was so nervous. The tributes had taken over the palace and tomorrow before a formal dinner, I would meet them. I knew that they would have etiquette all afternoon. Naturally my mother would not tolerate any manners she deemed rude. The girls would learn how to enter a room filled with royals and distinguished individuals, properly eat a meal, including multiple courses, which Johanna said was one of her favorite parts since she got to eat. There was also how to properly sit anywhere and how to be presented to me.

A butler came in to wheel the cart out and I moved to change into a pair of worn sweat pants and pulled on a white t shirt. I wished I could go bake in the kitchens but I knew Finnick would be standing watching outside of my door. I sighed and lay out on my bed and stare at the ceiling, getting lost in my thoughts.

I tried to sleep, but my mind would not quiet itself. I began to pace about my room but that did nothing for me either. I needed to bake. Well, at least mix something. I decided I'd chance Finnick and go mix some dough for biscuits to be used for the help's meals. I knew some of the staff also managed to take extra food out of the palace when picking up things and handed them to some of the less fortunate, who were holed up in the unused parts of the Capitol, leaving them homeless. Most were those citizens who'd over spent and ended up left with nothing. I had a feeling some of the homeless were those who'd managed to get into the Capitol from other districts. I moved into the hall and didn't see Finnick and crept towards the staircase. I began to pad my way down the stairs towards the main floor so that I could make my way to the staircase that would lead towards the kitchens. As I hit the landing of the second floor, part of me wanted to stop and see if I could find her but knew better and just paused. I stared down the hall that would to another hall filled with the tributes, a few that I was actually very excited to meet, one in particular I wanted to protect for some reason I couldn't tell anyone why. I continued on hitting the first floor. While walking towards the side hallway that was pressed into shadows to get to the kitchens, when I heard a noise. It sounded like a young lady crying. Instead of just continuing on towards the staircase, I moved towards the noise.

In the moonlight spilling in from the large windows I saw Thresh trying to talk to a scrawny girl in Cato's arms. Cato looked ready to wring the scrawny girl's neck. As he shifted her in his arms as Thresh begged the girl in his arms, I noticed it was her. Katniss Everdeen. She was petite and if I looked hard enough, I knew I'd see bone, but for all that, I could see she had a lean muscular build. Thresh continued to approach her as if she was a wounded animal while Cato just got more upset. I heard her saying she couldn't breathe, that she needed to get outside. A look of violence crossed into Cato's features and I knew I needed to speak up now before he hurt her.  
"Let her go!" I commanded. I had to remain calm and authoritative. I knew Cato was a favorite for Snow and tended to act violently and disobey orders. Gram, Rye, and I have discussed time and time again that one of the first things we'd do within the palace was have him stripped of his military position and sent on his way.  
"She collapsed Majesty." Thresh responded. Thresh looked worried that I thought something else was going on. I looked into the dark, almost black eyes, indicating that I had heard him pleading with her that she needed to go back to her room, while she sobbed that she needed to go out into the night air. Cato on the other hand, seemed to think I'd just assumed the worse. He shoved Katniss into an upright position that she struggled to keep. I could see her knees buckling under her attack.  
"Well, open the doors." Thresh smiled at me before turning to the door to work at the lock while Cato's eyes bugged out at me. As soon as Thresh got the door opened, Katniss attempted to run. She began to lose the battle with gravity as she kept trying to move while her legs gave out. I turned to give her a bit of privacy and looked to Thresh and Cato. "Cato, you are dismissed of your post. Please find Finnick." Cato didn't seem to like this, but obeyed, taking off to find my personal guard. Once Cato was trudging towards the military quarters, and out of sight, I turned to Thresh.  
"Can you give us a moment?" Thresh nodded, turning himself back towards the hall, as if he was still guarding a locked door.

I cautiously stepped out into the cool night air, the light of the moon giving enough light that I could see Katniss's form shaking as she lay her head out on one of the many stone benches spattered about the gardens. I felt the grass spring beneath my feet as I approached the girl in front of me. I waited for her to acknowledge me while keeping a bit of a distance. She either didn't care I was there or was too wrapped up in her agony to notice I was there, waiting for her. I gave a small cough, clearing my throat, giving her time to acknowledge me if she wanted to. Apparently she didn't.  
"Are you ok my dear?" I asked. Her head shot up at me and I saw a spark in her eyes.  
"Don't call me that! I am not your dear. I'm not your anything!" Ok. So that hurt a bit. Even if she did hurt my feelings, I did enjoy the honesty. Everyone but Mom and Snow normally broke everything to me easily, slightly bending the truth. Never had anyone so bluntly spoken to me with such truth.  
"You don't like that?"  
"You'll say it to everyone else. Don't lump me in with them." She spat back at me. I nodded to her.  
"But it is only a matter of finding out which one of you shall be the most dear to me, so I'm not lumping everyone together." She stared at me hard, wiping at her cheeks. As she shifted to look at me more clearly, I could tell she'd skinned her knee, and it was bleeding a bit. "We should take care of that." I nod at her knee.  
"What would it matter to you?"  
"I do care about all of you. I hope to find love. If you're sick, how will I ever know?"  
"You actually believe you'll find love through this stupid game?" I shrug at her.  
"My brothers have found the loves of their lives this way. I don't have a chance to go about things normally, so for me, this is it. Don't you believe in love?" I could tell she was softening a bit until I asked her that.  
"No. Love makes you weak. That's if you ever find it."

I began to pace about the bench, taking her in further. I could see a small spattering of freckles on her nose. I guessed she'd spent time in the sun. At least that tended to happen to me when I was out in the sun for long periods of time, not that I had much time for that anymore. Her lips were a light rose pink color and looked like they'd be soft if kissed. Her eyes followed me as she tried to keep following my pace around the bench. I sat down on the bench next to where her arms continued to rest.  
"Well, I can only hope I do. I'm sorry, I can't read in the dark and I don't want to call you my dear again."  
"Katniss. Everdeen."  
"Well Miss Everdeen, if you'd like, I can let the guards know that you like to be outside here in the gardens so that you can come and go without being man handled." Hope seemed to shimmer in her eyes before they turned hard again.  
"Thank you Majesty, but no thank you." I nod, standing, brushing off my sweats.  
"Shall you be much longer?" She shakes her head at me. "I leave you to your thoughts, however, if you are longer than ten minutes, a guard shall be out to ask you to come in. Also, please don't mention this to any of the other tributes. I'm not supposed to meet with you until tomorrow. Goodnight Miss Everdeen."

Once back inside, Finnick was there with Thresh curious as to why he'd been summoned. I relayed the information of having Katniss asked inside if she didn't come in within ten minutes. Afterwards, I beg them to remain quiet about what happened and then began the climb back up the stairs with Finnick at my side smirking at me instead. Once back in my room, sleep found me more easily.

I woke late in the morning, having a luxury of sleeping in. I was not joining my family for breakfast that morning, yet again. Portia had already been by and there was a garment bag hanging on the frame of my bathroom door. Through the clear bag I could see a pair of khakis, a dark brown belt, a white button up and sky blue v neck light weight pull over sweater. My butler knocked and opened my door. Seeing me awake he asked if I wanted breakfast and nodded. He turned to leave and I pulled myself out of bed. I walked towards the bathroom and began my day. Finnick had brought breakfast in yet again was helping himself. I smiled and sat across from him.  
"I passed by the lounge…. Already hearing Effie lecturing the hell out of those poor girls. Sounds like some were "heathens" at dinner last night." I chuckled, picking at a muffin and shaking my head. Effie actually had tortured us as we entered into our teen years with etiquette and I remembered those horrible lessons well. Luckily, not much was seriously expected of me as a member of the royal family enabling my etiquette to never really be questioned, Finnick, on the other hand, was not so lucky. But Rye, Finnick and myself all endured the lectures and shrieks of Effie Trinket together.  
"I think that calls for us to save them, don't you think?" I smirked at Finnick. His mischievous grin matched my own. Technically, the Hunger Games had started this morning when the tributes were awakened, I was just pushing the time I met them up.

I dressed quickly and Finnick and I made our way to the first floor to the lounge. I could hear Effie through the solid wood door, yelling about elbows and crossing at the ankle. I didn't know what the last one meant, but the elbows, I could only guess that someone had attempted to prop one up on the table.  
"I know the cameras and Templesmith are inside already. They're doing a special on the training the tributes go through." Finnick informed me. Claudius Templesmith worked closely with Caesar Flickerman and would be following the tributes around with the cameras most of the time. I nodded, exhaling, before Finnick nodded at the guards to pull open the doors for me and in I stepped.

Effie's jaw dropped and Claudius became giddy at my appearance. "You're Majesty?" Effie stuttered at me. I smiled and surveyed the room.  
"Good morning ladies." Effie watched my every move. "I would like to give you a bit of a break here, and get to meet each of you quickly before you are escorted to lunch." I walked to the first place setting at the table Effie had had arranged to be brought into the lounge and was instructing the ladies at. I reached out my hand and let the first young lady, a blonde take it.

The first lady introduced herself as Bonnie Johnson. And thus everything began. A few ladies in I was introduced to Lyme Lennox. Once she started talking I instantly wanted her to stop. She didn't even attract me, but I'd wanted to give everyone a fair chance and hear them all out and think about them each for at least a day. But with Lyme, I wanted her gone. I knew then that no matter what I had thought, I needed to make cuts right away, introducing the Blood Bath. As the last lady sat back down, I stood up, noticing the steaming trays of food beginning to make their way into the room. "Ladies, if I have asked you to come with me, please do. The rest of you, please enjoy your lunch. Good afternoon." Lyme, Enobaria, Seeder, Willow, and Leigh stood and followed me out of the room, expecting to begin a group date. "Ladies, it was a pleasure to meet each of you, but unfortunately, your time here is up. Good afternoon."

Chapter 8

When the prince had spoken to me about being hopeful to find love, I actually felt kinda bad that I was so cynical and throwing the whole idea back in his face. He was slightly sweet, but I wasn't letting my guard down at all. When he'd left I'd gathered myself quickly, knowing he wasn't lying about sending someone to get me if I didn't come back inside in an appropriate amount of time. As I pulled my body up to stand, the stinging sensation intensified in my knees. I looked down and noticed I'd scraped them against the gravel and pavers of the paths of the garden. I'd had worse. I'd survive. I hope that Cinna would be able to cover the skinned knees tomorrow. That is, if I lasted. I'd basically yelled at the crowned prince of Panem. An offense punishable by death. Yet, there was nothing I could do now to change the outcome, so I brushed the deep green nightgown and made my way back inside.

Once inside, I noticed the dark skinned guard who had tried to calmly talk me back towards my room was waiting for me. He nodded at me as I walked over the threshold on to the plush carpet. I felt my face flush as he turned to close and lock the doors.  
"His Majesty has asked me to escort you back to your rooms as well." I nodded at him. "It can get very confusing at night in this place."  
"I'm sorry if I got you into trouble." I whispered out. I am not one to apologize often at all. He shook his head at me as he escorted me up the stairs.  
"You didn't, but thank you all the same." We lapsed into a companionable silence for the rest of the journey. As he drops me at my door, I bid him goodnight. I am now able to even think about getting into the largest bed I have ever seen. I touch the down comforter and it feels so soft. As I sink, literally sink, onto the mattress, I feel like I'm a bird settling into their nest or that I'm on a fluffy cloud. It feels fantastic. I pull the blankets around me and wish Prim could be here with me in this bed. She'd never want to get up. That thought reminds me of why I'd fled my room in the first place and what transpired out in the gardens.

Guilt begins to gnaw at me. The prince had been nothing but kind to me and I'd yelled at him. Not only had I yelled, he'd honestly tried to offer me a place that made me feel better and I'd been bluntly rude. I'd scoffed at the idea of love and ridiculed his way of life. Oh no! If I'm not put to death for my lapse in judgment I'll certainly be on my way home tomorrow morning. I'd lost my chance at giving Prim what she really wanted. The churning of my stomach followed me into my sleep along with my nightmares.

I've been plagued with nightmare after nightmare since my father died. I'd see the mine collapsing around him, closing me into darkness. Explosions rocking my world. I tended to wake screaming, face wet, and soaked in sweat. Tonight, my dreams were not just about my father and the mines, but Prim joined in to haunt me. Her frame frail and bony like the months after my father's death, telling me I could have changed her life for the better but that I'd failed. I was woken to shaking and for a moment I struggled to figure out where I was. Lavaina was shaking me awake. She'd already prepped a bath for me and began to usher me into the bathroom.

The tub was large and full of sweet smelling warm water and bubbles. I sat in the water, my knees bothering me for just a moment, but the water relaxed everything away. Too soon, Lavaina is tugging me out of the tub and wrapping a warm fluffy towel around me. She hands me a robe of the same material as the towel and left me to dry myself off. I pulled the robe around me and head back out into the room, wondering what I'm supposed to do now. I see Octavia, Flavius, and Venia all standing around the vanity in the corner, already plotting. Lavaina had disappeared, but the bed had been made looking as if it had never been touched. The three artists grab me and push me down into the chair. Flavius begins to pull my hair half up with pins that are simple save for a couple that have dark gems on the ends, but leaves the rest of my hair down, letting it fall into my natural waves, while Venia begins to work on my eyes and Octavia paints my lips. When they are finished with me, I'm slipped into a dress they had brought with them. It is a pale peach color and structured. The waistline of the sundress is higher, with a bow on the back. The back is opened, showing the pop of skin underneath my hair, yet is capped sleeved again. It is very pretty for a dress. Have I mentioned I really hate dresses? I am the only girl in District 12 that insists on wearing pants on a daily basis. They insist on some low white pumps that I struggle a bit to walk in. If I see Cinna, I'll have to beg for ballet flats. There wasn't a point of wearing heels in District 12. They were considered a luxury and therefore too expensive. Plus, I stuck to my boots. They were practical and great for hunting.

Octavia goes to find some jewelry for me but I shake my head. I go to the wardrobe that I had placed my belongings in and pull out a small pouch. I tip it into the palm of my head and a golden chain falls into my hands. I go to the mirror and work on the clasp of the chain. Once on, a tiny golden Mockingjay hangs in the hollow of my throat. That was the last gift my father had ever given me and I know he'd scrimped and saved to do so. We'd been in town trading and it had been in the window and caught my eye. I'd gotten the necklace for Christmas that year. It was rare we were ever able to celebrate the holiday but Dad said I never asked for anything and always gave what I was given to Prim so I'd earned this. I felt a stinging in my ears suddenly. I realize now I've been sat back down and I now have a set of holes in my ears. Venia is working on putting simple golden studs into my ears. I want to yell at them. She must sense this, and as the three's unspoken leader, decides to answer my glare.  
"We forgot to do this yesterday. Cinna insists for some of his pieces," was her simple response. I still hated it. When things had begun picking up for us after my father died, Prim had begun to beg to have her ears pierced. Greasy Sae had given me a fair trade to do it and even though Prim bleed for less than a second, I still turned green at the sight of the blood and bolted. I'd never wanted my done again after that. Damn it.

I'm deemed presentable and am shoved out of my room. I walk towards the waiting room where the rest of the girls are supposed to be waiting. Instead, when I step into the room, every plush sofa is empty. I sigh and take a seat in a beam of sunlight, waiting. The first girl to step into the room is Annie Cresta from District Four. She's wearing an emerald dress that shimmers when she moves and hits just above her knees. Lucky for me, mine is covering my knees. Annie looks up from the floor to me and gives a timid smile. I give one back to her. She comes over and sits next to me.  
"Hi. Annie Cresta."  
"Katniss Everdeen." We could hear a pin drop. Another girl comes into the room. She is one of the cousins from District One. I think this one is Glimmer because she isn't as tan and her chest doesn't look fake. She takes the seat farthest away from us, her dress shimmers. Not long after Glimmer has come and arranged herself, her cousin comes in. Cashmere and Glimmer have ended up wearing the same thing and the two bolt from the room after taking a look at each other. Annie and I laugh. This seems to break the ice between the two of us and before I know it the two of us are talking like we are old friends. It's odd since I've never really had many friends at all. All the girls have finally made it into the room and Effie Trinket has been standing there for ten minutes past the time we were supposed to be down there. She instantly begins giving us a lecture about manners and how it is impolite to be late. She then lines us up and we follow her down into a lounge. The lounge has had its sofas pushed to line the walls. A table has been brought in and set with place settings for a full course meal. Multiple forks and spoons and knifes line the plates and bowls. Several glasses of various sizes and shapes are at the place settings as well. Firstly, Effie lines us all up at the sofas lining the room and teaches us how to sit properly. A dull hour later and we are served tea and biscuits for breakfast, seeing as we are going to endure two full meals today, lunch as a practice round and then dinner when we will meet the royal family. Effie spends another hour teaching us how to be introduced to the royal family tonight. We are finally able to take a seat at the table, and are allowed to sit wherever we want. Delly Cartwright ends up on my left while Annie Cresta, who is fairly shy, is on my right. As Effie begins the tedious lecture as to what fork is for what and spoon for soup, we hear the door being pulled opened. Effie stops lecturing us and curtsy's low. We all turn our heads in the direction of the door and notice that the prince is in the room.

He looks really good in the light. He's wearing khakis and button up with a light blue sweater. The color of the sweater brings out the bright blue of his eyes. I had thought that Prim's eyes were blue, but Peeta's eyes are pure and intense. I stare and realize his lips are moving.  
"And I will call you over and we will have a little conversation." He nods towards the head of the table and a girl stands up.  
"What's going on?" I whisper to Delly. Annie is mumbling, pointing at the utensils, trying to remember what one is for what. Delly, on the other hand, looked like she could die happy.  
"He said he couldn't wait to meet us and wanted to have informal introductions quickly." Delly has her hands clasped together in her chest. My stomach is grumbling. Annie stands up next to me and leaves the table, heading over to one of the sofas that the prince has made himself comfortable at. About ten minutes later she sits back next to me and I know it is my turn. I have been thinking about what I am going to say to him for the last hour. I make my way over and don't do any of the things Effie has told us to do, instead plopping down rather ungracefully and start talking.  
"Listen, I am so sorry about last night. I was rather upset and you were just trying to be nice and I bit your head off and insulted you."  
"So then, can I ask you a question Miss Everdeen?" I nod. "Why are you here if you think love is stupid and pointless and doesn't exist?"  
"May I be 100% honest with you?" He nods at my question. "I really need to be here."  
"You mean you need the money?" I nod.  
"My sister really wants to be a doctor. And we have a hard time every winter. And I need a break from people." I'm hinting at Gale's confession to me. "But if you're willing I'll strike a deal with you. You must be terribly busy, running a country with your brothers and all these girl that you have to figure out. I'll help you! I'll be your friend!" I'll be his friend? I've only just made my first new friend this morning since Gale. I have to offer him something. I need to give Prim her dreams.  
"As long as you promise to enjoy the food, I'll be happy to have you as my friend." With that I nod, smiling a true smile and make my way back to my seat.

After Prince Peeta had left, Effie drones on and on and on. Finally at four in the afternoon we are released to our prep teams and stylists. Instantly, when I'm in my room, I'm stripped down and thrown into a bath. I'm scrubbed and lotioned down. I smell like vanilla. I kind of like it. I've never have these kinds of things before. As I'm placed in a robe, much like the one from this morning, and am sat down at the vanity again. My hair is dried with heat, some kind of wand and brush that Flavius is using to pull my hair straight. When that is complete, I have to look at myself in the mirror; my hair is shiny and smooth and shimmers different shades of brown when the light catches it. Cinna chooses that moment to knock and Lavinia pulls opened the door, letting him enter, with a long dark bag draped over his arm, a bag in his other hand.  
"There she is." Cinna smiles at me. Even though I haven't known him all that long at all, I find him to be calming and enjoyable company. I smile a very small one at him as he approaches his trio and myself. He looks me over and begins talking to Flavius, Octavia, and Vena. They nod and squeak excitedly at him and his words. They instantly set to work on me and Cinna sits on the sofa in the room near my side and begins to talk to me. "Have you enjoyed your time here so far?"  
"Well, I haven't gone hungry, that's for sure." I have zero filter. Cinna laughs at me. It is deep and rich.  
"I know District Twelve is a poor place and I'm glad at least you can say that." He says to me once his laughter has ceased. He stares at me for a moment and sighs. "Katniss, I am here to present you in the best light possible. I've heard a bit of your story, and before you ask how anyone would know anything about you, reports have done profiles on all of the tributes. I'm sure you are going to be slightly uncomfortable with what I put you in tonight, but please, trust me." He's so sincere all I can do is nod and agree with him.

Before I know it, my hair is pulled into an intricate braid, woven and pinned up, my slight curls framing my face. My eyes are outline in a striking black ink, deep silver and charcoal cover my eyelids, looking like smoke from a fire, but bringing out the silver tones in my eyes. My lips are a peachy pink and glossy, while my darker complexion is pinked up a bit on my cheeks with another powder. Cinna pulls out undergarments made of lace. The bra is a really a corset, ending just at my ribs and the underwear is more of a scrap of lace than anything else. I swallow my fear. I did tell Cinna I'd obey. I slip into the bra, which requires a bit of help and the thong, as I've now learned what to call the piece of fabric. Cinna pulls a pair of shiny black heels out of the bag as I pull the undergarments on then has me step into them. I'm shaky on them, but he tells me dinner is formal and I can't get away with wearing low heels or flats. He did promise to procure me what he called ballet flats though while we were talking and I was being primped. Cinna has me stand and he goes to unzip the dark cloth bag that he'd laid flat on the bed when he came in. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The dress is long, floor length. It starts out red on the top in what Cinna describes as a sweetheart neck line. Red tulle covers one shoulder when the dress slips on me. The hem of the dress is yellow, the middle of it mixing from red to orange and orange to yellow. There is a small train of light yellow silk behind me, trailing after me. I twirl in the mirror and as I twirl, I notice I look like fire.  
"My girl on fire. I'm betting on you." Cinna smiles at me. He completes me by placing the necklace I'd been wearing earlier in the day around my neck and ushers me out. Guards have come to usher us to the dining hall. Tonight we will be eating in the formal one. Camera crews are following us all around. I'm no exception. I notice the dark skinned guard from last night is outside of my door, offering me his arm. I smile and take it.

I am the last to be presented to the royal family. It is nerve wracking. Personally, if it was me in the dining hall, I'd be so bored and hungry by now, I would even bother to remember the last few girls introduced. Delly had been standing in front of me, her blonde ringlets bouncing about, cascading down her back. She was in light blue silk and white heels. Someone said Cinderella, but I don't know what that means. Neither did Delly. Instead, Delly being Delly just thanked the person for the compliment and told them they looked lovely all with a smile on her face, her blue eyes sparkling. I think of the perfect blonde haired blue eyed babies her and Peeta would make. I had noticed Annie up ahead of me as well, on the arm of a guard I'd seen about before. Cashmere, Clove, and Glimmer were clearly upset that they hadn't been given that guard to escort them. He looked like sea god, with sea green eyes and copper colored hair. Annie's red hair had been swept up and put in a low bun on her neck. Her dress also made her look like a mermaid the way it gave her a tail of green silk from her knees down, but it hugged her figure everywhere else. I liked Annie. She was an absolute sweetheart. I think I'd want her to win, Delly would be next. The others just seemed so shallow. As I am stuck waiting to be introduced, I talk to the dark skinned guard, who I have now learned is named Thresh. He has been a palace guard for some time. He was originally from District 11 and he told me of the fields back home. He hasn't seen District 11 for nearly seven years.

Finally my name is called and I walk into the room. At the entrance, Thresh, let's go of my arm and lets me continue on my own towards the center of the hall. The main table, filled with the royal family looks down at me. I keep my eyes cast down towards the polished marble of the hall and once I hit my mark, I curtsy down deep, my head bowed, waiting for the family to acknowledge me so that I may stand back up. I'm struggling. These heels are not making anything easy on me at all. I feel like I'm about to fall and as I hear Peeta begin to acknowledge, I don't wait for him to finish speaking but stand back up, hoping to regain my balance. It works. But I catch sight of the Queen's eyes and she looks upset that I had the audacity to do that. Peeta seems to smirk at me but nods at me to take my seat.

Dinner is tedious. It's stiff as well. The air has so much pressure in it, I think if I brought the coal in from our district and placed it in this room, it would turn to diamonds, even though Effie is under the impression that she would get pearls. We are served lamb for the main course on a bed of fluffy white rice, in a rich sauce with little plums. It tastes amazing. I think this is my new favorite thing. Before we had a creamy soup that tasted like springtime. By the time desert came out I didn't think I could manage another bite. I saw a plate of decorated cookies and picked up the tongs to get one. They were beautifully decorated with swirls of frosting. Prim would love this. She was always asking for me to take her to the bakery in town so that she could look at the decorated cakes. By this point, the youngest of the royal family was no longer able to sit still and was running about the tables, his uncle, Peeta, chasing behind him. Peeta stopped and stood by me and smiled as if he knew something.  
"So Miss Everdeen, how did you find dinner?" I quickly chew the bite I had taken, covering my mouth as I do so. Everyone is staring at us.  
"It was very good You're Majesty."  
"I'm glad you liked it. You seem to be enjoying your cookie as well."  
"Yes You're Majesty. I was just thinking my sister Primrose would cry at how beautifully these are decorated as well. She loves pretty things." I don't know why I felt the need to share this with him. He ponders me as the youngest royal tugs at his pant leg and he bends down and places the chubby toddler on his hip.  
"I am most intrigued by this. How about a wager?" He asks me.  
"What?"  
"What would you like if your sister cries at these cookies?" What could he possibly give me? Certainly not my sister. But what else in this stuff palace would bring something of home to me.  
"I'd like to be able to wear pants for a week." I boldly state.  
"Deal. If your sister doesn't cry, I request you to go for a walk with me in the gardens tomorrow afternoon." I nod and Peeta calls for the guard that had escorted Annie. His name is Finnick. He sets everything up and says I will have my answer by midmorning. "Write to your sister though and let her know you're safe." He turns to the tables with the tributes. "In fact, all of you should write letters and we will get them out immediately." The tributes nod at the prince as he bids us goodnight, carrying a squirmy toddler out on his hip, following the rest of his family.

I bolt to my room faster than I care to admit

.

 _Dear Mom, Prim, Hawthornes, and Sae,_

 _I have made it to the palace in the Capitol safely, and semi soundly. You know me though, I must always cause trouble wherever I am. I didn't want the Capitol to change me much with the makeovers, and I don't think it made the family too pleased with me._

 _I have met His Majesty and the rest of the royal family. His Majesty is definitely not what I thought him to be. I have the most wonderful room here as well, with such a large, comfy bed. Prim, it's much too big for just me. I wish I could share it with you. We'd never once kick each other._

 _I miss you all so very much and will continue to write. I am sorry to make this brief, but there is a gentleman waiting for this so that he may send these cookies._

 _Katniss_

 _P.S. Prim, don't these cookies just make you want to cry! They remind me so much of the cakes you love at the bakery in town._

Chapter 9

I am excited that I have made this little wager with Katniss Everdeen. She seemed to so put off the previous evening in the garden, but then apologized to me this morning, when I was really expecting another earful from her. She told me she didn't have much and wanted to give her sister her dream. I didn't know what that meant at all, but she looked so pure when she spoke of her sister, that I knew I had to learn more. I needed to keep her around in order to learn more about this girl who had taken my breath away from me. Then she made that proposal to me. I don't think she understands that I'm taken with her and was hoping to keep her around as long as possible in hopes that she'd change her mind, but I knew if at the moment, all she was willing to offer up to me was friendship, than that was where I'd start.

I've sent a hovercraft out with Finnick and boxes of cookies. Little did Katniss Everdeen realize that she'd also complemented me. After I'd talked and dismissed a few of the girls, I went to speak with my mother, who promptly told me I was worthless and hurled things at me, both words and objects. I decided I needed to de-stress myself and went to the kitchen. I speedily baked sugar cookies and while they were in the oven I began mixing the frosting, adding dyes into it so make multiple colors and loaded them into bags with a tube attached. When I was done, each sugar cookie looked like a piece of art work. I was excited to see if any of the tributes would go for my sugary treats when they'd have mountains pastries and other luxuries to pick between.

I knew dinner was going to be a tedious affair. Formal. Probably no less than five courses. Formal attire as well. I dressed in black suit slacks, tapered in to be a thinner leg opening, a black vest, white suit shirt, royal blue tie and black suit jacket. Completing my look, Portia gave me some shiny dress loafers and had tamed my curls back. I was already uncomfortable and I had only just stepped into the dining room. The rest of my family was already there. Bannock looked very dapper in his little suit matching mine and my brothers. Johanna was dressed in a nude colored floor length gown, already causing my mother to cringe. Adele was in a soft pale pink that hit the floor and chased after her. Bannock wanted to play instantly. I was his number one playmate. Living in the palace, Ban didn't have many friends or playmates and I usually indulged him. Tonight though, as I crouched down to his level, I whispered a promise that if he managed to be good I'd play tag with him. That was usually what we did between the last course of dinner and desert. It made for a good workout.

We took our seats at the head table. Haymitch and Leeland were at either end, while Snow was sitting next to Rye. We had selected our guards with higher clearance to escort the tributes down and present them to us. The guards would then join us for dinner. It took probably close to half an hour for all the tributes to be presented. The camera crews were eating this up and Effie looked at her tributes proudly for remembering to do exactly as they'd been trained to do. Finally, Katniss came in. As she was the last tribute to be reaped, she was the last to be presented. My breath caught as she walked in. I could tell she was struggling with the heels. A lot of the tributes seemed to struggle with some aspect of how they'd been dressed. Annie Cresta from District Four took tiny steps, not sure how to take a full step when the tight dress restricted her at her knees then flowed freely. Katniss looked like the flame in a fire. Every step she took, the light caught her dress, it seemed to light up. She worked hard to avoid my gaze. As she took her seat, and the first course was brought out, I looked over to Bannock. I was proud that he'd behaved himself. I turned and caught the pure ecstasy that seemed to flow through Katniss's face as she ate. I had heard that District Twelve was the poorest of Panem's districts, but watching her made me wonder just how bad it really was.

As course after course came and went, I desperately wanted to talk to Katniss. I wanted to ask her what her life had been like to make her appreciate an overly done piece of lamb so much. As the last course of dinner was cleared away, Bannock's patience wore itself out and he ran up and tagged me then took off as fast as he could go, laughing hysterically at the game. I feigned shock before slowly taking off after Bannock. I chased him around the tables, willing him to go near Katniss so that I could talk to her. Desert was brought out and Bannock, noticing his favorite part of every meal was out, scurried back to the table. As I turned, I took a glance at Katniss and noticed her making that face again. I had to ask. So I approached her. I did recall her saying she'd stay for the food, so I had to make sure we were keeping up with our end of the deal. I asked her and pressed to figure out what was on her mind, especially over something as trivial as a cookie that I had made. When she told me that her little sister adored pretty things and looking at the decorated cakes in the bakery shop back home, I knew I had my in. I threw up the wager and she accepted.

Now Finnick has come back and with news that, although Primrose Everdeen loved every bite and gushed over how beautiful the cookies were, she did not cry. I had sat up nearly all night waiting for this news. I smiled at Finnick and called for one of the butlers, drawing up a note to send to Katniss.

 _Miss Everdeen,_

 _It seems that your sister gushed about the beauty of the cookies, however she failed to cry. I will be at your room at 4pm to pick you up for a walk before dinner._

 _Peeta Mellark_

 _P.S. I hope you are enjoying your letter from home as well._

I folded the thick paper that was monogramed with my initials over the royal crest. After I sent a note to Portia.

 _Portia,_

 _I have recently entered into a small wager with one of the tributes. Even though I have won, I still wish to give her what she had wanted. The tribute's name is Katniss Everdeen. Would you please enquire as to who her stylist is and work with them to create a couple pairs of pants for her? Her request was so simple, I feel bond to honor it._

 _Peeta_

I had known once Katniss had asked for pants that she would get her pants, whether or not she won. It was so simple and pure that I could not deny her. I would equate denying her to kicking a small puppy. You would have to be completely heartless to do so. I would have Finnick drop them off with her maid while I was out walking with her. I was so excited to do so. Perhaps I could get her to let her guard down and would get to know a bit about her.

In the morning, I had the note dropped off to Katniss, along with the letter her family had written her in addition to getting the rest of the tributes letters from their families. Instead, I was forced to sit through tedious hours behind a mahogany desk, with my brothers trying to lure me into getting my temper up. Rye was called away in the middle of the day by Johanna. She was having horrible bouts of morning sickness, and while Adele had lived up to the term morning sickness with Ban, Johanna was having it all day. Rye was constantly worrying about how to keep food in Johanna. Also, if Johanna was going to be miserable, she was going to ensure that Rye was just as miserable as she was. Secretly Rye loved worrying over Johanna and doting on her. I hoped at some point to have what they had. Gram and I toiled a bit more over paperwork and trying to figure out how to calm the rebellions. Around 3 in the afternoon, a maid was sent for Gram; Adele was having a time trying to deal with Ban. Sometimes I thought Adele mirrored my mother too closely. She was closed off and cool towards Ban and sometimes completely gave up on dealing with him. She did offer Ban love where my mother only showed me hatred and distain. Gram excused himself and I left as well.

I decided to change. To me, Katniss seemed like a more simple kind of girl; being that she wasn't used to being around such luxuries, which did make me sad, seeing as I wanted to give her the world, whether she knew it or not. I felt changing into something more casual would help to put her at ease. I slipped into a pair of light khaki pants with a light green button up over my white tee shirt. I slipped into a pair of casual lace shoes made of soft leather and fiddled with whether to leave the first couple of buttons undone at my neck. I decided I'd meet myself in the middle and left the top one undone instead. I ran my hands through my hair quickly and left before my nerves got the better of me again and panicked.

I knocked on the door to the room Katniss was assigned. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with the other tributes, as they were still in lessons for the day, or I never would have gotten her for her room as I knew I'd be mobbed. A petite red head in a black capped sleeved tea dress with white lace apron pulled open the door, curtsying and stepping aside. Katniss stood in a pale orange dress that was sleeveless. The thick straps covered her shoulders and the square neckline made my eyes drift downward. I could see her collarbone protruding slightly and it made me internally cringe. Her life must have been so hard at home. I mean, if she had a bit more weight to her, I would probably sit there and lick her collar bone…. And where the hell did those thoughts come from? The dress was form fitting until it hit her waist, then it belled out and went to her knees. It was paired with small golden stud earrings and a necklace that I knew to be from her life, as we had nothing like that in jewelry in the palace supplies. She also had a pair of soft orange flats on. She was tiny. She barely hit my chest. I bet she would be the perfect height for me to put my chin on her head and kiss the crown of it while holding her. I bowed down to Katniss, and she tucked a few stray curls from her braid back behind her ear, looking at the ground.  
"Miss Everdeen, you look lovely." She cleared her throat at my complement.  
"Thank you your Majesty. You look nice this afternoon as well." I held my arm out for her. She hesitated. Her maid had made herself scarce and I decided to friendly tease her.  
"Please take my arm for the sake of appearances." A slight blush covered her features, as she did as I bid her to.

We made our way down the hall and stairs towards the garden. I wanted to take her here. I knew she had wanted to take my offer of ensuring her that she could come here as she pleased, but had declined, so I wanted to bring her back to a place she was comfortable. I nodded my head at some of the guards, ones who I'd taken to working out with as a teenager or those I'd known most of my life. Katniss seemed to tense at our close proximity but I chose to ignore it. Once we entered into the sunshine and fresh air, her demeanor seemed to change. She relaxed against me a bit but that quickly left when she saw a camera crew already rolling on us. Naturally, this being my first solo "date," the entire country wanted in on it, especially since it was the first "date" of the Hunger Games. They didn't need to know that Katniss had basically written herself out of this competition and I had allowed to stay. I shook my head at the camera and the crew. Claudius looked as if I personally had stabbed him. Luckily, Claudius had got us entering the gardens together and must have deemed it enough footage to keep the country on their toes and agreed to my glares, leaving, with a camera trailing after him.

I let Katniss decide where she wanted to go in the gardens. I'd been here numerous times and therefore I knew every inch. She noticed the guards that lined the walls and when I asked her questions, such as if the food was to her liking, I received curt responses. I decided I had to get her as far away from prying eyes as possible and took the lead. I led her to the edge of the field that separated the gardens from the woods. I was still able to have an eye kept on me, but in the shade of the trees hanging over into the field, was able to maintain some privacy.  
"So really Katniss, are you fairing ok?" She nodded at me. I wanted to talk to her, not play these games. I turned and placed my hands on her upper arms. Apparently that was the wrong move to make. It all happened so quickly, the shift in her and then the most excruciating pain to my groin, causing me to double over and try to keep from vomiting. Did this girl really just knee me? I didn't realize that I had shouted out either in pain or shock until I heard a guard coming over. From my position I waved him off and he went back to his position. Why would Katniss knee me? I'd simply tried to get her to face me. Something clicked and my stomach plummeted further to the ground, but this time not from pain. I righted myself and looked down at her.  
"What did you think I was going to do Katniss?" I felt like I was scolding a small child. But I had to get to the bottom of this. Would she really think I would do something like that? When she didn't respond, I knew the answer. "Katniss, I would never do anything like that. For fuck's sake, I was raised to be a gentleman." My breathing was becoming more labored than when I was in pain from the effort it was taking to not yell at her but attempt to remain calm. "Room. Dinner will be sent. Goodnight!" I turned and left, furious.

Chapter 10

I was left standing in the garden watching the prince walk away from me after I kneed him in the groin. The words of the advisor that had come to the house for me to sign my contract rang in my ears. _Never say no to the prince_. I'd reacted once I'd realized I was essentially cornered and alone, ensuring that I would never have to say no if he couldn't act.

But the look of horror at my response made me think I'd read into everything. That he actually would never do something like that. Instead of going to my room to get my supper, I, instead, curled myself into the base of a tree at the edge of the field, wrapping my body in on itself and let my emotions go. I'm not one to cry. I'm not one to show anyone what I'm thinking or feeling. Life in District Twelve made doing so a costly luxury. After the accident, it was impossible. I'd had to become the adult in the household. But this is what I found myself doing right now. Crying. Had I ruined my chances? Had I ruined Prim's chances?

Once I managed to calm down, I made my way back through the field, back through the gardens, back through the castle, where I knew dinner in the hall to be taking place, back up the stairs to my rooms. When I pulled open the door, Lavinia was sitting there, dusting the wooden pieces in the room, continuing to glance back at a box, wrapped in white paper with a silver bow on top of the bed. When she noticed me, she nodded at the package and I shut the door and went to it. Was this his way of throwing me out? I took the soft silver ribbon in my hand and pulled. The bow gave way and I lifted the paper at the tape before pulling open the lid of the box. Inside was a note. And three pairs of pants. One a soft gray color, one denim, which I'd never owned before but had heard it was what the field hands in District Eleven wore, and the last pair, a soft khaki, much like the prince had been wearing. He was still giving me what I had asked for. His request was that I wear them on Saturdays. I could live with that. If I ever saw a Saturday here.

I sent Lavinia out and didn't touch my dinner. Instead, I, once again, found myself curling in on my body on the bed and drifting off into a fitful slumber. When Lavinia woke me later that evening to try to get me to eat I only shook my head, told her to enjoy it instead, and went back into my fitful dreaming.

When Lavinia got me up for breakfast that morning, since I guess I was either being tossed out on my ass, or allowed to join everyone for breakfast, as we were now taking our meals together in the dining hall with the royal family, I was more exhausted then when I had went to sleep. Flavius, Vena, and Octavia eyed me suspiciously as they had to apply more makeup than usual under my eyes. The three dressed me in a light spring green tea dress that had long sleeves, different greens embroidering the cuffs making pretty patterns, and a pair of low heels and sent me on my way.

Down at breakfast, everyone was present. The tributes all sat in their previous spots that had been assigned to them when we'd been presented. The tributes kept eying me and whispering to each other until finally, Delly, always smiley, smiled at me and asked the question I knew everyone wanted the answer to.  
"So Katniss, how was it?"  
"Hm?" I'd been so lost in my thoughts, barely eating yet again, just stirring the oatmeal in front of me, that I almost missed Delly talking to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you Delly."  
"That's alright. I think that answers my question, but I'm still dying for details. How was your date with Prince Peeta? You never even came to dinner last night." She smiled at me, her ringlets bouncing in excitement.  
"It was nothing like I had thought it was going to be." I tried to keep my answers vague as possible. From down the table, I heard another voice.  
"What does that mean?" Rose Snow asked. She used the voice that Effie had taught us was appropriate to use at meal times, a soft, calming voice, never raising it. I pondered. How to explain that one?  
"I think I was expecting him to be different and he surprised me." Hopefully that was vague enough that only good things could be alluded to. Luckily, no one else was able to ask me anything as a loud crash was heard outside. The noise caused us all to jump. Since arriving at the palace, every noise I'd heard was soft, quiet, and calm; with the small exception of Bannock, Duke of Panem. But Bannock was a toddler. Toddlers live to cause trouble. But this was no playful sound. A guard hurried into the room and made his way to the Queen.  
"Majesty." He said with a quick bow that would have gotten him killed surely, if this hadn't been an emergency. "They've gotten inside." The Queen nodded and instantly the princes stood up with the queen. They made their way towards the windows and began to pull down what looked to be like metal shudders.  
"Get into the far corner ladies!" Snow yelled at us tributes. Some of the girls seemed to be in absolute shock. Lydia Dormer had entered into extreme hysterics and had caused herself to faint. I began to realize what was going on. Rebels had breached the walls. We were being attacked. Well. No way in hell was I going down without a fight. I'd live to see my sister's smiling face. I, hadn't moved until this point, but with the force that I moved now, caused my chair to flip backwards, as I staggered over to one of the windows. I looked over to see how this fellow Haymitch was working the shudder. I found the latch that I saw him holding and pulled with all I could. It was heavy, but once it got moving, it went down quickly.  
"Oh shit Sweetheart. Get back!" Haymitch scolded me, coming to help me with the lock. I wouldn't back down. Haymitch shoved my hands out of the way and put the latch in place, and not a moment too soon. A loud clatter came against the metal causing us both to jump back.  
"I told you Sweetheart." Haymitch replied, shaking his head at me. "Idiot." He went back to the table and I saw him grab a goblet and take a large drink from it. Isn't it a bit early to be drinking? Who am I to judge though? I made my way back into the furthest corner along the way, where the other tributes were gathered. Elizabeth Wiress was shaking hard, Clove Callahan looked like she wanted to fight with the guards and soldiers. Jenna, Lynn, Natalie and Amandla were huddled together crying. I looked around. I saw the queen and the princesses all looked strong and calm and noticed both Delly and Annie clasping each other in tears, though not as hysterical as the other group. I made my way over and told them to stop.  
"Stop it! Both of you!" That seemed to quiet them down instantly, shocked at my outburst that was just for them. "Look at the princesses. It's ok." Annie shrugged.  
"I guess you're right. We're safe and it will all work out in the end."  
"You're right Annie. We're safe." My stomach crunched and not from the lack of food in the past twelve hours, but I realized not everyone was safe. My prep team. My stylist. My maid. Where were they? Had they been walking around when this begun or we're they someone relatively safe when it started?

I walked away from Annie and Delly, who were happily chatting away now, and slunk into a corner by myself. I leaned my body back against the wall and slid down. It was very un-lady like, and I'm sure Effie would have had a field day with me if she hadn't been trying to attend to Lydia. I stare at one of the flowery centerpieces on the table in front of me and chew at my nail. What I would give for a bow and arrows and to go fight instead of just sitting here feeling trapped. I wanted to protect the few friends I'd made here in the palace. But I was useless.

I couldn't say how much time had passed when a body slid down the wall next to me. With that heavy footfall I could only assume it to be one person. His Majesty, Prince Peeta. He didn't say anything for some time, probably a good ten minutes before he broke the silence between us.  
"Are you ok Katniss?"  
"Yes…. No…. I'm not really sure." I say honestly.  
"Oh god, please don't cry. I hate it when girls cry. I never know what to do."  
"You run an entire country with your brothers, but tears bring you down?" I ask, baffled. He shrugged his shoulders.  
"So what's wrong? Do you want to leave?" It was my turn to look at him like he was an idiot and shake my head.  
"No. It's….What about my maid, my prep team, my stylist? I want them to be safe. I want to know where they are in this mess."  
"They're safe. I'm sure of it. We have drills and the guards are trained to respond quickly and get everyone to safety. Usually, we have an alarm system, but during the last attack, it was disarmed, therefore the guards have been doing extra training on altering everyone. I'm sure they are fine." The silence over takes us again as I nod at him. Finally, I break it.  
"What do they want?" There was another loud crash causing me to question them.  
"Who? The rebels?" I nod. "Depends on who you're asking. I have my own theory."  
"Care to enlighten me?"  
"Well, I believe there are two different groups of rebels. Ones that come from the north, from the outlying districts that were lost during the dark days, like District Thirteen. The others come from the south and I'm not sure who they seem to align themselves with. But the ones from the north, they don't kill anyone. When the chaos is finally calmed down and they have left, we find guards knocked out or tied up. They don't want to be followed while here. When they come through, furniture of the rooms they have gotten to are pulled apart, draws flipped over, shelves cleared out. It is when the southern rebels come through that they leave nothing but destruction in their paths. The invasions by them are much more lethal. I'm guessing by the noises outside we're dealing with the north."  
"Does anyone else believe this theory?"  
"Rye does. Gram is on the fence. My mother and Cornelius won't listen at all. Haymitch thinks I am on to something." He shrugs his shoulders at me.  
"It's a very confusing theory, but I think in an odd way, it makes perfect sense." We sit in silence again for a bit. Peeta has brought his legs up and is resting his arms against them, his shoulder is touching mine. I actually kinda want to let my guard down and enjoy it. But I am not here for that. I am here for Prim. Love will only make you weak and destroy you. "About last night. I am sorry." He looks over at me. I don't let him speak. "When I was visited to sign my contract, the man told me we were never to say no to you if you ever asked for anything. I got nervous. I'm sorry." Peeta pales.  
"He what?" He swallows hard a couple of times. "No. Never mind. I don't want to know. Katniss, I would never do that to anyone. I want to be wanted not to force myself on someone who doesn't want me." I almost want to wrap my arms around him and hold him. He looks so truly hurt. And I caused it. Good job Katniss. It seems that's all you're capable of doing. Hurting people. "Katniss, I'm going to continue to make my rounds. Can we please forget last night's incident never happened?"  
"Already done Peeta." Opps. It just slipped out. He was so easy to be with, like a friend and not a monarch. I do see him quirk a small smile though.  
"Anyone in here you recommend I go to see next?" I scan the room quickly to ensure that my plan will still work. I nod in the direction he needs to go.  
"The red head, Annie Cresta, District Four. She's a very sweet girl. And the blonde. Delly Cartwright. She's actually from my district. She never wears a frown. Only smiles." He nods, pulling himself up from the floor.  
"Thank you Katniss." I nod and watch him walk off.

The attack lasted less than two hours. During that time, after Peeta had left me, Bannock had taken a fancy to me. I suppose it was because I had the audacity to make faces at him. When I was little and my mother was receiving patients, I tended to Prim. She was always an easy going kid, but when she was having a bad day, heaven help you. Sometimes the only way to get her to stop crying would be to pull a face at her. I laugh at the memory of Prim's smiles at me doing so. Bannock was so amused with my making faces at him, that he'd tried to make a few back at me. Naturally, I was the master, but he did manage to get a couple of chuckles out of me. As I push open the door to my room I am happy to see my prep team and maid waiting for me. What I don't except to see is Octavia shaking up a storm. Flavius and Vena are trying to get her to calm down but with no such luck.  
"Pa-pa-please don't tell." She shakes out.  
"What's wrong? And I'm not going to tell a soul." She is shaking and rocking and will not speak. Instead I look to Vena, Lavinia, and Flavius. "Let's get on the bed, let her rest." The four of us move her to my bed and soon her eyes drift shut. I turn and look at the trio before me.  
"A year or two ago, the south managed to steal some uniforms from the guards. They came in and no one was able to tell who was with Panem and who was a rebel. Well…. We figure they didn't have much in terms of company because one got a hold of Octavia as she was making her way for a safe room. He was pulling at her when a guard came around the corner and shot him. Right in the head. But the guard kept moving and Octavia was pinned. We found her a couple of hours later, drenched in blood. They took her to the medical wing and treated her for her cuts and bruises but not for what she went through. Any attack and she turns into this. She'll be alright in an hour or two. Please don't tell anyone. If they found out, she'd be removed." Vena tells me the tale.  
"What? No. I'm not saying anything. Let's just make sure she is alright." I spend the rest of that day in my room. I don't come out for meals. Peeta had sent word that I was safe, but I still only picked at my food. The best part of the day came in the afternoon. Lavinia pulled open a cupboard that I hadn't noticed and turned a machine on. Music. The entire room was filled with music. It was the best moment ever.

The next few days, I stayed in my room. After Octavia's melt down, I just felt like I couldn't leave them. I had every intention of going down to the lounge the tributes sat in while nothing was going on and talking Peeta up but the day after the attack was so peaceful and happy for me and felt like something of home that I couldn't bring myself to leave. Instead, Lavinia, Octavia, and Flavius played cards with me. Vena kept shooting us angry looks, telling us it was inappropriate. By the third day hidden away in my room, Vena had given up trying to keep things in proper order and we'd opened the balcony doors wide along with the doors of the room. A couple of the girls had stopped in. Annie and Delly had come by to tell me that Peeta had asked them to see him. Delly came in the day before to tell me of the date she'd gone on with Peeta and Annie had been in that afternoon. I was flipping over a card onto the pile of recently picked up cards, playing an odd game called Egyptian Rat Screw, listening to the gossip of the palace from my group, when Lavinia tensed up and a shadow came through the doorway. I glanced up as Vena lunged for the cards and shoved them off the bed as if they were never there. I smile as Peeta leans against the door jam, hands shoved into his pockets. It had been a few days since I'd come out for any of my meals, so he seemed to have a different air about him than the last time I saw him. The group immediately stood up and Flavius smirked at Peeta. "We were um…."  
"Just going!" Octavia finished up.  
"Yes, we have to finish her dress for tomorrow!" Vena shoved the group out the door, Flavius bowing, while Vena, Lavinia, and Octavia curtsied and ran down the hallway. I could hear the giggles of Flavius, who loved a good love story, while Lavinia was hushing them.

"Well, they seem like a handful." Peeta stepped into my room, taking it in.  
"They certainly do keep me on my toes. Was there a reason you came here?" I was never one to make small talk, opting to get right to the point instead.  
"I was thinking, since we don't have the typical relationship that I have with the other tributes, that there has to be an easier way to see you. I didn't think this is what your room would look like. Doesn't seem like you." He kept walking around, looking at the items in the room. The book I'd brought from home and the picture I had of myself and Prim.  
"Well, they aren't really mine are they?" He gives me a quizzical look.  
"Then change them silly."  
"They still wouldn't be mine. Only on loan."  
"What's your room at your home like?"  
"You were saying something about communicating with each other?"  
"Yes, instead of sending invitations for dates, or messages through the guards and maids, we should come up with some kind of secret signal." I must agree with his line of thinking.  
"What, like pulling on our ears?" I ask sarcastically.  
"That actually is a good sign. I like it. Just give your ear a tug when you wish to see me and I'll come to you as soon as I can. Probably after dinner, but as soon as I can, I'll find you." And with that he was gone.

The next day felt almost like the day we had shown up to the palace. Everyone was in a state of excitement. Prep teams and stylists were running about our floor, calling out to each other. Most of the afternoon I was at the hands of Vena, Flavius, and Octavia. Later on Cinna came by and helped me dress in his newest creation. It was a long evening dress with a sweetheart top and would have been strapless if not for the sheer shimmery fabric that went over my shoulders. The dress was extremely form fitting. The back of the dress trailed after me. It looked the color of smoke. The edging of the top of the dress dripped in reds but turned over to black like smoke. It wasn't really black though. It was purple so dark that it looked black. Then I was put into the most strappy and highest heels I'd ever seen. Tonight was going to be a struggle for me.

When I finally made it down to where they shot the reports for the country, I was greeted by Effie. She promptly informed me to take a seat on the risers they had set up for us but that the front row had already been claimed by some of the tributes. I was perfectly content with that. I struggled up the stairs of the risers to the very back row and sat down. Soon Annie and Delly joined me. I sat watching the commotion around me. Peeta was talking with his brothers, his arm rubbing the back of, I think Johanna. A few tributes over from us and in the front row, Harmony got vomited into a trashcan, the sudden commotion of Effie cleaning Harmony up and moving her into a different position caused Peeta to look over here. Instead of looking at Harmony I caught him looking at me. He stared at me a bit longer then tugged at his ear. I felt my face flush a bit but tugged my ear back.

It was difficult to sit through the show. Caesar was charismatic but I was still itching to move. The only perk was getting a glimpse at Madge Undersee. She was giving an update on the state of things involving the rebels in a different district. I knew she had become a bit of a political advisor since she was finished with her Hunger Games. Then suddenly Caesar cornered Peeta.  
"Now, a moment with the man of the hour. Next week we will be dedicating some of the show to getting to know our remaining tributes, but now a few questions for you." Peeta looked like he'd been sidelined. He was completely caught off guard and unprepared. I think he had mastered sleeping with his eyes opened. "So how are you enjoying your time with the ladies?"  
"Very much so."  
"Are they all as sweet and gentle as they seem."  
"For the most part." Oh no. He wasn't. Caesar questioned him to what he meant and Peeta elaborated. "Upon meeting one tribute for the very first time I was scolded harshly."  
"And she's still here with us?"  
"Of course. I don't intend to send her home any time soon either."

After dinner, I sent Lavinia away after telling Vena, Octavia, and Flavius that I wouldn't need them. I'd manage to get myself out of the dress or call them if I needed help. My room was empty save for myself. I took to lounging on the bed, not knowing how long it would take Peeta to come find me. Not long at all. I heard the knock on my door and stood up, teetering my way over and pulling the door opened.  
"Where is your maid?" Naturally, he'd take to scolding me first.  
"I send them all away every night after dinner. I can manage to get myself undressed."  
"Well, if you send them away, I may have to have a guard posted outside your door."  
"No! I don't want to be babysat."  
"But you wouldn't know."  
"I'd feel it." We reached the stairs after passing several gaping mouths, particularly that of Clove and Glimmer, it took me several attempts to get down the stairs. I end up slipping and Peeta embraces me, steadying me. We end up back in the garden. We end up sitting at the bench where we first met. "So the girls that had wanted to leave changed their minds I take it?"  
"Luckily."  
"Wouldn't that have made it easier for you in the long run?"  
"Maybe, but it didn't feel at all like that. I have to date, for the first time, in front of the entire country, all while trying to figure out how to work myself into what Gram and Rye did while my mother berates us, and even when I halfway manage to figure everything out, all I can do is think of you, the girls that is, and it's a vicious cycle. What if I can't find anyone to love me? At the end of this, what if I can't even find someone who could stomach me for the rest of our lives?" I think Peeta was waiting to break. I felt badly for him. How on earth could he think that no one there would love him? Delly seemed to worship the ground he walked on as it was. Annie seemed fond of him as well.  
"Peeta, I really do think you'll find love here. Annie and Delly are both very sweet. I feel like it will be one of them."  
"Sweet is good. But, eh. And I can tell you're here paying attention but what on earth are you looking for? Your eyes haven't stopped moving."  
"Cameras. People. I don't know."  
"It's just us. I promise. The guard is by the door." He points to the door and I see the dark skinned guard that had escorted me in. I felt myself relax realizing he'd kept his promise and kept this private.  
"Katniss, can I ask you something?"  
"Depends." I smirk at him.  
"You seem so sad. Why don't you want to go back home?"  
"It's complicated."  
"Then why don't you believe in love?"  
"My parents. They were a love story." I begin to tell him about the divide in District Twelve and how my parents met. How my mother ran away for the love that my father gave her. I tell them of the work my mother did and the work my father did. I discuss my sister and her hopes and dreams. "But when I was eleven, there was an accident at the mine. My father was killed. My mother…" I choke on my tears that are trying to fall. I did not speak to anyone about my father and the accident and the months that followed. "My mother basically cheeked out. She was a shell. She couldn't live without my father. She forgot she had two kids that needed her. Suddenly, it was up to me to take care of everyone. That was when I met my best friend. Together, we were able to scrap by. His father was killed in the same accident." It may have been an alternated version since I didn't feel like explaining that I'd known Gale from my first breath. "She's doing a bit better. She still has her bad days though. Then my best friend is mad at me. He wants me to be in love with him. But I don't. I can't. Love makes you weak. Instead, he went to the slag heap with another girl and then showed up at my send off with her." I think I heard Peeta mumble fuck under his breath, but when I told him what the slag heap was after his mumbling, he was furious.  
"WHAT!?' He shook his head violently. The tears had made their way down my cheeks. I'd held everything in for far too long. He pulls back from me and meets my eyes. "I promise, I won't send you home until the last possible moment. You'll be one of the final two. Unless you're ready to go home before that. I'm so sorry. I hate to see you hurt." He enveloped me in his arms and I nestled in. I never thought I'd find comfort there. Little did I know there was much I still had to realize.

Chapter 11

The next couple of days pass by with me having multiple dates a day. I don't get to see Katniss, except for at meal times. I've sent home Amandla home for slapping Rose. It pained me to have to do that. After my date with Amandla, I knew she wouldn't hurt a fly. I wondered what had set her off to slap Rose. I wish I was able to overlook the rules. But each tribute did sign the contract, stating they would not physically assault one another.

The day after I sent Amandla home, I was required to do a photo shoot with the tributes. They were all in matching cream downs with heavy red sashes, while I had donned my formal attire of the a red button down military coat, metals littering the front of it, my formal cream tight suit pants, tall black boots and a sword dangling at my hip. I was excited to get to interact with Katniss again. I'd missed wondering what she would do next. She seems to hate the spotlight. Instead I pull her back towards my chest, securing her waist and then tickle her. The game goes on between us for our shoot. The photographer that Claudius had brought in even had us do a few more portraits. I knew I'd be asking for those pictures, regardless of how they turned out. Hearing her laughter was magical, almost like music to my ears. I'm sure if I practiced in drugs, she would be my fix. In the midst of our shoot, Leeland waved at me. I nodded at him to come over and knew he had news. I informed Leeland that it was alright for Katniss to hear anything and he told me that there was another attack, this time on District Ten. This was the south that had attacked and they'd left death in their wake.  
"What does my mother and brothers want to do?" I asked Leeland. There had to be a catch somewhere.  
"Your mother is requesting that you deal with it." I exhale. Rye is much better at the military shit than I am but, I must.  
"Reroute peacekeepers from District Eight to District Ten to help. We also need to cut them off, so as soon as the cleanup is done, have the peacekeepers move back to District Nine." Leeland nodded at me and left. "Please don't tell anyone about what you heard Katniss." She nodded to me and I squeezed her hand for the remaining for shots, clinging to her as if she was my lifeline in a storm. She didn't hesitate to squeeze my own hand back. After Katniss came Harmony and I made arrangements for her to meet with me in the early afternoon the next day. Harmony was sent home before dinner.

It was a lazy Monday now. Meeting after meeting. I hated that Rye didn't have to sit through finical meetings like Gram and I did. They were terrible. I was really looking forward to the afternoon tea being brought in. I needed the jolt to keep my eyes open and cease the drool that I knew was landing on the papers in front of me. Upon the maid's arrival with tea, the maid slipped me a note, while she began to work on preparing everyone's tea.

 _Majesty- I am tugging at my ear._

I was aware the tributes were getting mail today. I stood quickly, my heart ponding in my ears.  
"If you'll excuse me." I darted out of the room before anyone could refuse my request. I knew I looked like death warmed over. I did not look my usual put together self. I had left my suit coat on the back of my chair and had rolled my sleeves to my elbows and somewhere in the morning I had pulled open the top few buttons of my white shirt and had loosened my tie. I had pulled my hair so many times in the morning in order to stay awake that I'm sure my hair stood on end. But then I saw Katniss, staring at one of the old family portraits my mother kept out for show. I rushed over to her and grabbed her to me, hugging her quickly then pulling her back, still holding onto her forearms.  
"What's wrong?" I was looking for something broken, something bleeding. Anything.  
"Nothing."  
"Oh god, when I got your note I thought the worse. I thought you were sick or something had happened to your family."  
"Oh no! Peeta, I'm sorry. No. I just wanted to see you."  
"Why?"  
"Because I wanted to see you." Realization tumbled over me.  
"You wanted to just see me?" I knew I had a goofy grin plastered on my face.  
"Well I haven't had a chance to see you lately. But I've interrupted your work. Shoo. Go back to it." Katniss tried to shoo me away as if I was a cat looking to be petted.  
"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay for a bit. I was in a finical meeting and I can't stand them."  
"It's kind of you to hear that there are things about the job you despise."  
"And you use the correct word. Johanna really wants more money to go into the education system and Cornelius won't move an inch by cutting any of the other committees that would do perfectly well with a bit less. It's an annoyingly tedious task that makes me want to find a ledge. And all of this to help cut down on crime."  
"Honestly, I don't think just educating people better will cut down on crime." I stare at her. Why on earth wouldn't it? I fully agreed with Johanna, that the more educated a person was, the less likely to commit a crime.  
"And why not?"  
"Have you ever been so desperate? If you knew that taking something from those who had more than you would ever see in your life time in just one day?"  
"Stealing is stealing Katniss."  
"Close your eyes Peeta." I quirked my eyebrow at her. "Just do it." I did as I was instructed, focusing on the sound of her voice. "Now Peeta, imagine the face of the person you love the most, perhaps your wife. You may or may not see her face, but you can still feel the love you have for her." Katniss didn't know that I already had a face pictured. "You love her, and she needs you to care for her, make her feel like she is the only one in the world, protect her, provide for her, yet, you two are starving. You can't even close your eyes at night because the sounds of your stomach are so loud and the pain is so overpowering. Wouldn't you-"  
"Stop!" My eyes shoot open and she seems shocked. "Is it really like that out there? Am I really that blind to what is happening in my own country."  
"I know a family where one of the children was beaten for stealing food. He was barely nine." She tells me of her best friend's youngest brother, Vick. He'd been so hungry he'd stolen rotten food. She had said that winter had been harsh on everyone in the district that year, even those who were able to eat regularly.  
"Has it ever been that bad for you?" I ask her. When she doesn't answer I know it to be true.  
"Tell me." I beg of her.  
"Oh Peeta," she sighs. "It will only upset you more."  
"Probably, but I want to know what is happening." She gets this far off look in her eyes.  
"Usually, I find a way to make do, but the first winter after my father died, was particularly horrible. We weren't able to eat nor was I able to get any coal or wood to make a fire. We dressed in every piece of clothing we owned just trying to stay warm while watching our breath, sitting in bed. There is never enough in the house. I usually end up giving my share to Prim." Peeta stood up and glared at the wall.  
"You weren't kidding when you said you were for the food." I said under my breath. I was hoping she was just kidding but it was clear she was far from it. It broke my heart to hear her speaking this way. Knowing that she put herself second for her little sister in everything including food. I had thought her to be too skinny and wanted to protect her from the moment I saw her, but I studied her a bit more as I turned around towards her. She had put weight on while here. But it made me wonder how much her sister had lost while she was here.  
"Don't worry Peeta. The money is seriously helping my family. We'll be able to make that go a long ways and I know Prim is eating well." She can read my mind. I don't know why I suddenly feel compelled to, but I need to fix her problem. I think I have the solution popping about in my brain. I quickly embrace her and place a soft kiss on her forehead.  
"I have to go. I'll see you at dinner." And with that I leave her standing there with my idea beginning to form.

I am very late to dinner. I know it. The advisors and Gram and Mother were all whiny about being hungry. But I was so excited. As Gram and I talked animatedly about my plan my mother ignored us. She wasn't happy. Adele and Bannock were already in their chairs and Ban looked happy to see us. He instantly began running towards Gram on his chubby toddler legs. I could already see a remint of dinner on his pant leg. We really need to stop putting toddlers in suits in this place. Johanna and Rye were there as well. Johanna was glaring. I'm assuming she had another horrible day. Rye looked like he wanted to fall asleep in his food. I'd actually pay Johanna to shove his face in it if I could. Everyone sat and we realized the tributes were all standing up for us.  
"Sit." My mother screeched at them. I really hoped that whoever I did end up with could tolerate her. I remain standing.  
"Ladies. I have an announcement to make. Anyone who is from District Seven or higher will be losing their compensation, while those from District Eight and lower shall still receive something, but not as much. I will explain when we have the weekly show." With that I sat down and began to eat.

The next few days, Gram and I solidified our plan. I also speed dated away. It was exhausting. The only few people I really wanted to see I was unable to. I managed to send another couple of tributes home. Elizabeth Wiress seemed completely unstable after the attack on the palace. She seemed to be completely uncomfortable here and I thought it best to let her go home. She couldn't be herself and I couldn't hold her with that.

The day of the weekly televised update came and Gram and I had everything down to a tee. I was excited to make the announcement to Panem. I took extra time to dress that evening as I would be address Panem alone, for the first time ever, with something I'd come up with. A dark charcoal grey suit, dark grey shirt, and red tie with the emblem of the country pinned to my jacket and dark dress tie shoes completed my look. I was excited to see the tributes. Tonight, they would be interviewed and maybe I'd be able to understand more about them, be able to see something more.

Katniss was the one who stood out. Her dress was soft yellows and oranges, blending together to be like the singular flame from a candle. It hugged her figure and then puffed out a bit at her waist. She had my favorite shade of orange in the dress. I loved it. My favorite color. Her hair was tucked into a side low bun. She caught my eye for a moment and I smiled at her. I didn't get a chance to tug my ear. I saw her look down at her hands in her lap, a blush taking over her cheeks.

I stood after the anthem played and made my way to the center of the room with a microphone and smiled at the camera. "Good evening Panem. Tonight, I know you've all tuned in to see our tributes but firstly I do have an announcement. Meeting these wonderful tributes has opened my eyes to different walks of life here in Panem. It has come to my attention that some of the lower districts struggle to get by with even the most simple items that I have taken for grantee here in the Capitol, a large one being food. These tributes before have given up either all or some of their compensation in order to help get this program off the ground. We are opening food banks in every district. Anyone struggling and in need of food, can go in and receive a healthy meal any day of the week. Now, it will take about three months to get this program fully operational and it will be out of the justice buildings. This program is completely free and as a result, I'm still not sure how long it will be able to continue, but those of us who don't have to worry about such things, it would be wonderful to give back. Thank you and here is Claudius and Caesar to continue on with this evening."

I sat back down and watched Claudius and Caesar take over for the evening. I watched the tributes being interviewed. The ladies all said that they were enjoying their time here. All were being asked if they were the one who had scolded me and if they'd kissed me yet. I hadn't kissed any of the tributes yet. None of them. In fact, my first kiss ever had been stolen from me by the French princess when we were ten. I'd cried. I hadn't kissed anyone since. And let's face it, that ten year old kiss doesn't count. We had zero experience and she'd basically grabbed my face, spoken something very quickly to me in French, which I was still learning, and slobbered one on me. I've never let Diana forget that moment. Then Katniss was called up. She was the last one to be interviewed. By process of elimination, it would have to be her that scolded me, regardless of it being true, unless they thought I'd sent her home. I looked at her as she took her seat and looked past the hosts to me. She answered question after question. I could tell she'd been crying. I wonder if she liked what she'd inspired me to do. I never wanted her to go hungry again. Then Caesar asked her.  
"Was it you that scolded our prince here?"  
"Yes. It was me." I couldn't hold my laughter in anymore.  
"Get her to tell you the entire story!" I chime out. She rolled her eyes at me and began to explain that she was feeling trapped and struggling to breath and that I'd let her out into the gardens and then out of anxiety began scolding me and calling me stuck up and stupid. Rye whispered to me that I had to keep her. Then she let it slip. She called me Peeta. Not Prince Peeta or Majesty. I found it endearing even though there was a collected gasp through the room. It made me realize she could think of me as just Peeta and not Prince Peeta. Then they asked her what she thought of me. I needed to know.  
"Peeta Mellark is all good. A month ago, I would have said something insanely different. But he thinks of everyone but himself. He will be a great ruler. And when, and if I go, I will continue to be his loyal subject."

Dinner was good as usual, but I just wanted it to be over. Bannock begged me to put him to bed that night. I really just wanted to go and talk to Katniss, but Adele had given up and Gram begged me as well. I caved. It was closer to ten by the time I'd knocked on her door. She opened it and my concern for her went up again. There was no one with her. She needed someone there to help her. What if an attack had happened in the middle of the night and she didn't know where to go? No. Don't think about that right now. Instead I walked in, smiling at her. She was still in the dress she had worn. I also noticed a small bruise in the shape of nails on her arm. I also could see one the straps on her gown looked wrong. She'd been the only one in a dress that wasn't a shade of blue. I wondered what the rest of the tributes were up to but when I'd saw Katniss, I didn't care.  
"You know, you're very distracting. You look beautiful. But what is this?" I touch her arm. She pulls away shrugging at me and we go out on the balcony. I perch myself on the ledge as she leans and looks at me. I slowly bent towards her and placed a soft quick kiss on her lips.  
"What….Why?"  
"I um… I'm sorry. You're the first person I've kissed. Was it horrible? I just thought the last few days had changed things between us. I'm sorry." I felt her rub my forehead as I was sliding off the rail. "What are you doing?"  
"Re-do." And she reached up and cradled my cheek. She shocked me so I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me and our lips met. Her lips were so soft and I wanted to stay like this forever.  
"Katniss, I know you don't believe in love, but is there anyway, maybe, someday, that could change?" She seemed to think long and hard about this. I was on pins and needles waiting for her response.  
"Maybe…..Someday." I kissed her hard again and realized I wanted to be everything for her. I'd be walking on cloud nine for weeks.

In the weeks that came and went in the palace, I felt a shift between Katniss and myself. I enjoyed spending time with her and any chance I could spend time with her, I'd try. But she'd also told me that she wasn't sure she ever really could truly love, so I found myself spending time with Delly as well as Rose and Annie. Adele liked Rose and wanted me to pick her overall. Johanna adored Katniss. I'm not sure what had happened between the two of them, but Johanna sang her praise. Madge had also taken to stopping by more often to visit Katniss. It was good to see the two of them out walking around the grounds. Madge looked better as well. Since Rye's games, she'd seemed to be lost. She never wanted to be with Rye, she'd told me as much. She'd mentioned that she'd had a crush on someone back home. But she changed from a smiling girl to a lost soul and with Katniss, it was like I was able to see the real Madge. I was also able to see something of the real Katniss. I'd see Johanna join the two of them sometimes. For some odd reason, the sweet mannered Madge and crass Johanna had taken to each other. I was glad they were able to maintain their friendship and now included Katniss.

I was spending time with Glimmer one afternoon when I felt the urge to kiss her. I wanted to see if I felt what I had when I had kissed Katniss. After our first few shaky kisses that were sweet and tender, Katniss had pulled back and asked me to let her figure things out. At least she was being honest with me. That week I kissed Glimmer and felt nothing, I began an experiment with the rest of the tributes. I kissed nearly all of them to see if I felt what I had felt. I didn't. The only one that came close was Delly and even that felt like kissing a friend. But I knew I had to see who else I could tolerate if Katniss chose to leave. I didn't want to think about that though. I hoped Katniss wouldn't ask to leave. I did notice a shift in Katniss that week. I attributed it to my Dad's little sister coming to visit from one of the European countries to her distant behavior.

On the last Saturday that my aunt, uncle, and cousins were in town, a grand picnic was held in the gardens on the grounds. I ran around with a camera my aunt had brought for me as a late birthday gift, taking photographs of my cousins and tributes, happily laughing as my younger cousins chased me and held onto my legs. I loved kids. I was an absolute sucker for them. I'd always wanted a younger sibling. Mother had given up all hope of ever getting a girl and stopped trying I guess. I ran near a bench, well, it was my bench; I'd never think of that bench the same way after the first evening I'd met Katniss. She was sitting there in a pale peach day dress but with a look of sadness on her face. I shoved my little cousins off for a moment, telling them to go and get Bannock and crept up, holding my camera, poised to strike.  
"Smile!" I exclaimed, clearly startling her, which was odd sense she was constantly telling me I walked like a small elephant. She looked hurt. I hated seeing her like this. How could I fix this?  
"Katniss…." I sat down on the bench next to her. "Are you alright?" She didn't say anything but shrugged her shoulders at me. "If you need me I can be tugging at my ear right now." I tried to make her smile. It didn't work. "Please Katniss….Tell me what's wrong." I take her hand in mine. Why did I never realize how tiny her hands were? She looks on the verge of telling me but Clove calls to me.  
"You should go. You're busy." She stood and walked away and inside. I stood and went to talk to Clove. One of my cousins interrupted and I, gratefully, left Clove and went and chased them. It was when Katniss came back, I ceased playing and walked with her a bit. Her mood had been lifted and I'm not sure why, but now that she's smiling again, I'm happy and will do anything to keep her smiling.

I was able to do that a few days later, when I decided to take her down into the theatre of the palace. She'd told me she'd never seen a movie before. I knew I had to change that. On the way downstairs, we ran into a group of new guards. I heard a gasp from one of the guards and felt Katniss stop in her tracks. I turned and looked. "Katniss…Do you know this guard?" He was tall, olive skin, more black than grey eyes, but looked as if he could be her cousin. He was gaping at her, which gave it away that he was the one who had gasped.  
"He's from my District." Katniss said, keeping her tone even. I felt herself hide behind a wall she had built up that I'd slowly been breaking down. I nodded and an idea came to me.  
"That's wonderful." I turned and read the tag on the man's chest. "Hawthorne. It seems your district's tributes hates following protocol and will not let her maid sleep in her room, but sends her to her own rooms to sleep." Something flickered behind his eyes.  
"Sounds about right your Majesty." I nodded.  
"I'll have to put you into rotation and have you start watching her doors as well as Thresh and Finnick. I'm sure they'll be happy to add another person into the rotation." He smiles and nods.

The days continue to pass. Delly had told me it was her birthday and I couldn't help wanting to give the girl that was always smiling something. I planned her a birthday party for her, requesting all the tributes remaining to attend. Of course there wouldn't be any gifts, but I could still get her something. I knew she loved yellow and found her a very lovely yellow cardigan. What I wasn't expecting was Katniss singing. She was singing a song that I didn't recognize at all. I guessed it was something from District Twelve. Her voice made me stop and listen to see if the birds were listening to her as intently as I was. They were. When she opened her eyes, she connected with mine and I smiled. "Majesty." She said softly. I nodded and everyone turned. It was a sudden cry of alarm from Delly had shocked me back to the other girls. Delly's dress was ruined, and Rose held a glass of wine that was empty pleading that she turned to look too quickly and lost her balance. Delly had fled from the room mortified and I followed. Really I much rather would have been with Katniss but this was supposed to be about Delly.

Later that evening, when I was finally able to see Katniss, she began to push me about Rose.  
"She's no good! She's playing games!" I wouldn't hear it. Instead, I left Katniss sitting on the bench, claiming that if she'd rather talk about Rose then I'd find someone I'd rather spend time with. We didn't talk for days.

Chapter 12

I couldn't understand why Peeta wouldn't listen to me about Rose. I've been busy avoiding Gale and now Peeta won't listen to me about Rose. Rose had it out for us. She was interested in the crown and not Peeta. I couldn't allow that to happen to Peeta, regardless of how I felt. I hated to admit it, but I was feeling more and more at ease with him. I wondered what it meant. I wish I had my mother to talk to. Instead, I have Gale. Peeta was true to his word and two days after running into him, he was stationed outside my door as I slept every few nights. He'd barged in on his first night, apologizing for being an ass to me. I'd been hurt by him, thinking my friend couldn't have sunk that low and we'd been cordially talking again when he'd come wake me up from my sleep.

The first night Gale had been put on my detail, I didn't even realize it until about three in the morning, when I was shaken away. "Catnip." He whispered so I wouldn't be frightened. Secretly I was grateful. It was so close to watching our fathers being killed in my nightmares. I was missing Prim desperately as well. I needed her in bed, helping to calm and talk me through the night terrors. Most mornings, I looked like death warmed over and Octavia and Vena had a time hiding the circles under my eyes, that seemed to be growing at an alarming rate.  
"Gale?" I whispered back. "What are you doing in here?" I felt the bed shift and my torso being embraced.  
"I've missed you Catnip." That still didn't answer my question. Gale's eyes must have been better adjusted to the light than mine because I glared without thinking and responded. "I wanted to talk to you."  
"What would you like to say?" Gale and I both had tempers and stubborn streaks that could wage wars. I knew I was never going to make this easy.  
"I'm sorry for being an ass Catnip. I know you don't love me as anything but a brother. I'm sorry I tried to push things on you. It's been killing me to watch you. Knowing that maybe you really do want what your parents had but with someone else. I just always thought it'd be you and me against everything."  
"Gale…"  
"Not finished yet Katniss." That shocked me. He rarely ever called me Katniss. "When I ran off that night, I was mad. I knew you'd go and break this guy's heart and all for money. And I knew showing up with the girl I'd taken to the slag heap only hours before to your sendoff would make you furious. So I did it. When I got drafted, I wanted to so badly to make everything right. And now I'm going to. I love you Catnip. You and Prim are my little sisters."  
"So then how did you end up here?" He knew by my smirk and my comment all was forgiven. As long as he realized I could never be _that_ girl for him, everything would always be ok.  
"They take us to this place where we're all fed for once and examined. They gave us a bunch of injections too. Then we were all tested. I scored really well. The highest in the draft round actually." He smiled proudly at that. I could see now that my eyes had adjusted to the soft light slinking in from the door that was left ajar that his body had changed; still lanky but more solidly built. "They trained us and I was posted here. I didn't want to write you. I was afraid you'd just throw it away without opening it. But then when I saw you, I knew I had to make things right. I did make a mess of them and I'm so sorry."  
"Gale, its ok. As long as you're safe."  
"I've got to go back to my post Catnip. I'll talk to you later."

Peeta and I not talking has me walking around with my stomach in knots nearly all the time. I can barely eat and I do see Peeta watching me at meals. I can't help it though. I feel as if I was to eat, everything would come right back up and then that would be a complete waste of food. I am taking to bed earlier every night and tonight is no different. I'm in the midst of a fitful dream when I hear Lavinia telling me I have to wake up. I sit up startled. At first, I don't remember where I am. It's like this every time I wake from a nightmare. This time however, I never got to watch my father blow up.  
"They're inside. We've got to take you to safety." Flavius speaks from behind Lavinia. What are Cinna's team doing in here? Lavinia is pulling me up by my hands, dragging me to the edge of the bed, while Octavia stuffs my feet into my shoes and Vena sticks one arm into a thin silk robe that hides my silk nightie.  
"Now just keep following the passageway." They've drug me down the hall to an opened passageway that I didn't even know was there.  
"What about you?" I ask my friends.  
"We have our own place to go." Vena informs me, trying to shove me down the stairs.  
"No. I refuse to go without you."  
"If we show up there, they'll turn us away. We'll be ok." Vena says again. I notice Octavia is shaking. I grab her and shove her into the passageway and Vena realizes she's been beaten. I won't go without them. They are completely harmless but depending on what rebel group has broken through, the rebels won't know that. Vena, Flavius, Octavia, and Lavinia walk in front of me. I'm so unfocused I slip and fall against the wall. I feel a stinging sensation on my cheek but keep moving.

When we reach a door that has a guard, the guard tries to stop my group. "Thank you for delivering her but you may go now." I couldn't believe it. What made me any better than Lavinia, Octavia, Flavius, or Vena? Nothing. In my opinion, as shallow as they could be, sometimes I thought they were better than me. They always seemed to know when I needed extra care or just to hide away from the world. The group is turning to leave, and Octavia looks like she is about to faint, but would rather do that than face the wrap of the guard.  
"No!" I yell marching up to the guard I recognize as Cato. He already hates me so I don't mind further pissing him off. "If they don't get to come in than I won't come in." He raises an eyebrow as if to ask why that would bother him. Until he remembers that I am part of the Hunger Games. I start to sit right outside in the hallway.  
"For fuck's sake, let them in." I hear Peeta. I don't know why but that coming from my sweet gentle Peeta, I want to kiss him.  
"Please….." I say softly and Cato sighs, exasperated with me and lets my group in. We make our way to the back but Effie spots Lavinia.  
"Oh thank goodness someone decided to send a maid. Get the water storages out and start serving." What the fuck? No. They were just as good as us.  
"No!" I barked. "No. Please get some for the royal family then come and sit down with us Lavinia. The rest should have thought about leaving their maids to fend for themselves." I storm off to the back of this cave like structure that is meant to protect us. I see Gale come in and feel relief. As much as I am still annoyed with Gale, I don't wish any harm to come to him. His family wouldn't survive. And he still is my friend. I feel Octavia sit down and shake harder next to me. Flavius sits on her other side and Vena next to Flavius. After getting water for the royal family, Lavinia comes back and sits next to Vena. Octavia drifts in and out but Vena, Flavius and Lavinia are out as soon as they sit. I look at the state of the people in this place. Most are advisors. They are all still dressed, along with the royal family, all but Bannock. They must have been in some sort of meeting. I notice Peeta is in a red button up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, no tie or jacket but charcoal grey slacks. He looks handsome, I will give him that.

I see that Annie is near one of the guards, I think Finnick. It almost makes me wonder about her. The last time I'd really talked to Annie she admitted she was confused and not sure she actually liked Peeta the way someone in our position ought to. I'd also seen her near this guard frequently, but figured, because she was a favorite of the people, Peeta had requested someone keep tabs on her like he had for me. I take to staring at the ground, wondering about Cinna. Was he safely tucked away somewhere? Were these rebels from the north or from the south? What kind of destruction was happening outside? The room was quiet and Gale came over to me for a moment.  
"Catnip? You ok?" I looked up at him and nodded. I was ok given the situation that I knew. Cato called Gale over before Gale really got a moment to talk to me and I went back to staring at a spot on the wall. I didn't even notice Peeta was kneeling beside me until I felt a sting. I hissed a breath in.  
"We'll need to get you cleaned up Katniss." I shook my head.  
"I'll be fine. I've had much worse." I probably shouldn't have said that seeing he looks pained.  
"We'll have to find ice or something cool to put on your eye then. It's swelling." I hadn't even noticed. I shrug again. "Are you ok?" I nod. Realizing I'm not going to be one to talk to, he stands to leave.  
"North or south?" I ask, grabbing his hand as he had moved to stand up.  
"South. But get some rest."

I'm not sure how long we were down there, but I know I was nearly frozen when we were allowed to finally leave. Whoever stocked the room clearly did not think of the influx of people due to the Hunger Games. There wasn't enough blankets and I was surrounded by people, I did not fight for a blanket like a lot of the ladies had. They had warned us a lot of damage had been done. Effie had come by with a phone for all of us to call our families on. I didn't have a phone at home. Instead, Delly was requested to tell her family we were both ok and to have someone sent to my house. What I would have given to hear Prim. Instead, I took in my room. Everything had been made a mess of. All of us had had to take the back way to get back to the rooms. Apparently there had been a substantial amount of injuries. I sent everyone to bed and began righting my room. The pictures I had had been torn and Vena had seen to have tape sent up to me and I began trying to piece everything back together again. I cried while doing so. I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast, Peeta looked like he was just pushing his food around. I admit, I was doing the same thing. But Peeta stood up and asked for attention.  
"In light of recent events, I can't allow you ladies to stay here and risk your lives if I feel like I don't have a connection with you. I am moving the Games down to the next stage, however, instead of eight ladies, I'm moving it to six. If I do not call your name, arrangements for you to be sent home will happen within the day. We will have you on your ways by tomorrow morning at the latest. Those staying are Rose Snow, Glimmer Andrews, Clove Callahan, Annie Cresta, Delly Cartwright, and Katniss Everdeen. I shall be in my office if any of you wish to speak to me. Thank you." With that he stood and left, leaving the rest of us speechless.

That evening, Peeta stopped by my room. I hadn't been feeling well at all. I'd been curled up in bed most of the day with a headache. I had looked at my face and realized I'd scraped the side of my left face and had a bruise radiating around my eye. I must have fallen harder than I had thought and because of the adrenal running through my system felt fine. I know I was looking pale as well. I had been ill after breakfast. I had Lavinia watching me for a concussion, but I really did attribute it to nerves. I had realized this morning, while Peeta was dismissing the field that I didn't want to go, not because the money was a blessing for Prim, but because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Peeta and really did want to see where this was going with us. A soft knock and instead of waiting for a response, Peeta walked in.  
"Katniss." He stood, hair disheveled, eyes exhausted, and hands stuffed into his pocket. I slowly sat up and nodded at him. He shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed after shutting the door and making his way over to me. He brushed his fingers over my cheek. "Are you ok? I heard you haven't been well."  
"I thought I was going to be sent away." He looked at me like I was headless.  
"Why? I shouldn't have scolded you. I just wanted to be heard. Everyone expects me to form things with this marriage, but I want love. But you know how I feel. Maybe I haven't told you well enough, so I'm going to now. If I knew you were here just for me, this would already be over with. Until then, I can't act like you'll agree to stay here. I think I've loved you since I first saw you at the Reaping. But until I know we both want the same thing, I have act like you're only here for the money. I hope it's not the case and that we can be something more." With that I lean in and kiss him. I've never been good at talking, hopefully he can feel how much I truly do care about him in that kiss. He leans in and kisses me harder. He lays down next to me, pulling me to his chest and I feel him wrap his arm around my, kissing the top of my head, while I nuzzle into him. I honestly do think I will be able to love him. I honestly think I can love.

Chapter 13

I hadn't meant to fall asleep in Katniss's room. But I did. Luckily it was still a decent hour and wouldn't look crude of me to be seen leaving. I hadn't felt that rested in ages even though we'd maybe been asleep for only a couple of hours. I rubbed my fingers against her bare shoulder, causing her to let out a soft sigh and snuggle further into my chest.  
"Katniss." I whispered to her. "I have to leave."  
"No." She said sleepily. I think she was still trying to wake up. I kiss her forehead and she stirs again. She must realize where we are and she shoots up, startled. "I'm sorry." She mumbles out. I sit up next to her and nuzzle my nose into her neck.  
"It's alright. But I need to get back to my rooms before anyone thinks anything that hasn't happened, happened." She nodded and I excused myself.

A few more days passed before I was able to see Katniss again. Between work, now that we'd really been attacked by the more vicious rebels, Rye was in full on attack mode, and then dating the other girls, I'd had little time. I wish Katniss would just show me a hint that she cared. I'd end everything in a heartbeat if she could just say that she was here for me. I did promise to give her time though. I was excited to take her out tonight. I'd told her to make sure she slept in as we'd be going out late. I'd packed a picnic up, just cheese buns that I'd made; I knew they were her favorite after watching her attack them one morning. She practically eaten the entire basket alone. I'd also brought a blanket. Katniss still seemed at peace when she was outside in the gardens and still loved doing the simple things that I personally had never really stopped to do because of my lifestyle. I went to her room and knocked on her door. She threw it open with a large smile on her face. I wondered why since she always seemed so guarded with her feelings but shrugged it off. I could only hope it was because she was happy to see me.

I dragged her down to the garden and laid the blanket down and motioned for her to sit. Together we stare at the sky and the twinkling lights of the stars. I slid my fingers between hers and she positioned herself to rest her head on my chest. My other arm I'd thrown behind my head. I don't remember ever being this content in life. I eventually pulled my hand from hers and pulled her braid out and began to run my fingers through her hair. She seemed grateful for the gesture and responded by placing a kiss to my lips. We deepened our kisses and got lost in each other's mouths before a guard dragged us inside.

A few days later, one of my meetings ended early and I had time before the next one started. Rye had run to go see Johanna. This week on our weekly televised updates, they were announcing their pregnancy to the nation. Johanna, even though she was a princess now, stayed thinner and we were able to see a tiny tiny bump if we looked for it. Gram was going to go deal with Adele, who was having a bad pregnancy day herself and I didn't feel like sitting in the room with Cornelius and Mother and Haymitch and Leeland. They'd all just pressure me about which girl I wanted. I knew Haymitch and Leeland just wanted me to be happy and could care less, but Mother wanted a girl with a connection and would probably beat me senseless if I told her the truth. I would have no problem telling anyone as long as I was sure Katniss wanted me in the end. I decided I wanted to see Katniss, if only for a few moments. I made my way to her room and peaked around the open doors. She always had her balcony doors opened as long as the weather permitted. It was fall now and even though I thought it was chilly, clearly this was not the typical weather of District Twelve. Katniss was glaring at a budget report that Effie had given the tributes as homework to discuss what they were learning this week with Claudius and Caesar. She'd asked Flavius to figure the report out for her which in and of itself was funny. I don't think Flavius knew much beyond hair care. I made a face at Lavinia when I heard Katniss's request and she started giggling. I leaned against the door frame, waiting for Katniss to turn to see what was so funny. When she did she smiled brightly. I could still see the bruising around her eye and cheek but it had yellowed out and Octavia and Vena had done well covering it up. I still hated that she had gotten hurt during the attack.  
"Please tell me you're here to take me away from that!" She points to the report. I laugh.  
"I only have twenty minutes."  
"Well then." She tugs my hands and begins leading me towards the gardens. I wonder what she's like when she's at home; if she's outside every day. I lace my fingers in hers and my thumb rubs circles on the top of her hand. I feel a line and pull her hand to my line of sight and look.  
"What is this?"  
"At home, I do a lot of archery. Learning, I got myself a lot. It's just a scar." She chews on her lip. "Does it bother you?"  
"Never. I have seen the world, mostly behind bulletproofed glass, and I have all the answers at the tips of my fingers, but this scar makes me realize just how real you are. Some days I'm worried I'll wake up and you'll only have been a dream."  
"You really have access to all the answers?"  
"Ask away." She thinks long and hard, clearly trying to think of something she wants to know yet stumps me.  
"What's Halloween?"  
"Halloween?" I've never heard of it. I take her hand and lead her away from the garden entrance. "Let's go find out." I lead her up to a closed off tower. "Now you have to promise not to tell a soul. Only the royal family and a few guards know this room actually exists." She nods, still staring at the large picture I've stopped us in front of. I find the latch and lift it and picture moves and shows us a door. I punch in the code and help Katniss inside.  
"What is this place?"  
"Archives mostly. Those books with the red slashes have been banned so they actually might be the only ones left. But if there is anything to be found about this Halloween, it'll be here." I walk to the old computer that houses all the information about the books in this room. I punch in the word Halloween and it tells me that there are three books that will tell us what it is. I pull each book from the shelf and put it down on the small desk in the center of the room. I open the first one. It says something about Halloween being a Celtic festival with spirits passing the plans of the world of the dead to the world of the living. Basically the same in the second book, but saying that it had changed to be more of a children's holiday, where they dressed up and paraded around preforming for a treat. The third is in a diary of my ancestor. Katniss seems too intrigued with everything and I hate to cut her fun short.  
"Take it with you but it hide is away safely. These books aren't supposed to leave the room but you can't stay here without me and I'm late." Katniss places a small kiss to my cheek, looking like she might cry at the amount of trust I have just given her.

Chapter 14

It's only been a couple of days since Peeta gave me the diary. I'd hidden it a footstool that I had been keeping my plant book in as well as my hunting jacket. I'd wrapped it carefully within the hunting jacket's soft leather and then placed my family's book on top of it. Yet it was not the book that pulled me today, it was the conversation I'd just had with Annie. Annie had been teasing me as I tried to teach her to play a couple of scales. I managed to play a bit on the one in the school but I didn't play much at all. Annie had eluded that there was someone who could end this entire ordeal and I startled. I'd demanded to know who and she had just stared at me like I was an idiot. She'd recently told me she just didn't think of Peeta as the "one" of her life and was only still remaining because she was a favorite in Panem.  
"You Brainless!" I hear a new voice enter the room. Johanna Mason. Rye's wife. "You have the ability to end all of this."  
"Katniss, you can't be afraid to tell him that you care." Annie was right. I was terrified. Admitting I loved Peeta would make me weak. I'd watched my mother fall apart and I didn't know what would happen to me.  
"Where's Madge? She told me she'd be here with you." Johanna says stopping my thoughts. I hadn't seen Madge yet. I shrugged and instead we sat there talking. The update was going to be that night and I knew I needed to go prepare so while Johanna and Annie began conversing with each other I excused myself. "See you tonight Brainless!" I roll my eyes at Johanna's pet name for me, but leave the room. Now I found myself sitting and thinking about what Annie had said. I was afraid. I was terrified. I couldn't let that stop me could I? What would my father say if he was here? Would he approve of Peeta? I had a feeling he would have. Peeta treats me like I am the most precious thing in the world. But would my father want me to become a princess. I think that was the other thing that terrified me. I would give up my simple life in District Twelve for the grandeur of the palace and a life of politics I had no interest in. It was amazing to discover I could change things though. After telling Peeta of extreme hunger, he'd went and put an entire program in place. I could have that kind of power. I could give Prim everything she's ever wanted as well.

"Well if we just influx everything with this draft right now for the next few years again, we would be able to hit the rebels on both ends plus end this war with the New Asian territory." Rose probably had her grandfather help her prep. She was an idiot.  
"Excuse me Miss Snow, but I must disagree with you." I kept my voice calm and even. Effie would shoot me if I didn't.  
"And now why is that Miss Girl on Fire?" Caesar asked me. I smiled.  
"Oh Caesar." He chuckled at me.  
"What? You want this war to keep on going?" Rose bit back rather harshly at me. I hated her. She played her own game and was manipulative. If she liked something, it was my natural response to hate it. But I thought for a moment, figuring out my response without getting too heated.  
"Of course I want to see Panem at peace. But when the lower districts lose their sons, they are also losing a provider of their family. We tend to have larger families in the lower districts to make ends meets with more hands. They struggle when they lose a provider. What if the military was on a voluntary bases? I know District Two is responsible for training, but from what I understand from Miss Callahan, they are all trained in military like schools. Perhaps some of them would rather volunteer to go fight. It would be much easier to want to protect those in your brotherhood, if you knew they actually wanted to be there instead of just trying to get back home to what they left behind." The Queen was glaring daggers at me. Peeta and Rye looked impressed.  
"Oh! What if we allowed women to join as well?" Delly cheered out. Delly. Ever the optimistic one.

Back in my room that evening, Flavius was helping me to pull the pins he'd layered in my hair while Vena and Octavia told Lavinia everything she'd missed. Apparently Rose looked ready to kill me when I'd finished my little speech. I hadn't meant to make it a big deal, I just wanted to put Rose in her place. She'd been handed quite a bit in her life and didn't realize how much some of her ideals would devastate. There was a series of knocks at my door and Peeta waltzed in without waiting for a response.  
"I've had an idea!" I guess this was the tradition now. After the recording of the weekly updates to Panem and dinner, he'd come to find me. I liked the predictability of it, but I hadn't realized the late hour. Flavius was shocked at seeing Peeta just meander into my room and dropped the hairpins. Peeta bent down to help retrieve them. "Oh goodness. I'm sorry. Let me help." Flavius shook his head and I motioned for everyone to leave. I finished pulling the last hair pin out and Peeta put the bunch he'd picked up off the floor on the vanity top.  
"Peeta." I smiled at him. I ran my hands through my hair. He stared at me and I turned from the mirror and made my way over to him. "Your idea Majesty." I teased him.  
"Yes. This Halloween thing. All the books say it happened in October, correct?" I nod at him. "Well it's October. Let's celebrate it. We can make the announcement to Panem and the kids all over can participate. And we can have a party here! You guys can dress up and I'll make candies for you Katniss! And cheese buns." I knew he'd been making me treats. He'd told me he enjoyed baking and it was a way to distress from life. But the fact that he wanted to do this for me. "Don't you think Prim would love it?"  
"Prim would adore it. She'd be so excited."  
"Well, what do you think she'd say to celebrating here with us?" I had to have heard Peeta wrong. He knew I'd been missing my sister when he'd asked me why I looked so exhausted the other day and my reply was that it was always difficult for me to sleep without my sister.  
"You can't mean that Peeta." I say shocked.  
"I'm supposed to start meeting families of the tributes soon anyways, so why not bring your sister here? You guys can all dress up and wear costumes and she can eat until she can't eat another bite. Besides, this would give the siblings something to do."  
"But I thought it was usually just the parents that came out." He shrugged at my response.  
"What's adding a few more people if it means you get to see your sister? Besides, I'd really love to meet her." I don't think he was expecting me to launch myself at him. But I did. He hugged me tightly as I held him as tightly to me as I could.  
"Thank you." Before I knew it I was kissing him deeply. Most nights when Peeta kisses me, I can block out Rose, Clove, Glimmer, Annie, and Delly, but tonight an image of him kissing one of the other tributes came to my mind. Someone else making him laugh. Someone else marrying him. I began to cry.  
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He'd broken the kiss and pulled back from me a bit, wiping at my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, cradling my head in his hands.  
"I don't want to leave you." I whimper out.  
"I thought you described this palace as a cage. Don't tell me it grew on you." I didn't want to joke with him like we normally did.  
"No. I don't want to leave you because I…." I began to shake. I was not good at expressing my feelings nor sharing my feelings. I'd become so closed off since my father's death that telling someone that I cared for them was a huge deal. I rarely said it to Prim. Instead, Prim was able to see it through my actions.  
"Shhh. Katniss. It's ok." Peeta held me rocking us gently. "It's ok. I know." I pulled my face from its buried place in his shirt and looked at him. Our lips met and I felt like I could very well do this for the rest of my life. He moved us over to the bed, his hands on my hips. As he sat down, he pulled me with him on the bed and lay himself over me. His hands began to explore my clothed body, while my hands tugged up the hem of his dress shirt and crept under his shirt to his undershirt. I felt Peeta shift above me and felt something poke at me.

Peeta managed to pull the top of my dress down and was caressing my breasts through the lace bra that Cinna had put me in this evening. I had never felt anything like this before and I wanted him to continue. I sucked on his lower lip and heard him moan, feeling the vibration in my mouth. I loved that I had this kind of power over Peeta. But I also loved that he was able to do this to me. To command my body. I whimpered when he pulled away from my mouth, his hands leaving my laced chest.  
"I better go." I shake my head. I don't want him to. If he leaves, it breaks the spell we are under. He knows I do care for him. "I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart."

Chapter 15

I felt like I was living in a dream. A dream I didn't want to wake up from. I found myself seeing more of the other girls, giving them a fair chance in case Katniss took it back. I avoided her mostly. I didn't want to hear her take back our conversation and our heated kisses. Most nights, I ended up with my hand wrapped tightly around myself, pumping myself to completion in the shower, her name moaning from my lips. In between dating the other tributes, I took to planning this Halloween party with Johanna in addition to going in and out of meetings. Ever since the attack of the southern rebels on the palace, Rye had been dragging Gram and I into strategic meetings. He was thinking of a way to get out of Snow's thumb. We were beginning to discover that we had the backing of Haymitch, Leeland, Madge, and many other advisors, apparently not liking Snow's callous attitude when it came to dealing with the destructive southern rebels. Instead, Snow treated the disruptive northern rebels as if they were the ones killing hundreds of people. After dealing with all of that, Johanna was constantly pulling me aside, demanding my ideas for place settings and color schemes. I told her I'd seen pictures of pumpkins everywhere and knew that would be a requirement. Johanna insisted everything have a hint of gold to it. She claimed it would complement Katniss. She knew I had it bad. I had taken to talking to my sister-in-law about the tributes, in particular, Katniss Everdeen.  
"I'm not sure she really wants this life Jo." The tributes had been handed the task of narrowing down a menu for Johanna and I to approve. Currently Johanna and I were sitting at a large table talking and tasting.  
"Well it's very intimidating. You remember how much Rye had to prove to me that he would make everything as easy as possible for me. I never wanted to be a princess. Katniss and I come from the same stalk. She may be good at being a princess, but she doesn't think she'd be any good nor does she think she's worthy of it." I sighed at Johanna's words, pushing around the food on my plate.  
"What do you suggest Jo? I'm not sure how. I was born into this."  
"Well, Rye had flat out told me it was going to be me, whether or not I liked, and he gave me time to continue to get to know him." I thought hard on Johanna's words.  
"What if I showed her the suite and helped her find a place for her family?"  
"I think you're taking a step in the right direction. But you should probably stop avoiding her. She's spent the last few days in her room. I think her family coming tomorrow will be a big help too." I nodded and Johanna and I continued to narrow down the final menu for three days' time.

I had managed to get nearly all of my work done by late morning by working through the night. I was exhausted, but watching the girls waiting in the main hall for their families was invigorating. I was hidden behind a column on the staircase behind the tributes. I watched Katniss bouncing on the balls of her feet then heard Effie scold her behavior. I hoped that Katniss would always be like this. I didn't want her to change for the crown or for me. I loved her outlook on everything, so different from my own. I watched Glimmer break the line of tributes, darting forward when a lithe blonde woman and muscular blonde man walked through the door. I knew Glimmer was an only child but was surrounded by many cousins. I heard her squeal as she hopped into her father's arms. Annie followed suit, clinging and sobbing into her parents arms. I heard someone yell Dells and saw a blond boy who looked a couple of years older than Delly come into the room, followed by blond parents. Clove's family was very stiff and formal, but you could see her little brother itching to pounce. Rose acted like it wasn't a big deal at all to see her family but that's probably because she got to see her grandfather so often. It was hearing a small girl's voice yell "Katniss!" that had me. I watched a tiny blonde girl with pale blue eyes, hair in braids sprinting to Katniss. The two looked completely opposite each other, but when Katniss smiled, really smiled, I saw that her smile was similar to Prim's. Prim launched herself into Katniss's arms and Katniss fell back against the ground, clinging to her sister, crying. A woman I suspected was Katniss's mother followed behind shaking her head at the two but clearly wanting to join in the hugging. I watched Katniss throw an arm out and the woman join the hug. I walked down the stairs having watched how each tribute reacted. I heard Katniss crying, "You grew Prim! You grew!" clutching her sister's face in her hands, kissing her. I went to help the two stand. Prim stared at me with wide eyes and I instantly took to her. She'd make a great little sister. I didn't have one of those. With Johanna came a younger brother and Adele was an only child. A sister would be a good change of pace.  
"You must be Mrs. Everdeen and Miss Primrose Everdeen." I smile shaking her mother's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. If you give me just a moment, I have an announcement but I must continue with the introductions. Excuse me."

I went about to the other groups and made introductions. I won't lie and say that I knew who was who. I'd really only bothered to learn about Mrs. Everdeen and Prim because Mrs. Everdeen was so vital in learning about why Katniss didn't believe in love, and Prim was one of the most important things in Katniss's life. I watched Mrs. Everdeen speak cordially to Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright. It seemed a strained kind of conversation, however, from what I knew about Katniss's parents and the Merchant-Seam divide of District Twelve, Mrs. Everdeen had been disowned from her previous circles when she married Katniss's father. Katniss was stroking Prim's hair, the two still tightly entwined with each other. I walked to the steps and stood on the first one and cleared my throat.  
"In just a moment, a maid will arrive to show you to your rooms. Tomorrow night we will be holding the first Halloween party that has been seen in Panem in years. This afternoon, however, the ladies will be having tea with my sisters-in-laws. I do apologize that my mother, the Queen, will be unable to attend. The gentlemen will have cigars and brandy with my brothers and I. I am very happy to have you all here. Thank you." I linger a moment as maids step forward to gather their charges.  
"Mrs. Everdeen?" She turns to look at me. "I was wondering if I might be able to have a word with you this afternoon. " She nodded at me, smiling. "I will send someone for you and will have you back in time for tea." I heard Prim complaining that she didn't want to be separated from Katniss and Katniss caved, allowing Prim to stay with her. It was alright that I wouldn't be able to see much of Katniss or get carried away with her. I had plans for this weekend I needed to get through.

It was midafternoon when I saw Mrs. Everdeen step into one of the many parlors. I was hiding in the one next to the one I'd be using with my brothers for the event with the men.  
"Mrs. Everdeen." I bowed low and gracefully to her. When I stood back up, she seemed baffled that royalty would bow to her. "I know I haven't known you or your daughter long, but I would like to discuss something with you." She nodded. I think she knew exactly where I was going with this conversation, but she let me continue. I was nervous and having a time grasping for the right words. "Since the moment I saw your daughter, I was taken with her. I know I have a long way to go with her, but I would like your permission to eventually ask Katniss to marry me."  
"As long as you promise to put her first and to make her happy, I would be pleased."  
"I intend to let Katniss know what my intentions are tomorrow evening and I want to give her all the time I can and let her adjust to everything. I want to take things slow with her and though I know our situation isn't a normal one, I intend to be hers. She has my heart. I never want to see her frown."

The next evening, I am getting ready for the party. I have just hopped out of the shower and have laid my costume out; I have asked Portia to make me a baker; when there is a knock at my door. I toss on a pair of sweatpants with nothing underneath and didn't bother with a shirt but then pulled open my door. I'd dismissed my butler for the evening. I see a maid carrying a tray with an envelope on it. I recognize the neat script as Annie's hand. I pick up the letter and begin to read. She is asking if she can see me before the evening begins. She needs to talk to me. I sigh and tell the maid to have Annie brought to my study. I go in and beginning to glance at some papers, forgetting my state of dress. The soft knock at the door alters me to someone's presence and I beg them to enter.  
"What's wrong Annie?" She looks like she is shaking like a leaf. I feel sorry for her. She may be the people's favorite, and she is a sweet, sweet, girl, but I could not imagine life with her. I do care that she is upset.  
"May I speak bluntly Majesty?" I kinda thought it was an unwritten thing with me that anyone could. Katniss had a habit of yelling at me. I nod and let her continue. "I….. Peeta…..You are a good person. A kind person. You will be a wonderful king. I never doubted that and after having the chance to meet and get to know you, I know I was never wrong. It's just….. I am so sorry Peeta. But I don't think you are the _one_ for me. I honestly can't imagine spending my life with you."  
"Annie. I don't want to keep someone here against their will. It's ok. I'm grateful for your honesty." I am about to dismiss her when she stops me.  
"I don't want to leave though. I have fallen in love with Finnick Odair." I smile. Finnick, the dog. "Please, is there any way I can stay?"  
"Of course Annie. I'll figure something out. I hereby dismiss you from the Hunger Games. You are free of your tribute status." Annie looks relieved. "However, I have one request." She nods, ready to accept it. "Tonight, we act like everything is normal."  
"I can do that." I begin to pull her folder out from the pile of tributes sitting off to the side of my desk.  
"I just need you to sign and date that you acknowledge you are no longer a tribute in these Hunger Games." She quickly signs and I sign next to her name with the date. "I wish you well Annie. I'm so happy Finnick has found love. And that it's you."

I head back into my bed room. I was expected to make a cut after this weekend, so this way, I am able to take the extra time I need and want with Katniss, while figuring out a place for Annie, while we play it like nothing. I pull off the sweats I had been sitting in and pull out a fresh pair of briefs before sliding into the soft black pants. I tug on a blue chef's jacket and a long white apron. I rolled the sleeves of the chef's jacket to my elbows and excitedly make my way to the area where my family will meet. We are going to be introduced. My brothers and sisters-in-law will dance together along with my mother and her favorite advisor. Waiting behind the door, I spot Johanna dressed as a lumber jack, pants included, while my mother looks ready to kill her. Rye decided to be a smart ass with Johanna and dressed as a tree. The two made me laugh. Bannock was dressed as a pirate, complete with a small stuffed parrot sitting on his shoulder. Gram and Adele were some kind of Greek gods from before the dark days mythology. Mother refused to play and came as a Queen, Snow a judge.

Once introduced and in the room, I made my way to Clove and Glimmer to watch the first dance that I wouldn't participate in. Clove was dressed in military garb and knifes layered down her body. She looked dangerous. Glimmer made true to her name and shimmered in her dress of yellow/white, claiming she was a star. I noticed Annie was dressed as a mermaid and looked happier than I had seen her in some time. I winked at her and noticed a small flush over her cheeks. Finnick was in his formal uniform and staying near Annie. I was so happy for my longtime friend who had insisted upon womanizing for as long as he realized he was interested in the opposite sex. Rose was dressed true to her name as well. She was a rose. Delly had come as spring, layered in flowers in her princess cut dress of light green covered in tulle. Katniss however, she took my breath away. She was some kind of bird. A mockingjay I think. Her dress was a princess cut as well, but instead of being a soft light color, it was a soft gray. Feathers covered her waist and bodice. A sheer gauze slipped over her shoulders and down her arms, draping to the floor creating wings. Her mask covered half of her face and was feathered as well. Her hair was pulled into a tight braid then cascaded down in her curls. I had to ignore her though. I had to put my time in with the other girls, so as soon as the dance was over, I turned to Glimmer and asked her to dance. I knew Katniss was coming towards me and I knew I couldn't cave.

As the night went on, I talked with all the tributes but Katniss, and danced with all but Katniss. I even danced with Prim, who came as a Capitol bride. I noticed that Finnick did dance with Katniss, but it was Officer Hawthorne dancing with her that irked me. He looked at her in a way I didn't like, but felt better when I saw him dance with Madge. I saw Katniss sit at one of the tables, her shoulders slumped in defeat and decided I had put all the time in with the other tributes that I needed to. I walked over to Katniss and asked her to dance with me. She agreed and took my hand. I pulled her close to my body so that we were practically fused.  
"I didn't think I'd get to dance with you. ….I know I'm going home."  
"What?"  
"Prim said that you called our mother out. I can only assume that you're explaining why I'm leaving."  
"What? God no Katniss!"  
"Then why have you been ignoring me? Do you regret everything?"  
"Oh no! No. I'm sorry. I didn't think what it would look like to you. I danced with everyone else first so I could spend the rest of the evening with you and you alone. And some days, I'm so afraid that I'll wake up from that wonderful dream, only to discover that's just what it was. A dream. I care about you so much. I'm going to give you all the time I can, but I tried to give the other girls a chance in case you did change your mind. But, no one can hold my attention. I notice them, but they don't have anything on you. You are it for me." I tilt Katniss's chin up so that I can look at her. I rub her cheeks dry. "Katniss, I want it to be you at the end of all of this."  
"I think I want that too." Her admission made my stomach do summersaults.  
"That being said, I want to make everything as easy as it can be for you. I still have to do the Games, but really, it will just be us getting to know each other better. For appearances I'll have to spend time with the other tributes, but that's all going to be for show. I want to take you to the princess's suites that are connected to my rooms so that you can start deciding how to decorate them. When you have everything all picked out, say the word and it will start so it will be ready for you the moment the Games are over. I want you to think about what you would like to do with Prim and your mother. They are more than welcomed to live here in the palace or we can find them a home near here to live. I've already found a couple of schools that might be good for Prim to help her be a nurse. They specialize in biological sciences. I will be with you every step of the way. And your mother knows my plans as well. It's you I want Katniss Everdeen." With that I kiss her. I kiss her hard and long and if possible I feel our bodies fuse together more. She runs her fingers through the short hairs at my neck. I moan into her mouth. It's like we've forgotten the world around us. Needless to say when I pull away from her lips, I find us champagne and we toast to our future together and when I take her on the balcony for the surprise fireworks I am having shot off for her and her sister, I have all of the tributes toasting to the Games and their outcomes. Although no one is aware that Katniss and I have the outcome already decided.

That night, I spend most of it in Katniss's room. Around three in the morning, I make my way back towards my rooms to find my mother and her wrath waiting for me.

Chapter 16

I wake the next morning early. I feel warm and happy. I feel like I could truly love Peeta. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I feel like his love hasn't made me weaker at all, but rather, is beginning to turn me into a better person. I feel like I need to talk to someone. Prim had gone to bed with my mother last night so she was out of the question. Besides, I didn't ever want to burden Prim with my problems. I wished I could call on Cinna. He always seemed to know just what to say. And after talking to Haymitch Abernathy last night, as skewed as his views were, he did seem like the type to give it to one straight. But I couldn't. Annie. I could talk to Annie.

I slowly pulled on my robe and crept into the hallway. For once there was no guard outside of my door. I was grateful. I hated to be babysat. My room was one of the last rooms down the hall where the tributes were housed and Delly had somehow ended up in the middle of things so my end, since the elimination, was all but abandoned. I walked a few doors down and tapped on Annie's door. I felt like someone was going to hear the knock the way it echoed in the hall. I waited a few moments but not a sound came from within. Annie actually obeyed the rules and her maid did sleep in the room with her, surely her maid would answer? I tried again. With no answer, I cautiously pulled her door opened.

Annie's room was dark, but with the rising sun trickling in, I could see it looked just as it had last night. The make up to complete Annie's mermaid look was still sitting at the vanity along with gold thread that had been weaved into her hair. Her bed was perfectly made up. No one had slept in there last night. The small bed where the maid slept was just as perfectly made up as well. I could see the wardrobe door slightly ajar and tipped it open. Annie's clothing was still there. Where was Annie? I snuck back into my room and sat on the balcony as the sun rose in the sky until Lavinia came to help me get dressed for breakfast.

At breakfast, I searched to see if Annie had woken insanely early and was already at breakfast. No such luck. The other girls didn't seem the least bit concerned at all about Annie's whereabouts. I looked to the royal table and caught Peeta's eye. I quickly pulled at my ear and watched him pull back. I excused myself, having not touched much and went back to my room. It wasn't long before I heard a soft knock and pulled the door opened to reveal Peeta.  
"What's wrong Katniss?" He asked, enveloping me into a hug.  
"I can't find Annie. She would have said goodbye if you'd sent her home. Where is she?" I asked. A look of confusion went about his face.  
"Annie didn't say goodbye?" I shake my head, hurt. "Katniss…. Just trust me. I know it's hard, but I'll let you know as soon as I can." With that he leaves. I'm confused. It was like he knew something I did not and that bothered me. I am not one to trust easily, if at all, and being left in the dark…. It was hard. Then, all too soon, my mother and Prim came in to say goodbye. I plastered on a smile and pretended everything was alright as I hugged Prim close to my chest. My mother cupped my cheek, smiling at me.  
"Katniss, your father would have been so proud." The two left and after hearing my mother speak of my father, I found myself emotionally drained and in tears. I didn't leave my room for the rest of the day. Peeta had come in to try to speak to me, see if I was alright, but I couldn't form any words. It was like I wasn't even in my own body anymore. I honestly wanted to tell him I wasn't ok. That I was confused. Confused about who I was becoming. Confused about Annie. Confused about trusting him. Confused about my mother. But I couldn't do anything. I think that really hurt Peeta and I never want to hurt him. I sat as I was for another two days. Peeta didn't bother to come to me during that time.

I finally make it down to breakfast after being nearly catatonic for three days. I think Lavinia is beside herself that I actually moved. I remember her bringing Gale into the room to try to get me to talk respond. Gale had no luck at all. I had felt him cup my cheek and brush back my hair and I had wanted to slap his hand away for touching me but I couldn't move. I was trapped within myself. A vicious cycle. I mostly pushed the food around on my plate that morning and tried to catch Peeta's eye. It was like he was avoiding me. It hurt. My confusion grew. Instead, I caught Johanna's eye who gravely shook her head at me.

In bed that night, I had horrible dreams. I watched Peeta being blown up in the mine instead of my father. I clawed at the dirt, trying desperately to wake myself. I heard a high pitched siren, much like the ones back home to alert the district of an accident, except this one was a more drawn out noise. I woke to hands shoving me up. I was soaked in sweat and felt the bile rise in my throat. I knew it was only a matter of moments before I vomited. I dizzily tried to make my way to the bathroom. The hands kept me from going in that direction. Instead, I found a small waste bin and heaved my stomach contents into that. The hands rubbed at my back but seemed to tell me to hurry. My dream had changed. Normally I'd be awake by now. I've never had the dream shift to me. The siren was beginning to hurt my ears.  
"Catnip!" Gale was in front of me, shaking me, now that I was finished being sick. "Catnip!" He was screaming, telling me to run for the passageway at the end of the hall. He seemed so desperate to get me there. If it was that important to him, I best be on my way. In a haze, I did as he had told me to do. Yet, about half way down the stairs, I realized I wasn't sleeping. I had been in between the waking world and dream world but was fully functioning now. The siren was still blasting and I was running. Rebels.

When I reached the door, I saw Peeta looking about. A look of relief came across his features that I had made it but he was still searching. A guard was telling him that they were going to have to shut the door soon.  
"Delly's still out there! No!" He was trying to get back to the hall where the tributes were housed but the guard wasn't letting him. His mother was screaming at him to stop being stupid and get in. I slid down against one of the walls, still shaking from my encounter with my dream. I suppose I was shivering. I was soaked with sweat and the air down here was very cold. I heard noises and saw Delly being carried into the room by Gale, Peeta following closely behind talking to her.  
"I'm such a klutz. I tripped. I think I've cut my leg up." Peeta asked Gale to set Delly down on one of the cots and began tending to her. That night he didn't leave her side. I suddenly had to question everything. I had to hate myself for letting Peeta in. What was wrong with me?

In the morning, when we were finally allowed back up in the palace, I knew it was the southern rebels that had come through. What appeared to be blood was staining the carpet and my stomach turned on itself. Luckily, I had nothing left to vomit since I had already done that before escaping. Peeta turned to us, looking pale. "Ladies, after getting dressed, I think a day in the gardens is in order while everyone works on getting the palace put back together." We are dismissed. When I go into my room, I notice it is once again, a mess. I noticed blood staining near the doorway. I shudder. I want to hide myself away. Yet, I find a forest green dress and brown flats and dress myself. I simply brush my hair out and braid it. I think of my prep team and Cinna and Lavinia and hope they are all ok. I'm sure with the amount of sheer destruction this time that they were all needed elsewhere. I am capable of dressing myself.

I am sitting in the garden at a small table that has been set up with Delly. Delly will not stop talking. This is why I avoided people and sat with Madge. Silence didn't need to be filled with nothingness. It seems the entire court has moved itself into the gardens to work for the day. I see another table that is set up near the food that had been brought, where Haymitch, Leeland, Madge, Rye, Gram, and Peeta are hard at work. The queen and Snow had locked themselves away in the Queen's study to work. Adele, apparently, is showing an interest and is sitting at the table listening to the discussion of Haymitch, Leeland, Madge, Rye, Gram, and Peeta, along with Johanna. Clove, Glimmer, and Rose are entertaining themselves with cards. Delly is resting her leg. She had to get a few stitches and had bruised her leg up badly and the doctor suggested rest. Therefore, I was stuck with her. I kept glancing around at the guards. Gale was near us and I saw Thresh and even Cato, but I realized I didn't see Finnick. I wondered if he had been hurt at all in the attack. I am thinking about how to ask, while Bannock has climbed into my lap. Bannock has apparently taken a liking to me. I still claim it's because I make faces at him. Prim always said I was going to make an excellent mother. I always laughed. Prim would be the excellent mother. I would just make sure the child would survive and leave the other essentials behind. Bannock is about to say something to me and pull me from my thoughts of questioning if Finnick was alright, when Gale's strong voice pierces the tranquility of the bright afternoon in the garden. "Rebels! They're in the palace!"

I quickly pass Bannock off to Thresh, while chaos ensues. I wish they'd just let me have a bow. I could actually be useful. Instead, without a bow, I am a sitting duck. I watch Peeta run towards me. I am still sitting in the chair at the table. He quickly picks Delly up and begins to move with her when I hear a pop echo. I watch as some guards drop their spears and pull out guns from underneath the waistband of their jackets. I hear pops again and again. I watch Peeta deposit Delly into Gale's arms. He is screaming at Gale to run. I have somehow shot myself up and out of my chair, causing it to flip over and am trying to decide what to do. Which way do I go? I watch Peeta turn back towards me and see his brother Gram pull Peeta back by the neck of his button up. My mind and feet have suddenly made up their minds for me. I take off running. As fast as I can. Towards the edge of the gardens. I continue to hear the pops. "Cease fire you idiots! You'll shoot her! Katniss! Come back!" I keep going though. I bolt through the small patched field and hit the tree line of the woods.

I have now realized my mistake.

If I was to stop running right now, there is a strong chance that it would not be the palace guard behind me but the rebels. I do not know if these rebels are from the north or the south. I know I have to keep running. Further and further into the woods I run before I think I have enough space between me and the rebels. I spot a tree that looks like it will be able to work for me and quickly begin to climb up it. Luckily for me, I have been scaling trees since I can remember. I climb high into the leaves and ball myself up to be as camouflaged as possible. I do hear voices coming and am about to yell when I realize those voices do not belong to any of the palace guards.  
"Do you need help Paylor?"  
"No Plutarch. I've got it." I watch two people come into view. One is dark skinned and solid muscle, lugging a large bag over her shoulder while a slightly balding man comes into view behind her. The bag gives way and books spill out. What on earth could she possible want with all of these books? "Shit, Coin's going to be pissed." She begins to gather them when a whistle comes from over a bit.  
"Sounds like that's Boggs. I'll go meet him. You sure you've got this?" She nods and begins to gather the books, stacking them before binding them with parts of the torn backpack. I am trying to remain calm and quiet but something must have caught her attention because she is looking directly at me. She laughs before curtsying to me and taking off.

I remain in the tree for some time, waiting to climb down. I need to make sure that the rebels are gone. Once I'm sure, I begin to climb my way down the tree. I must be preoccupied because I miss my footing and go crashing down to the ground from about fifteen feet up. As law would have it, I hit nearly every branch on my way down. I land hard on my feet and feel a shooting pain go through my legs, causing them to give out and I fall to the ground, smacking my tailbone on the hard compact dirt. I have knocked the wind out of me. I am gulping at the air in the woods, trying to take a breath. I feel like I am near blacking out when my body finally realizes what it needs to do to breath. I suck in greedy breath after greedy breath. As I sit there, reveling in the cool feel of air in my lungs, I notice the position of the sun and realize it will be dark in a couple of hours. I need to get moving. I don't have any weapons and would not make it through the night in these woods that I am unfamiliar with. I slowly pull myself up to my feet and take a tentative step. I want to scream out in pain. My ankle and foot are unable to handle the pressure I am putting on it. I want to sit but my tailbone is crying out at me as well. Instead, I begin to walk in the direction I had run, back towards the palace, biting back the screams of the weight placed on my foot.

Even though I have barely gone anywhere, I need to keep taking breaks. My back is in pain and any amount of weight on my foot brings tears to my eyes. I swallow back the bile that threatens to show itself in my pain. I try to keep as hidden as possible since I don't know where the rebels went to. Also, I'm injured. Therefore I'm walking like a herd of elephants. It's a good thing I am not trying to get my dinner, or I'd starve. I have to stop and I dry heave at the base of a tree. I'm not sure how much further I have to go, but I know at this point, I won't be making it back before dark. I heave again, wondering what my body could think is still available to bring up, when I hear the low whistle. It's one Gale and I would use when out hunting and joining the other. I wipe my mouth and shakily whistle back. I hear a crashing through the brush and Gale bursts through some trees in front of me.  
"Catnip!" He goes to try to hug me but I dodge him, coughing hard. He tries to pick me up, but I won't let him. Even when dying, I have refused to be weak in front of Gale. I don't know why I can't allow him to see me in any other light, but I force myself to move. Gale fights with me until Thresh make an appearance with other guards then he has to give up. I make a scene of being able to walk normally, wincing inside each time I take a step and my foot has to take weight.

We finally reach the clearing that separates the edge of the gardens from the forest, after a good thirty minutes. It's dark, but I can see lights in the garden, in addition to what looks like every palace light on, filtering out from the windows. I know a few of the darkened windows that I see are both occupied and unoccupied rooms of the tributes. Surely, the welcoming party at the garden can't be for me. But I'm wrong. There is a figure, pacing back and forth, in rumpled khakis and blue polo. I can see the figure running hands through the blond curls. Peeta?  
"Katniss?" The noise of the guard's weapons clanging and heavy footfalls made Peeta shoot his head in our direction. As I continued to walk forward, he began to move quickly towards me. He looked so happy. I wanted to make him smile that like every day for as long as I could. "Katniss!" When he realized that I wasn't just some vision, he took off running towards me and before I knew what was happening, Peeta was picking me up in his arms and I was crying out in anguish. "Katniss? What's wrong?" Peeta had pulled his arms away from me at the noise I'd made.  
"I hid in a tree and when I jumped down I landed funny." Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes as I held onto to Peeta's forearms, trembling. "I jarred my back and probably sprained my ankle."  
"And you walked all the way back?" He seemed shocked that I'd do something like that.  
"I didn't want anyone to touch my back." I cover. I didn't want any of the guys to get yelled at since I'd pretended I was perfectly fine. I'm sure if they'd known I was hurt, I wouldn't have been allowed to walk back on my own. I feel Peeta step into me, his nose rubbing my temple, his breath hot on the shell of my ear.  
"Oh Katniss. Let's get you to the infirmary." He insists upon escorting me, letting me put all of my weight on him, taking breaks when I feel the bile rising up again. I'd put the pain out of my mind while walking and had been ignoring it very well, but when Peeta had touched my lower back, it brought on the pain anew. A nurse led me to a bed off in a corner while Peeta diligently stayed by my side.  
"I'm sure you have work to do that's more important than me. I'll be alright." He shook his head at me.  
"I'm not leaving you Katniss." He slipped his hand into mine, giving it a small squeeze. I noticed his eyes were pink, as if he'd been crying. "I can't believe I almost lost you." He whispered, rubbing his thumb across my cheek.

The nurse declared I had done a number on myself. Dr. Aurelius concurred. I did in fact jar my back up, bruising my lower back and would be sore for a while. My foot was a different story. An x-ray didn't show a fracture or break of any kind, but it was clear that it was a very bad sprain. I could have told them it was bad with the purple hue my foot had taken on in the matter of moments. I was given some medicine for pain and something to help me rest. I don't know what was given to me, but it made me a wreck. I started to whimper and Peeta tried to hush me.  
"I just want to be in my bed." I cried. I sniffled, wiping at my eyes. "I hate this wing. Please, just let me go to my room." The infirmary was much too white to make me feel like it was ok. I had to get out of here. Peeta gently kissed my temple as I drifted back into sleep before standing and talking to Dr. Aurelius. I felt myself being lifted and whimpered at the slight pain in my back. I felt myself being lowered into my bed in the palace and could still smell what was distinctly Peeta, working on laying me down. I force my eyes to open as far as they will go.  
"Stay with me?"  
"Always."

Chapter 17

While waiting to see if Katniss was alive or dead, I felt my world tilt and drop from itself. When I'd seen her come through the trees with the guards, I had to make sure she was real. I'd been dreaming her walking back like nothing was wrong all afternoon. But she was here. She was back with me. When I'd tried to hold her close to me and she stiffened up and cried out in pain, my heart broke. Katniss was hurt. I insisted upon taking her to the infirmary, even though Thresh insisted I should go to bed, while passing her off to Finnick, who had returned to duty after hearing of two attacks in less than 24 hours, and that he'd take care of her. Since I let Annie leave and placed her within the palace to be with Finnick, Finnick seems different, almost more caring and tender. I'd shaken off Finnick's offer and helped Katniss to the infirmary. We'd had to stop multiple times because she was hurting and I didn't want to pick her up to carry her and make it worse so I did what she wanted.

In the infirmary, Dr. Aurelius was sure she had fractured her foot, but could find no proof of it in the x-ray they'd taken. I felt horrible for Katniss. She seemed so terrified of the machine. She didn't know that it wasn't going to hurt but only look at her. They gave her something to help relax her a little bit, but that ended up backfiring on them. Katniss became more panicked and upset. I was reminded of her first night here and how she'd worked herself up to the point that I thought she was going to pass out. I asked to see if I carried her back to her room and we kept her there on bed rest instead of leaving her in the infirmary for bed rest if that would be better. They agreed.

Carrying Katniss back to her room, she snuggled into my chest and fisted my shirt. I kept smelling her hair, happy to have her back and alive. Gale saw me walking down the hall towards Katniss's suite and helped me open the door to her room before turning the lights on. Gale was at his post, near Katniss's room since no one knew if she was back in her rooms yet or not. I let the door close using my hip. Gale didn't seem to like that as I walked over to the bed and carefully set her down in it. I brushed the stray hairs out of her face, noting the cuts that had been cleaned up, a leaf still in her hair. She pushed her cheek into my hand smiling. And that's when she mumbled those words. "Stay with me." How could I deny her that? I wanted her to feel safe. I pulled the comforter from underneath her to pull over her but first I went to turn the lights off. I sat on the edge of the bed, toeing off my shoes before pulling my khakis and belt off and pulling my polo off. It was a fairly warm evening. I slipped myself underneath the covers and Katniss sighed before settling down, using my chest as a pillow. I wrapped my arms around her, playing with her hair. I was so happy to have her back in my arms. I felt such peace in my life that I had never known and realized I only felt like this with her. It didn't matter what we were doing or where we were, wherever Katniss was I felt at ease with everything. I slowly slipped into darkness while running my fingers through her hair.

I was woken near dawn by a nightmare. What could have happened to Katniss? The rebels had gotten her and were torturing her to death. I had just seen them stab a knife in her side, watching the crimson drip onto the white shirt she was wearing, sopping it and making a puddle on the floor. But when I woke, Katniss was still in my arms. I gave her a small squeeze and heard her sniffle. She was hurting again. I looked down to her face and notice she was coming out of her own sleep, frowning.  
"Ouch." She whimpers. I gently drag my hand down her arm.  
"Do you want more medicine? Dr. Aurelius sent some with me last night." She nods at me. "Let's get something into you first." I slip myself from her and page for breakfast. I already intend to stay with her the next few days. I pull my clothes back on and my socks, forgoing my shoes and crouch at the edge of her bed. She's rolled a bit to watch me. I can't stop touching her. I rub my palm against her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear. Now that I had her back, I couldn't seem to stop touching her to make sure she was real. "I'm going to get changed and grab some work and I'll be back by the time breakfast is here for you."  
"I can move Peeta."  
"Nope." I shake my head at her. "Bed rest for you."  
"You don't have to stay. I'm sure you're needed elsewhere." She's trying to make herself worth less than my work. Nope. I shake my head again at her.  
"There is nowhere else I'd rather be. If they need me, they'll find me, and I can work from here just fine." I watch as a pink blush takes over her cheeks.  
"Would you be willing to sit here with me? That medicine made me feel funny, but when you were here, I didn't have any nightmares." She's barely speaking in a whisper as if the fact that she has nightmares is an embarrassment. Did I not just have one myself? I nod at her again, promising to be back in about thirty minutes.

In my room, I change into a new polo and pair of khakis, snagging my soft baggy dark grey sweat pants and a white tee shirt. I also go into my study and get some papers to work on and a sketch book. I've been dying to sketch Katniss and I figured asleep would be the only way I'd get to. I leave everything in a pile in the chair in my room before popping across to Rye's study.  
"Hey Peet." Gram is with Rye.  
"Hey."  
"You're up early? What's up?"  
"Well….Katniss…"  
"She's ok right? Jo will shoot someone if she isn't."  
"She's back and safe. She's hurt herself. I'm going to spend the day with her. I've got my work but if you need anything…. Please don't find me."

I'm back in her room just as breakfast is going in. I hear her prep team in there with her.  
"Oh sweetie, you look so brave."  
"Such a fighter."  
"We'll leave you be. We'll be here when you're ready to move about. Just take care." It's nice to know she's so well loved with those who aren't pampered in the Capitol. It's made me feel much better about her. I know Mother hates that she's from District 12 but she's so loved by the people of Panem. And by me. I step aside as the team comes out and I nod at them before walking back in.

It's mid-morning and Katniss is asleep again. I'm sketching her as she wakes. I don't realize I've been caught. She carefully moves her position to see what I've been doing. "Is that really how you see me?" I nod. "You need your eyes checked. I don't look beautiful."  
"You're the most beautiful woman Katniss." We sit in silence for a moment.  
"Can you drawn flowers if I describe them to you?"  
"I could try to. Why?"  
"In the wardrobe there's a back pack, can you bring it here?" I stand and go to the wardrobe, digging for the back pack. It's heavy when I pick it up. Like there is a book in it. I bring it over and Katniss attempts to sit up but cringes. I help her to lean forward and grab pillows to support her before placing the bag where she can reach it. She nods at me. "Open it." I open it up and see a bound leather book. It looks old. "Well, don't be afraid to look at it." She teases me lazily. I begin looking through it to see drawings of plants and flowers. With the drawings there are uses for the plant as well. Some of these drawings are beautiful. In pen and ink and they look as if I could touch them and feel them. "Would you be able to help me with this?"  
"How? I don't know anything about plants."  
"Well, you're in luck. I do. I just can't draw and they have to be accurate." Katniss and I eagerly take to the project while she heals. I've slipped into my sweats and tee shirt and have taken to lounging around on the bed with her tucked into my side.

She is stuck in bed for several days. Well, she is stuck in bed resting 80% of the time for several days. I personally never want to leave her side but after the first few days back, doing nothing, ignoring my duties, working on the plant book, I have to go back to reality. After breakfast, I've taken to doing my work, leaving around midafternoon to carry Katniss to some other part of the palace. I can tell she misses Annie and I wish I could tell her what has happened. She begs me to take her anywhere but the Women's Room, where the rest of the tributes are. She won't tell me why she doesn't want to be with them. Delly has taken to Katniss's schedule and goes to sit with her wherever she has been carried to by me that day. I can tell Delly is getting jealous though. She keeps wrapping her arm around my upper arm, leaning on me, regardless if I'm carrying Katniss down a flight of stairs or not. Actually, regardless if I'm carrying Katniss or not. Johanna has found my routine out as well and has apparently taken a liking to Katniss and will sit with her when Delly leaves to go to lessons with Effie. After dinner and duties, I tend to work on the book with Katniss. She seems to open up a bit while I work after she's gone into great detail about a flower or plant so that I am able to draw it. She tells me about her sister Prim more and more. About her best friend. She never gives me his name, but only that he is, in fact, a he. I do wonder why at that. I wished our happy bubble could be kept forever. I would do anything for it in fact. But its a few months into the games when it comes crashing down.

The leaves are turning, changing color. Katniss and I have grown close. I honestly think if I sent everyone away right now, she'd be ok with it. She confessed to me last night, in between sleep and wake that she definitely feels something for me but seems to get herself worked up when thinking that she could inherit a country as well. I spend far more time with her than with anyone else, my own family included. I know I have to send someone home soon. I know the public is getting angry with how long things are taking in my games, but I don't want to corner Katniss. I really wish I could send Rose home, but I know if I did that, I'd face my mother's wrath.

Katniss came to me that afternoon telling me that she was given an assignment to prepare for Panem this week. She needed to plan something that she felt near and dear about. Why was she asking me? I certainly wasn't going to be giving her any answers. I wanted to know what she was passionate about so that I could support her. My mother had been on a warpath with me lately and I was frustrated that I couldn't seem to move things forward with Katniss. I have been feeling pressure from every side lately. I feel myself snapping. I felt myself yelling at her before storming off. I avoided her the rest of the week since I was so humiliated by my actions.

That evening, each tribute sat with Caesar Flickerman and discussed their ideas to help create a better more improved Panem. Rose's idea was sheer stupidity. Demanding a dress code. Glimmer actually showed some spunk by discussing looking towards reallocation of supplies to the districts that need it the most. Clove discussed something military. Opening up the draft and actually asking for volunteers first. Delly discussed fair education for all of Panem. Katniss stepped up and floored us all.  
"I call for the closed traveling boarders between the Capitol and Districts of Panem to be dissolved. Open travel. Fair trading. Education. Not letting what district you are born into dictate your life." The stage went black. The lights dimly came back on. I knew the feed had been cut. I had been thinking the same thing myself and working on how it would be done but had never been able to voice it. My mother and Snow stormed out. I knew I was going to be called for momentarily. I jotted a note to Rose quickly and was summoned to deal with what Katniss had done.

Hours later, I was limping my way from the hospital wing to my room, still in a fair amount of pain, but lessening thanks to the drugs that Dr. Aurelius had pumped into me. I don't know what Katniss was doing out, wondering the corridors at this hour but when she saw me so looked like a deer caught in the light. She was frozen in place and trying to say something. "Don't even bother Katniss." She clamped her mouth shut. "You're more than likely going home in the morning as well." She looked like she was fighting back tears. Then the sirens went off. "Oh fuck." I knew I'd never make it to the royal safe rooms. I begin to shove Katniss towards the hallway to get to them. My instinct was still to protect her, even after all of this.  
"I won't leave you Peeta." She states stubbornly.  
"You have to. I won't make it. I'll find a different safe room."  
"NO! I refuse to leave you. We're in this together." She helps me walk to a servant safe room and I swipe my hand underneath the picture frame and it opens up for us to step into. I hear the lock click in place. I know we'll be in here for some time. I remain standing. Katniss sits on the ground and curls in on herself.  
"How long until we're found?"  
"The doors automatically open up after three days, if the guards have forgotten a safe room. Hopefully, they'll remember to check this one when the attack is over." I attempt to sit down and wince. Katniss notices and tries to help me. "Don't touch me." I say more roughly than I want to. I am in pain. Having to move my body faster than I would have liked to have moved has sent a burning sensation through my body.  
"Peeta….. Are you bleeding?" Katniss asks, looking to the back of my shirt.  
"It's nothing."  
"That is not nothing. My mother is healer. That is a lot of blood." I cringe. I can feel the wet, sticky substance gathering on the surface of my skin. I must have pulled stitches. She reaches to take my shirt off but I clutch at the front of it. I can't let her see. She puts her hands on her hips and helps me to sit on the edge of the lone cot in the room. She tugs harder at my shirt and I know she won't give up until she sees for herself so I let her pull the shirt off of me. I see her face pale just looking at my shirt. She finds some water in the room and dumps it on my shirt, attempting to wash some of the blood off of it. Then she turns and looks at my back. I hear her gag. "Peeta. What? Who?" I can hear the tears in her voice, despite her repulsion.  
"Listen. What you said Katniss. It made my mother and Snow mad. They wanted to kill you. Said you were a traitor. They want me to tell you to leave." I hang my head down. "But I can't." I whisper into the darkness. I feel Katniss take my face in her hands and feel her kiss me.  
"You idiot." Her face feels wet. I know she's crying. She finds the fitted sheet meant to go on the cot and begins to pull at it. She begins tearing the sheet into long strips before telling me to lie on my stomach on the cot. I do as she says. If her mother is a healer, she must know how to get the pain to cease. I feel water on my back before she asks me to sit back up. She beings to wrap the strips around my torso. I wish I could see her face better. Eventually I fall asleep on the floor, my body wrapped around Katniss.

Chapter 18

Seeing Peeta bloodied like that and by his own mother and her advisor set my blood to boil. My heart broke. His own flesh and blood did this. I think of Prim. I think of my mother and her own reaction to my father's untimely death. I fight to stay up to keep watch on him. I am fading fast though. I honestly don't know how long we've been in here but with the way I am fighting with my body, I know it has been a good twenty hours since I've actually slept, even if it was nightmarish, as it had been all week after Peeta had snapped at me. I run my fingers through his curls and he shifts and groans as he begins to wake up. I'd had him lay back down on the cot to sleep after I'd wrapped his torso. As I had touched his back, I'd noticed there were scars on his back. This did not seem like the first time that it had happened. That made me sick. Physically sick. I'm glad Peeta was too exhausted to hear me getting sick. He shifts and opens his eyes, staring at my own, since I'm sitting on the ground next to his cot.  
"Katniss?" He questions. "You look exhausted. Why don't you rest?" I shrug my shoulders. He shifts and pulls the remaining sheet off of him and onto the floor before transferring himself onto the ground. He curls up with me. I cling to him. I feel something for him. I can't help it. I lean myself up and kiss him softly on the lips. Something stirs inside me. I deepen the kiss and he doesn't fight me. He rolls so that I am underneath him and I feel him as he continues to kiss me. I arch into him. I want him. No. I need him. I feel him kiss down my neck as he works at my dress. He shoves the material up to my waist and I feel him toying with my panties. I feel his fingers push past the band and begin to rub at me. I'm wet. I'm panting. I'm moaning. My fingers wind through his hair. I feel him move off of me and whimper at the loss of contact. He pulls my panties away and I feel him begin to kiss me. There. Oh god. The coil in my stomach tightens before suddenly releasing. I'm coming down from my high and know I want all of Peeta. In every way that I can. I move to his pants and my fingers fumble with the buttons and zipper but eventually I free him. He is solid in my hand. It's like velvet but firm. I feel him twitch as he moans against my neck. "I want you." I whisper at him. He seems to understand. He lets me pump him a few times before he pulls away and rubs at my entrance. I feel myself coming undone again. He feels so good. Then he slips in. I feel his pelvic bone against my own and a twinge of pain. It's not present long and is replaced by pleasure as I feel Peeta move. Neither of us lasts long. We rearrange ourselves and soon sleep takes us.

"He's in here!" I feel light pouring in and cringe at the voice disturbing me. I feel sore. But it's a good kind of sore. I feel a draft and open my eyes. Peeta is being helped to his feet by Haymitch and a guard is there to help me up. We don't get to talk. Not at all. Peeta is taken away, his back covered by Haymitch, who must also be aware of what his mother has done, while I'm taken back to my room and ordered to stay there. My room is in disarray. As I begin to pick things back up I notice a sheet of paper that I don't recall putting on my desk. I am about to crumple it up and throw it away when I don't recognize anyone's hand writing. This is in a hand that is completely unfamiliar to me. It is addressed to me though. I know I need to show this to Peeta after I've read it.

 _Miss Everdeen_

 _You are to bring to arrange a meeting with Prince Peeta for midnight, in a fortnight. We will get into the palace. We simple wish to speak to the two of you. We do not wish harm for any of you. Please keep this between only you and his Majesty or you will force our hand._

 _The Northern Rebels_

I spend the next few days trying to get Peeta alone for a moment so that I am able to give him the letter I'd found. Peeta seemed to be constantly busy. I somehow was not sent home either. Haymitch personally came to explain to me that Peeta claimed that I saved his life during the attack, making sure he was able to make it to safety and it had somehow gotten out to all of the servants, who had told other members of the Capitol and it was all out now. Peeta seemed to be spending a fair amount of time with Delly as well. I gave him all of me and that thrust him to another woman. I hated myself.

I finally was able to pull my ear in Peeta's direction and he responded. That night he came to my room and I gave him the letter. He looked angry at me. As if I'd personally betrayed him. How could I have though?  
"I refuse to let you come to this meeting with me." I stare at him.  
"They said they want us both. You said these are the rebels that don't kill. Don't you want to hear them out?" I snap back at Peeta, holding my ground. I wanted to know why I'd been singled out. Peeta eventually caved but only if I had Gale with me, since Finnick had disappeared again. He refused to let anything happen to me.

I crept out of my room about thirty minutes before midnight. Another letter had been found on my desk the day prior instructing us to meet in the library and alone and unarmed. Well, Gale was still coming. I wanted to know how they'd managed to get in. There hadn't been an attack since Peeta and I ended up alone in that safe room. I'd also come across Peeta pawing at Glimmer the other day. I was just another notch. I couldn't think about that now. I had slipped on my robe and slippers but still found myself shivering. With the months turning to colder ones, night got very cold to me. Or perhaps I'd just become used to the warmth of the weather in the Capitol and not my district. I hoped that my mother and Prim were staying warm. There was probably frost by now. Gale appearing in front of me on the landing took me from my thoughts of my life back in District 12. He led me down to the library where Peeta already waited, pacing. When he saw me he tried to draw me in for a kiss but I refused. I wouldn't get myself attached any more than I had. Suddenly from the darkened doorway of the library, the older man and the dark skinned woman I'd seen in the woods that day appeared. Paylor and Plutarch?

The two explained that they liked what they saw of me on the report and that I had a good following with the people of Panem. I also aligned with their philosophy. They explained that Peeta seemed more forward thinking than previous rulers, aside from his father, but his father's life ended so quickly that they'd never been able to approach him. I was to be the winner. That was the game they were playing at. Peeta reacted poorly to being told what to do. I won't lie and say his words and rejection didn't hurt me. They cut deeply. But I do what I'd done in the past and hide inside of myself. I pretend to be unaffected. The two seem confused at Peeta's rejection, stating they've had people reporting to them the amount of time we'd been spending together. That's when Peeta calls an end to the meeting. He'll consider the deal that they've proposed. I head back to my room feeling even more defeated than usual. I miss my sister. Horrible.

Chapter 19

Katniss seemed to shut down. I knew my rage at being bullied when I wanted to fight for my own choice, even if it would be the one that they were asking of me, caused me to reject her. Katniss had confessed she was afraid of rejection. She had only recently told me of how ill her mother had gotten after her father died. We'd been laying on the roof, our hands linked in each other's. I felt like my dream with Katniss was shattered and I was struggling to glue it all back together. I had wanted to talk to her about that night in the safe room. We'd bared ourselves to each other and I didn't know how she felt. She began avoiding me after that. Or maybe I was avoiding her. I don't know. Johanna would have said that Katniss was being stubborn and I was acting wounded for the emotions she didn't understand how to process. I knew I was being unfair. She'd basically been rejected by her mother when she needed someone there for her most in her life. Instead, she had to buck up and put one foot in front of the other. She had told me of her hunting illegally in order to keep Prim fed. I didn't care that she'd done anything illegal, I cared that she was so desperate and that hurt me more than anything. I wasn't there to protect her then. I had wanted to be there to protect her since laying eyes on her. And yet, because I let my mother get into my head with her hateful words while Snow whipped me, I doubted myself. In the safe room, the words had melted away and I had wanted to talk to her but then we were pulled apart. There was a look in her eyes as reality came crashing back around us that made me leave willingly with Haymitch.

I began spending time with Delly. I began spending time with Glimmer. Glimmer had offered herself up to me many times in the games and I decided to take her up on that offer. I had begun to think I'd hurt Katniss with my inexperience and never wanted that again. Glimmer took the time to show me things. And I practiced on her. I felt sick every time I did things with her, wishing it was Katniss. My mother on the other hand, kept reminding me that this was my one chance and I had better be sure at what I was doing. Sure, I knew my mother hated Katniss and Snow had it out for her, but I let them brain wash me. I became weak. My brothers even noticed the change in me. Even though I was the one always singled out by my mother and her rage, I was always confident and caring and considerate. Now, I felt like I was struggling to stay afloat. Drowning. I knew I was. The one person I wanted to talk to the most was out of the question, so I turned to Delly.

I thought Delly would be infuriated that I was using her as a sounding board. She shocked me though, by listening to me and my worries.  
"You really like her don't you?" She asked a bit sadly one day. I nodded at her. I knew I was pathetic. "Well, I hope you're able to get your way, but if not, I hope you'll see what's right in front of you. And has been this entire hunger games." I began to seek Delly out more and more after that instead of talking to Katniss.

One day, as the staff was breaking for lunch, and the servants and workers of the palace were placing the evergreen trees around my home, preparing for the holiday season, I decided I'd been enough of a baby. Sure it took me flipping out on Plutarch and Paylor but I had seen the hurt in Katniss's eyes before she had stormed herself out of the room and locked herself away in her room. I heard from Delly that she'd refused to come out at all. That was days ago. Only within the last couple of days she showed her face at meals. It was only long enough to eat a bit before excusing herself and locking herself away again. I tried to talk to Lavinia and Cinna but had zero luck. Today at the meeting, we had discussed sending guards to the families of the tributes. Rose's family had been attacked apparently. This had my mother in a state. She wanted to wage a full blown war with the rebels on both fronts. I knew we simple did not have the resources to do anything. But, after having met Prim, if anything happened to her, I'd never forgive myself. I signed the letters to send out troops into the districts. There had been an attack in District 5, leaving devastation in its wake a few days ago. The troops in five had been abandoning their posts as well. It was unnerving. Mother was sure this was a call to war and wanted to deal with the rebels in her own way. Her wrath would be felt. I wasn't sure at what to do. At what to believe. The rebels from thirteen said that they had weapons but not enough man power and wanted to overthrow the southern rebels. They would not use their weapons on us. I felt they were speaking the truth, because, whenever they had attacked, they never killed. I ended up pacing outside of the Women's Room, trying to decide if now was the best time to talk to Katniss or not.

Fate had another plan. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned. Katniss was stepping out of the room, paper clutched tightly in her hand. I swallowed past the lump in my throat.  
"How are you Katniss?" I asked politely. She shrugged her shoulders, leery of me. I can't say that I blame her. "Letter from home?" I ask nodding at the paper in her hand. She nods a yes at me. "Prim ok?"  
"Actually, it's from my mother. Prim caught a cold while out helping my mother." She sighs hard at me. "What do you want Peeta?" I chew my lip. What did I want? Katniss. I wanted Katniss. I had to tell her how much she meant to me.  
"Katniss, I'm sorry that I haven't come to you sooner." She keeps staring at the ground. I'm pretty sure, she's begging it to swallow her up. "I wanted to come and talk to you, I did. Things have just gotten busy."  
"But why ignore me?" She sounds so pathetic and hurt. I did that. I caused her to feel like that. I hate that I did this.  
"I just needed to breath. Needed perspective." She looks up at me. "This is my one chance. Sometimes, I feel that my judgment gets clouded with you because I care so much. I thought we were both on the same page until I was an ass to you."  
"That's just the thing Peeta. We finally get there and then it all falls apart. This isn't the first time it's happened. And it hurts to see you with them. After what we did and what we've talked about." She lets out a shaky breath. "Maybe you should concentrate on the other tributes for a while."  
"What? What are you saying?" I can't let her go. I won't let her go.  
"If this is it for you, be sure. There are three other girls. I won't stand in your way." With that she turns and leaves for her room. I feel like I've been stabbed. I go back and sit through the meetings for the rest of the day. I don't pay much attention. Only when my mother starts talking about the growing attacks. I wish I could be sure if what my mother was saying was true or if she was sending more troops out to cause the rest of Panem to submit to her.

Chapter 20

Seeing Peeta killed me. Having to tell him to leave me be, to look to someone else, I felt like I was being tortured. I missed my sister desperately. Madge and Johanna have been so busy lately that I haven't had time to talk to them about anything, including what I am feeling for Peeta. Gale has been pressed into more duties than usual and Finnick has suddenly returned to duty, but will not speak with me. I wish I had someone to talk to. I never needed anyone before, why now? What has changed? A soft tap on my door and I see Cinna poke his head.  
"Cinna." I smile gratefully towards him. It's like he knew I needed a friend. Since my arrival in the Capitol, Cinna has always been on my side.  
"Girl on fire." He replies before sitting down in one of the plush chairs in my room. I was still in bed, wrapped up in my blankets, refusing to see the rest of the world outside of my four walls. "Going to visit the real world today?" He quips at me. This has now become a joke to us. Effie is beyond herself with my behavior and has taken to delivering my lessons to me. I complete them all, but I don't come out of my room. If I'm going to be sent home, I am going to enjoy sitting in bed before I have to go back to working my fingers bloody to keep Prim fed. I really only come out for dinner and that is to push my food around on my plate before getting a goodnight kiss from sweet Bannock and then hiding back in my room. I ignore when Peeta attempts to tug his ear at me now. It doesn't matter. I shift a book of music that I had been reading out of my hand and stare at Cinna.  
"No. This girl isn't on fire anymore. She's burned out and intends to stay hidden." I toy with a random lose thread from the extra quilt.  
"Katniss, may I speak freely with you?" Cinna looks pained and I nod, curious as to what could have my easy going and loving stylist upset. "You have a good portion of the palace behind you. Hell, you have a good portion of Panem backing you. You also have the Northern Rebels backing you." My jaw drops at his reveal. I am not going to have him voice anything. "This was delivered to me by a friend this morning. Peacekeepers are not going to where they are needed. They are letting people be mascaraed. Panem is depending on you." Suddenly I feel like going to dinner might be a good idea. I ask for Cinna, before he leaves to go home for a few days, to have someone bring me up the last three years' worth of war documents.

I nearly miss dinner because I have been pouring over where Peacekeepers should be going and where they have ended up. None of it makes much sense. Documents are signed for them to go to one location, yet they aren't making it there, almost as if they have been rerouted. People of the Capitol are getting antsy, whether it be for more action in the Hunger Games, or with the encroaching rebels. At dinner, as Bannock comes to sit in my lap for a few moments, I glance up at the table and catch Peeta's eye. I tug my ear and go back to listening to Bannock talk about his prospects of becoming a big brother.

I am pacing my room when I hear the knock. I had already dismissed everyone. I hadn't let them in the room with me since Cinna left in all honesty. I'd gotten myself ready for dinner and knew I did not look my best, throwing on an orange dress and quickly braiding my hair. Peeta steps into my room and seems to be unsure of what to do with himself. I don't let him hold me. I don't let him kiss me. This is all about business. I launch myself into an explanation of the movements of the Peacekeepers, noting they have not been making it to aid the districts that have suffered but are elsewhere. Almost as if they are leading a lamb to slaughter. Peeta sits over the documents with me and beings to read as well. By midnight it's clear he's beginning to see the same problems I was.  
"I don't understand. There aren't any of Rye's plans."  
"I think there is someone working on the inside."  
"How did you decide to start looking at all of this Katniss?" I shrugged my shoulders. I would not sell Cinna out. He exhales. "I wish I could speak to Plutarch about this. Get word to Coin and see if she knows anything." I begin to nibble on the hangnail of my thumb, worrying it to the point that it bleeds.  
"I think I have a way to get word to Plutarch and Paylor that we need to talk to them. I think meeting outside the walls is going to be the best bet."  
"And what makes you think you're coming?"  
"If I'm arranging all of this I am coming." Peeta concedes, although unhappily, and I'm left to make my plans.

After passing word to Cinna that we wished to meet with Plutarch and Paylor I had to enroll Gale's help. I was currently chasing after him, trying to convince him while he was doing his morning run.  
"C'mon Gale." I whined, like the annoying kid sister I knew I could be. "Please. I know you leave to pick up the deliveries for the palace. We'll be disguised."  
"And now you're in on this as well? First we want me to take a royal out beyond the palace walls but now you want me to put you in danger too?" I glare at him and kick my foot out at his, causing him to stumble slightly but not completely lose his footing.  
"You never worried before and I've always been able to keep up with you." Gale comes to a stop. I must have followed his five mile path. We both had a sheen of sweat across our foreheads but our breath wasn't incredibly labored.  
"Fine Katniss. You win."

Two days later I am enjoying the feeling of my jeans and my father's leather hunting jacket. I'm at the appointed meeting spot waiting on Gale and Peeta. Peeta shows up and looks much too like himself. I know Gale will shit a brick.  
"No. No. No!" Gale hisses as he gets closer to us. "Katniss you can't wear that jacket. Too bulky. We'll switch it out with one of the smaller guards' jackets so there's some armor to it. And you," he turns and stares at Peeta. "You've got to completely change. I've got clothing you can borrow." We follow Gale into the barracks. Luckily those that bunk with him are all on duty elsewhere and he sends us into his room, while he walks into another guard's room. A couple of moments later, Gale is carrying me a dark shirt and jacket. There is a layer of what Gale explains as armor. He pulls out a pair of tattered jeans from his life in District 12 and shoves them at Peeta while the two have turned to give me some privacy to change tops. He also hands him the same shirt and jacket from his wardrobe. Once we've changed, we walk back into the common area and Gale scans the table for something else. He snaps his fingers and finds two black knit hats and thrusts the one into Peeta's hand while he wraps my long braid in his hands and secures the hat over my hair. He starts chuckling. I glare at him.  
"If you still had your old physique I'd think you were a boy. You're not much better now though." I throw a clip of bullets at him from a pile on the table before we go back into the hall.

We make our way to the kitchens so Gale can gather the keys to the truck. He had instructed us to wait until he was flirting with the kitchen hand so that we could sneak to the back door. I know Gale flirts quiet well. That was part of the reason I'd gotten so many dirty looks at school. A lot of girls were jealous, thinking that I was tied to Gale, when really, it could not be further from the truth. We were partners, fighting to keep our families and each other, to an extent, alive.  
"Do you trust Gale to not sell us out to my mother?" I feel Peeta's breath on my exposed neck. I simply nod.  
"I've known Gale for some time. If I ask him to do something and say nothing, he respects it." I don't answer the question lingering in the air, unspoken for Peeta though. Is Gale the one who hurt me? Is Gale the one that wanted domestic bliss with him? What have Gale and I done with each other? That one should be obvious since I gave my virginity up to Peeta. I see Peeta tense next to me, fighting with himself. I see Gale leaning up against the kitchen wall, causing the maid to have her back turned from us. I see this as a perfect opportunity. I begin to sneak across the kitchen, having little trouble with all the years of hunting, but Peeta struggles a bit more. Luckily, the maid is only focusing on Gale. He places a quick peck on the maid's check, much to her disappointment, and takes the keys for the truck off the peg and walks towards the door. We walk outside into the night air. A storm is coming. You can feel it settling into the air. The wind has picked up at a high pace, causing the trees to sway. You can smell it's coming in the air. It reminds me of storms rolling in at home. But this one feels different. The storms rolling in at home, whether it be snow or rain, resulted in loss of hunting days, but brought fresh with it, while this one felt sinister. It makes me feel nervous as I climb into the back of the storage area of the truck with Peeta climbing in behind me. Gale casually joking that Peeta is lucky he didn't have to rely on his tread for his food.

Peeta and I sit with our backs against one of the walls of the truck, shifting into each other with the turns Gale takes. I wonder when he learned to drive. Cars were not something one saw in District 12.  
"Katniss." Peeta sighs, struggling to speak with me. I find it ironic really. His words can sway a nation, yet he is struggling to speak to me. He pushes the edge of the hat up and rakes his hands through his blonde curls before tugging it back over them. "If anything goes wrong tonight, you need to promise me that you'll run. You won't stop. That you'll protect yourself." I stare at him, wide eyed. He brushes his thumb over my cheek. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." I hear him whisper. I don't think I was meant to hear that. The truck comes to a stop and I hear Gale shut it off and open the door. I don't hear his tread to the back of the truck from his years of hunting, but I hear the lock shift and the door roll up.  
"Cost is clear." Peeta jumps down and both Gale and Peeta offer their hands to me to help me down. I see Peeta scan the street once I am down on the ground with him. We are in a poorer portion of the Capitol. It's still more grand than District 12, but you can sense that the inhabitants are struggling here in this part of town. We walk to the sidewalk and a door in the tiny home before us opens, pouring golden light out across the darken sidewalk in front of us.  
"It's nice to see you two again." I hear Plutarch say to the two of us. He ushers us inside and Gale stations himself just inside the door, watching the street.

Inside, I tug off my hat. The tiny room is warm with the bodies pressing together. Plutarch and Paylor have brought two others with them, introduced as Leeg 1 and 2. Sisters. There is another man in the corner. He is dark, tall, and quiet. This is the one I'd heard them call Boggs while I'd been hiding up that tree.  
"Pleasure to meet you Mockingjay." Boggs says to me. I raise an eyebrow at him. "You mean no one told you that your Halloween costume inspired a nickname for you?" His voice is deep yet calming. I shake my head at him and look for Peeta who is already in discussion with Plutarch and Paylor. I nodded at him in response and moved to be near Peeta. I took a seat interrupting the conversation that they were having.  
"I had a feeling she was manipulating things for her and Snow's agenda. I can't believe she's not supplying those who need it. And now with the southern rebels upping their attacks." Peeta looked angry and sick at what was going on in his country.  
"We have been stealing some of the supplies. Trying to get it to the places that need it most. We've never been able to get much, which is the problem. We don't really have weapons. Between the Peacekeepers and the southern rebels, we could easily be wiped out by them. No offense." Plutarch responses to Peeta.  
"I wish there was a way I could think of to supply you with the weapons to help stop all this. But I can't. Not under my mother's nose." He's pulled his cap off and is back at raking his curls in frustration. I can't say that I do blame him. It feels like a vicious circle.  
"Either way, you should be leaving soon. We don't want to draw attention any more than necessary." Paylor spoke up. She passed Peeta a piece of paper. "We have a phone. It's used for emergencies. That's the number. If you need us." She shrugged. Plutarch glared at her.  
"Alma said not to give that to them."  
"And Alma doesn't have any ideas how to consistently keep getting word to each other. For now this is it." We stood and Peeta extended his hand to Paylor and Plutarch, thanking them for their time and information. Gale was already looking at the street as we tucked our hair back into our caps.

I felt like I was getting whiplash. Things were happening so quickly. How had Panem deteriorated so quickly? Perhaps it had always been like this but more well hidden from the public. I kept in step with Gale and Peeta as we walked back to the truck.  
"Get away from the truck." I was about to snap at Gale that I wasn't anywhere near the damn truck yet when I heard scuffling. I looked towards the truck and realized we were driving around with a Capitol emblem on the side of the truck.  
"We just want the food." A scruffy man said. Of course this was a walking advertisement to come and get us. I just hoped they wouldn't recognize myself and Peeta.  
"There isn't any food. Now get away." Gale stepped forward and things escalated. Gale pulled his gun from his belt while the older man leading the mob of people desperate to eat also pulled a weapon out. A citizen had a weapon? Gale and I always knew how dangerous my bows were. It was completely illegal. Peacekeepers had weapons. You were allowed small knives but that was it. If you had a weapon you were a rebel and after what Plutarch and Paylor just told us, this wasn't looking good.  
"It's a tribute!" Someone yelled in the crowd. I turned toward the voice. It was a stupid mistake. I'd given myself away. Someone went to grab me but Peeta pushed me back. After tripping and falling on the curb of the sidewalk, Peeta grabbed my hand and tugged at me. I heard a popping sound and jumped. I'd heard that before. Peeta quickly took me to a wall and laced his fingers together.  
"Katniss. You have to run. C'mon." I felt torn. I didn't want to leave him. Not to fight this by himself. But he'd made me promise. If I could even get my hands on a weapon I'd be a million times more useful. Peeta grabbed my foot and placed it in his one hand, relacing his fingers. I conceded to him and hopped upwards. I heard another pop and felt a burning sensation in my stomach as I was going over the wall. Damnit. I must have grazed wire. I wasn't able to get my balance recovered and fell to the ground in the mucky alley. I turned and tried to run. I didn't get far at all before I realized I didn't hear Peeta's heavy footfalls behind me. I turn at the edge of the alley and look for him. Nothing. He wasn't behind me. I feel the pain in my stomach intensify and I look down. In the light I can see blood pooling, beginning to drip down my pant leg. Wasn't this supposed to have armor?

I took to sliding down the rough brick wall between trashcans. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea what had happened to Peeta and Gale. I was bleeding, badly I might add. I would probably bleed out before I found anywhere better to hide or make my way back to the palace. Because we were out past curfew, I knew if a Peacekeeper found me, I'd be in trouble, thrown in jail, and I did not want to explain that one to the queen. I worked on taking off my jacket, moaning in pain. Once freed, I tried to apply pressure on my stomach. That brought on tears.  
"Please don't cry." I glance up and stare into the darkened space. Two large brown eyes stared back at me. This…Child crept forth. She couldn't be any older than Prim. Chocolate hair, matted and tangled from living on the street, her chocolate skin was caked in dirt. She wrapped herself into me, trying to lend me her body heat. "What's your name?" So like Prim as well. I was going to bleed out before I could tell Prim I loved her one last time.  
"Kat. What's yours?"  
"Rue. I'll protect you." I moved to cling to the child as my surroundings began to blur and darken. I swore I heard Peeta.  
"Kat! Come out! It's Peet!"  
"Peeta." I whispered into the darkness of the night before succumbing to my own.

Chapter 21

Katniss. My one thought was for Katniss. I had to find her. After I threw her over that wall, I turned back to help Gale. I didn't have a weapon, but I knew hand to hand combat better than I let on. Years of trying to keep up with my older brothers. Boggs, Paylor, Plutarch, and the Leegs were outside, meager weapons in hand, ready to help. Once Gale had disarmed the mobs leader, it broke up relatively quickly. It was obvious the leader of the mob did not know how to accurately work his weapon. Both the Leegs were dead. One was shot the other had been bludgeoned with some object. That made it all the more important for me to find Katniss. I needed her back in my arms before I could even phantom calming down.  
"Where's Mockingjay?" Boggs asks, taking in the scene.  
"I had her run. Sent her up over the wall." I nod in the direction I had shoved her over, breathing heavily. I needed to up my work outs as well. Sure I had taken a pair of brass knuckles to the ribs but it shouldn't have left me this winded.  
"Is that blood?" Gale nods at the top of the ledge of the wall. I pale. It's sticky deep red taunting me.  
"We've got to find her. You guys go, get yourselves away from this. We need to go find her." Apparently I can still feel in command of something. I wasn't about to let Plutarch and Paylor take any responsibility for this. They nodded and bolted away. Gale already had the truck going and had rolled the windows down.  
"Don't use her real name or yours. Call for Kat. You're Peet. Got it?" Gale barked at me as I climbed in the other side of the truck, ready to look for her. As we turned down the street Gale bellowed out the window. "Catnip! C'mon out." I began to mimic his actions.  
"Kat! It's Peet! Come out!" We made another turn and another. I was becoming anxious. Where was she? If she was hurt, truly hurt, could she even hear us or were we just wearing out voices out for nothing? Down the street, a little girl caught our attention in the headlights of the truck. Gale seemed to want to continue but I jumped out of the moving truck. I needed to check alleyways in case she was unconscious. That pissed Gale off further that I'd done something that stupid. The little girl, who I assumed wanted food or money, came up to me and tugged on my jeans before running down a darkened alley. I don't know why I felt compelled to follow her but I did. And there in a clump on the ground, a pool of red continuing to grow under her, lay Katniss. I ran back out and called for Gale immediately before rushing back to her side. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. Gale came up behind me and I heard him swear under his breath as he picked her up in his arms and motioned for the small girl to follow. He placed Katniss into my arms as he opened the latch of the truck and picked up the small girl.  
"No one is going to hurt you again." He said to her, keeping her eye level with him as he set her down. "So what's your name kiddo?"  
"Rue."  
"Ok Rue. We're gonna see to it that you get something to eat." She nods and sits down in the back. He takes Katniss from me again and I feel sticky. He nods his head at me to climb up and I do as I'm told. I'm in such a state of shock that I have to be ordered about like a small child. He holds his arms out for me to take Katniss and I do.

The entire ride back to the palace is rushed and very uncareful. On the way there, Gale had taken turns slower but now he didn't care. I kept Katniss clutched tight to my chest, fighting off tears. Had I really been this stupid with her? So careless? Never again. Whether or not I wanted it to be true, she had somehow become my world. I would spend the rest of my life making that apparent to her if she survived. I felt the truck jerk to a stop and heard the lock being flipped. The truck was still on. Gale must have called ahead because Dr. Aurelius was waiting with a gurney at the kitchen door. I placed Katniss on the sheet of it and watched them take off through the back passageways. I knew I was covered in blood and looked like hell. It was a small sniffle that pulled me from my shocked state. I walked back over to the truck bed and picked up the small girl and took her into the kitchens with me. I looked at one of the servants.  
"Would you please get Mr. and Mrs. Odair for me?" With a small bob, the servant was off. I sat the tiny child down on one of the stools in the kitchen and went about getting her something to eat. Gale walked in, placing the keys back on the peg.  
"You need to go change. Then we need to figure out what to tell the Queen." Finnick and Annie came rushing in, both wearing robes. I had forgotten the hour. Annie went into her nurturing mode when she saw the little girl sitting next to me, eating a slice of bread heavy with jam.  
"Well aren't you a pretty girl." The girl seemed to blush, but it was hard to see it underneath the dirt.  
"Would you guys mind taking care of Rue until I can figure out what to do with her?" Annie nodded and with the servant in tow, began to walk away. "And Annie….. Be there for Katniss." She looks confused but nods.

Once it is just us men in the kitchen, I spill everything to Finnick. I don't realize I've become hysterical in tears until he hands me a glass of water and a shot glass filled with a clear liquid in it. I tip both into my mouth and quickly drain each.  
"Let's get you cleaned up. Then we can go see what's going on with Katniss." He places his arm around my shoulder. "And Gale, same goes for you." Gale nods. Looking back at him, he seems to have aged twenty years in five minutes. We leave the kitchen, Gale to clean up in the barracks, while I go to my chambers with Finnick. Finnick starts the shower for me and tells me to get undressed and clean off. In the shower I watch the water come away pink. My stomach churns. What is happening with Katniss? As I turn off the shower, after scalding my body in the hot water, I dry off and put on the soft blue sweat pants that Finnick had brought in for me. I tug on a white long sleeved shirt before shoving my feet into the sheep lined slippers. He then escorts me to the infirmary. A nurse is there and when I ask about Katniss, I'm told she's in surgery. I know it's going to be a long night.

The sun is just barely trying to make its presence known when Dr. Aurelius comes to wake us. Annie has ended up curled onto Finnick's lap after making sure Rue was secured in a bed for the night and then coming up. I can only assume Finnick sent word to Annie where to meet us. Gale has come as well. He's back in his uniform though and has his head against one of the walls, blocking out the light to sleep.  
"Katniss is going to be fine Majesty. We had to remove her spleen. The bullet was causing internal bleeding and when we opened her up to see if the organ could be saved, realized we couldn't. May I ask sir, what happened?"  
"Wrong place at the wrong time. Is there any way to forge this into something other than a bullet wound but still get the rest she needs?"  
"I suppose we can fib and say she had her appendix removed. It's not even the right side of the body, but really only medical professionals would know that. She's in recovery at the moment Majesty. She should be waking up soon. After that she'll stay with us for the day and then we'll send her back to her quarters. She should be acting perfectly by the end of the week. She may be moving a little slowly to those that know her exceptionally well, as she did crack a rib as well." He winks at me, and nods for me to follow him. I do so and find Katniss resting in a bed. Machines beep a steady sound and there are funny looking wires coming out of her gown in addition to a tube coming from her arm. Although I have had my fair share of visits with Dr. Aurelius, never have I been this bad. I sit into the chair that Dr. Aurelius has pulled up beside the bed and take Katniss's hand, willing her to wake up.

I must doze off again because it is a hand twitching within my that brings me to. I've already forgotten where I am. I remember things and will them to be nothing more than a nightmare but when I open my eyes, I know them to be true. Katniss was shot. She'd undergone surgery. She'd had her spleen removed. I hear her groan and I sit up quickly. I realize that Annie is sitting on the other side of the bed. She mouths a good morning to me and goes back to looking at Katniss come around. When she opens her eyes, her beautiful silver grey eyes, I nearly begin to cry all over again. I came so close to losing her. She struggles to take in her surroundings and make the connections in her mind. She notices me though, when I squeeze her hand.  
"What happened?" She mumbles at me. I explain how we got away from the mob and how a little girl found me when I was running about the street calling out her name. "Rue?" I smile at her. Of course she would be taken with the small thing that reminds of her sister.  
"She's here in the palace. I'll figure something out." I continue on explaining that Gale rushed us back here, thinking to call Dr. Aurelius ahead and have him waiting for us. How she was rushed into surgery.  
"You've a cracked rib and had to have your spleen removed. Dr. Aurelius is going to say your appendix ruptured to get you the rest that you need and to not alarm my mother as to our adventures." I smile at her and bring her knuckles to my lips and place a soft kiss on them. "But someone else is here to see you." I nod across her bed at Annie. I'd kept Annie hidden from the rest of the palace. I was worried how my mother would take it that I allowed a tribute to go to marry my best friend. I didn't think it would go over well. While my brothers and I were happy Finnick was happy, I wouldn't have put it past Snow and my mother to make him pay. Annie used the back halls and the passageways to move about in the castle. She did have free reign, just not complete freedom. Finnick and I were still brainstorming on how to deal with my mother. I didn't let Katniss see her because I was worried that someone else might catch a glimpse of her and begin to talk before I had a chance to deal with my mother. I saw Katniss light up when she recognized Annie was sitting there with her. I would give my life if I could see that look cross her face every day. I had to tell Katniss how I felt. But first I had to send a tribute or two home.

I excused myself for a few hours from Katniss's bedside and went to my study. Naturally Gram and Rye were already hibernating within it, waiting to pounce on me.  
"Is Katniss ok?" I nod my response before continuing, walking to sit in my chair behind the desk that I've spent way too many hours at lately. How do I broach this topic of Mother not sending Peacekeepers and the supplies carried with them to the Districts that have been rocked by the rebels?  
"Her appendix….Ruptured." I sit and run my hands through my curls.  
"But she'll be ok, right?" Gram trailed off.  
"Yeah. Um…" Crap how do I even begin this without explaining everything? "Rye, have you been receiving reports from the Peacekeepers we've sent out to help?" Rye raises an eyebrow at me.  
"Of course."  
"Are they coming from where we've sent them?" Rye looked at me like I was crazy.  
"Yeah. Why wouldn't they be where we've sent them?" I exhale.  
"I think Mother and Snow have been rerouting them."  
"Why would you say that?"  
"Call it a gut feeling?"  
"You know," Gram interrupts the two of us before anything can escalate. "It seems like something Snow would do. Mother and Snow see the lower districts, the ones who've gotten some of the worst of the attacks, as nonessential." Rye exhales. He's still mad, thinking I've accused him of not being able to keep track of things correctly.  
"I'll look into it further."  
"Thank you. I just ….. Something doesn't feel right." I sigh, feeling guilt ridden. I should have made Katniss hang back. Stay in the safety of the palace walls. Although, even those weren't necessarily safe. They were still safer than being outside of the walls. "There's something I need to go take care of." I stand and go into my rooms to dress for the day. Khakis. Polo. Sports coat.

I make my way down the hall of the wing the tributes are still housed in. Most of the rooms are empty now. There is only six occupied. There will be one less occupied by the time I leave this wing today. I stop at the room I've been looking for and knock on the door. It is opened by a maid, who bobs upon seeing that it is me at the door, before opening it further.  
"Rose. Glimmer." I state, plastering on my smile. "It's so nice to see you both. I was wondering if I could borrow Glimmer for a moment." Glimmer looks all too pleased with herself, at the fact that I've sought her out and asked her for a solo moment. I'm sure she'll hate me in less than thirty minutes. I escort Glimmer to one of the side rooms in the palace set aside for something stupid that I can't name.  
"Glimmer. I'm sorry to say that your time is up."

Chapter 22

When I groggily come to, there's a bright light above me. It's too bright. The room seems too white. It smells sterile as well. I feel my fingers twitch and am met with soft flesh around them. As the room begins to come into focus, I am hit with a wave of pain. I'm not dead. If I was dead, I doubt I'd feel the pain that I'm in.  
"Katniss?" I hear a whispered voice. It seems to believe my waking can't be happening. I turn my head towards the voice and realize that probably wasn't the best move. It doesn't matter though. I see Peeta. He's been crying. Or he is crying I should say. He looks like he can't believe we are where we are. Which is where? I remember getting over the wall. I remember a little girl. She reminded me of my sister. Her name was Rue. But that's it. I assume I'm in the infirmary wing of the palace. Peeta is unguarded. I assume if we were still out in the streets, Gale wouldn't be letting him out of his sight, taking his job seriously, of course.  
"What happened?" How did I end up here? Peeta explains quickly that I was rushed back to the palace and rushed into surgery. I had once less organ than when I entered these games but I would heal. With the help of the Dr. Aurelius, I would get the rest I needed, under the guise of a ruptured appendix. He assured me that Rue would be taken care of then told me to turn. I did as asked and realized my other hand was being held as well. I followed the pale hand up to the face of my dear friend that I'd thought I'd lost.  
"Annie?" My face felt wet as I realized she was really here, sitting with me. Peeta quietly excused himself and told me he'd be back later. I nodded at his retreating form.  
"How Annie?" I was in shock. "I just can't believe you're really here."  
"Peeta." Annie simply said.  
"Peeta how? Peeta what?"  
"The night of the Halloween party, I talked to Peeta. After Peeta had a solo date with me, I realized I wasn't the one for him. I realized he'd already fallen for someone else. His personal guard Finnick had apparently realized this as well. On the day of the attack that sent us all to the safe room, Finnick came running to make sure I was ok. He'd apparently noticed me. We'd talked a bit during that first attack when we were here. I knew then. Peeta arranged to dismiss me from the games and quickly have Finnick and I married so that his mother couldn't go after me. He'd told his mother but we were kept hidden until her temper could be trusted. I've been working alongside Madge and Johanna since. But here I am." Annie shrugged her shoulders and smiled at me. "He really does love you."  
"The better question is, who doesn't love Brainless?" Johanna invited herself in and I spent the rest of the afternoon while I was awake talking to the two of them. I revealed what I'd learned about the Peacekeepers not going to the proper location. I knew Johanna would have something to say about that, coming from District 7. We could only assume that Snow and the queen had more of a hand in things than they were letting on and we decided we would do everything to get to the bottom of this. Johanna truly believed that the southern rebels had eyes inside of the palace as well.

I was exhausted when the two of them left. Annie revealed that she was pregnant as well. There must be something in the water. Even though Annie was still very early on, she seemed happy. I closed my eyes to think about the past twenty four hours and must have dozed off.  
"Katniss?" It was called quietly into the darkness of the room. The light from the door leaked in across my bed. I hummed in response. I'd heard them but I wasn't necessarily ready to wake. I'd been poked and prodded enough. I heard a soft chuckle in response to me before feeling a hand across my forehead, probably pushing stray hairs away before soft lips kissed my forehead. I peeled open my eyes to see blue ones. "Hi." He whispered at me, smiling.  
"Hi." I whispered back. I didn't want to talk too loudly, afraid to break the mood.  
"I didn't mean to wake you."  
"It's ok. How was your day?"  
"I rather would have been with you. Did you enjoy your visitors? Johanna wasn't too much was she? She's taken with you." I shake my head.  
"You look like you haven't slept in some time. Lay down with me?"  
"Always."

When I woke again my bedmate was gone. I hadn't any nightmares though. The side of the bed that had been abandoned was cooling slightly. He couldn't have left that long ago. Soon Dr. Aurelius came in to discharge me to my room under the strict instructions that I was to continue to rest. I was walked to my room with his help and a nurse's. When I pulled open the door, my prep team, Lavinia, and Cinna were waiting for me. A ridiculous amount of flowers littered the room. Cinna handed me a note once I had gotten myself situated on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, soaking in the sun from the opened balcony doors, ignoring the chilled air coming in.

 _My love,_

 _Since you will not be able to go outside for a couple of weeks, and I know how antsy you got the last time, I thought I'd bring the inside to you. I shall be by to see you as soon as I have a free moment._

 _Peeta_

What on earth had I done to deserve the love of someone as pure and loving as Peeta? I could live a thousand lives and still not deserve him.

When Peeta came at tea time, Delly was hanging on his arm. It pained me to see that. She looked at him as if he was the only person out there. I had a flash of small blonde hair blue eyed children running around. He should be with someone like Delly. Someone who only had eyes for him. True, I didn't have feelings for anyone else, but I'd dragged him along and was selfish with his heart.  
"Oh Katniss! You gave us all a worry!" Delly scolded me.

The next few days, I wrote Prim and Peeta would come to see me as often as he could. Delly would always be in tow. Peeta was too sweet to send her away and with her chatty smiley personality, I didn't speak much. I hadn't a letter from my mother or Prim in some time. I did hear the going ons of District 12 through Delly. She was receiving letters from her family regularly. I began to worry. I was sitting through lessons with Effie and the other young ladies, my first since the night we went outside of the palace walls, when there was a knock. Finnick entered and talked to Effie in a quiet voice. The two looked at me before Finnick made his way over to me.  
"Katniss. You need to come with me." I glared wearily at Finnick before standing and following him out of the room. Effie was hot on our heels. "I'm really sorry to have to be the one to give you this." He stuck a phone message out to me. I shakily took the paper. Did my mother slip into a bad spell that Prim couldn't even wake her from? Did something happen to the Hawthornes? I had to read the message multiple times. I couldn't believe the words written. Prim had died.

Chapter 23

I knew it was bad if Finnick was pulling me out of meetings. All he'd said was Katniss and I bolted. I found her in her bed, unresponsive. She stared at the wall, looking into her own world. I was heartbroken to hear that Prim had died. She'd gotten pneumonia, helping her mother attend a sickbed. By the time Prim realized she was ill, her mother was having a bad spell. I needed to send Katniss home to District 12 to take care of things. I called in Gale later that afternoon, explaining the situation. He looked sick when he heard. I wasn't fully aware if it was because the Hawthornes and Everdeens had known each other or if, when he'd met Prim, he'd been put under her spell, much as I was. I talked to Gram and Rye as well. I wanted to go with Katniss. To be her pillar in her time of sorrow. Both agreed. They would handle everything while I was gone. I had hoped to be here in the palace for Christmas. Christmas was a magical time here. The holiday had only been resurrected in my father's childhood. Everything smelled like fresh pine or cinnamon. Trees would line the hallways with a giant tree in the ballroom and the main parlor. I had the perfect gift in mind already for Katniss as well. I'd already acquired it. I had gotten her family a house, just outside the palace walls. I'd also wanted to propose to her, games be damned.

"Katniss." I rubbed her back, holding her to my chest, while she remained in her catatonic stupor. "I am coming with you. I'll be here for you." I pressed kiss after kiss to her temple. As close as I was with my brothers, I was not nearly as close as Katniss was to Prim. I knew from speaking with Katniss, that Katniss had taken on role of protector and mother to Prim when her own mother's mind flitted away. I had a feeling Katniss was blaming herself. In fact, if I know Katniss in the slightest bit that I'm sure I do, she is blaming herself. She wasn't there to take care of her sister and she will always blame herself. What if she won't come back with me? I feel something akin to panic. What if she looks at me and that is all she ever sees now? A failed attempt at giving Prim everything her heart could ever have desired. I'd be nothing but a horrible memory to her. I felt bile rise in the back of my throat but pushed it down, clinging to Katniss tighter. It was Snow barging in that broke the atmosphere of her room.  
"Majesty." He glared at me. I hated him. His eyes reminded me of a snakes. His movements just as similar as a snakes, poised, curled looking as innocent as possible, until it thrust itself forth to strike, waiting for its prey to be at its most vulnerable. I detangle myself from Katniss's limbs. I will not have this man in her room. Not while she is mourning.  
"Yes?" I ask, once I've got the door mostly shut. I see Lavinia coming up the stairs. She's been gathering things Katniss will need for her trip home and was nearly done. She stopped, seeing me standing my ground with Snow outside of Katniss's door though.  
"I hear you are wanting to make a trip."  
"Your point?"  
"Your mother and myself have forbade it."  
"You can't!" I shout. There is no way I will not not be there for her.  
"The two of us think it's better if you stay here where it is safe. The rebel attacks have increased in number and we worry about what would happen if you were to leave the walls." And he turned and left.

I pitched as big a fit I as I could. I'm sure I even made Bannock's temper tantrums look tame. I had to let Katniss go though. And it broke my heart. I insisted on Haymitch accompanying Lavinia, Gale, and Katniss. Gale had proven himself trustworthy after the attack outside the walls. I knew he would have Katniss's best interest in mind. He would also be able to see his family for a spell. I personally saw the group off. A car was waiting by the side entrance of the palace while I clung onto Katniss.  
"Why do I feel like this is goodbye?" I asked her. The sky seemed to have matched my mood. It was grey and cold. Much colder than usual. It felt like it could actually snow.  
"Maybe it should be." I heard Katniss whisper.  
"Please. Don't say that." I had to fight back tears. Did Katniss really not realize what she'd done to me? Since she first scolded me on the lawn. She had to have known.  
"Peeta. I'm tired. Take this time while I'm not here to figure this out. To end this." She placed a soft kiss on my cheek and I watched her go.

Chapter 24

I was so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of struggling. Tired of failing. I'd failed. I'd been gone and Mom had checked out and it cost Prim her life. My sweet little sister. Prim was so full of life. Everyone loved her. She had a way about her, that just made you love her, even if you were as sour as Haymitch was. I'm sure Haymitch would have loved her. I fought hard for us after Dad died. I'd struggled and given a lot of things up just to see Prim smile. She loved such simple and pure things. I remember one Christmas, I'd scrimped and saved to get her a hair ribbon. That was the first Christmas after Dad had died. She cried so hard over the damn thing it was like I'd given her the moon. She was worse when I'd gotten her Lady, her goat. She was just as bad when I finally caved and didn't drown Buttercup and that stupid thing became Prim's cat. That cat hated me. It loved Prim. What did I have left to fight for? I didn't deserve the love that Peeta gave so freely. I could bring nothing in return. Nothing but my failures. I was broken. I'd been broken since the day Dad died.

I spent most of the train ride curled in on Gale. I think he was thinking of his own siblings. He hadn't failed them. Hazel hadn't checked out on her children when her husband died. Not like Mom did. What made the two of them so different? It hurt to know that Prim and I weren't enough. I knew I was never enough. Mom only started coming out of her stupor at Prim's begging and pleading and crying. Nothing I did mattered to her. I made Mom promise me that she wouldn't leave Prim while I was gone, that she had to remain strong. Where had she failed?

Back home, I could see that some of the Seam children weren't so skinny and scrawny as they normally were in the winter. My small party and I crunched through the snow to my house. I felt myself shaking. I couldn't do this. If I crossed the threshold, I had to acknowledge my baby sister was no longer there. Haymitch seemed to sense that I was going to bolt and kept me from doing so. As soon as I was deposited in the house, Gale took Lavinia and Haymitch around to his home. Mom sat in the old rocker Dad had made for her. She didn't acknowledge me. She didn't even know I existed. The room was cold even though there was enough wood for once. I squatted down and began a fire before hiding in the small closet off the kitchen. When Dad died, I developed a habit of hiding myself away from the world in closets. I'm not sure if I fell asleep or how much time had really passed, but it was Gale that pulled me out and forced me to get on with things.

The day we buried Prim, a message came from the train station. His Majesty had called. He was cutting my trip home short. I was being summoned back to the palace. My train would leave the next day. I took Lady and Buttercup, both sorely missing their small owner, around to the Hawthornes. I asked them to take care of them. Posey, Gale's youngest sibling, seemed thrilled to have a cat, even one as ugly as Buttercup. I hated parting with the stupid beast, even just for a few days. It was like my last link to Prim. I didn't want to part with Lady either, but I knew Lady would greatly help the lives of the Hawthornes. Hazel promised to check in on my mother but I shrugged. I didn't see the point. She'd given up long ago. She forgotten about Prim and myself. She'd forgotten about her last remaining daughter now.

Once back in the palace, I tried to appear happy to be back. In all honesty, I wasn't sure. I felt like I was a mess. My emotions were all over the place, left unchecked. I'd go from anger to having anxiety. I really wanted to try hiding in the wardrobe in my room. I knew behind all the gowns, no one would be able to find me. Peeta seemed heartbroken that I was not more happy to see him. I was just in my own world though. Peeta came to me that night and I just wanted to forget. I wanted to forget the pain that I'd been left in and feel a connection to someone. Our clothing was off in record time. However, once my naked body lay exposed in front of him, Peeta took his time with me. He massaged my breasts, suckling at my collar bone before trailing his mouth down to suck in a pert nipple. Our first time in the safe room was quick and heated. Peeta and I both had no experience. It seemed Peeta had picked some up. He ran his fingers up and down my body, resting at the junction between my legs. I panted into the night when his mouth left my nipple and the cold air met it. He snuck a finger into me while swallowing my gasp at the intrusion with a kiss. He gathered the moisture that had begun to pool between my legs and rubbed at a bundle of nerves that caused me to shiver. He slipped another finger in to join the other and pumped and rubbed at a steady rhythm. I felt myself reach a new high and my walls pulsed around his digits. I felt his cock against my ass, hard, straight, and thick. I needed more. I rolled so that I was on top of Peeta and he scooted himself up so that his back rest against the headboard of the bed. I grasped his cock and felt it pulse in my hand. I gave it a gentle squeeze before lubricating it up with my own wetness and sliding down on top of it. We both cried out into the night from our joining. Peeta cradled me, paying attention to my breasts again, helping me to establish a rhythm we both liked. I felt my walls flutter around him as his finger began to toy with me where we were connected. I moaned out a release, feeling him jerk and twitch inside of me. I fell onto his sweaty chest and just remained there.  
"That was not what I came to see you for, but either way, I love you Katniss."

The next morning, I woke to the sound of the shower and could feel the warm damp air coming into the bedroom from the bathroom. I'm sure if I opened the bathroom, I wouldn't be able to see my own hand in front of my face from the amount of steam. Instead I slip on a robe and crack open the door. Gale is standing guard outside.  
"How are you feeling Catnip?" I shrug. "You know, I never got a chance to apologize. For not making you stay that night. I almost got you killed. And now with Prim…..Can you ever forgive me?" Gale looked at me like a lost angry child. I wrapped him in my arms and kissed his temple.  
"You will always be my best friend Gale." We heard a throat clear behind us and I saw Peeta. How much had he heard? Obviously enough. He looked angry.  
"Here you asked me to end it and I was. I'm glad I saw your true colors before I could give you this!" Peeta throws a small black box at my feet before stomping away. I bend down and pick the box up, taking it into my room. I crack it open and see a simple yet beautiful ring. A silver colored band, although probably a much more precious medal than what is considered the best in my poor District. A large, but not obnoxiously large, iridescent grey pearl sits in the center of the simple band. I choke back a sob. He was going to propose to me. He wanted to make me mine. And what's worse, I wanted to be his. Only his. Even if that meant taking on the role of a princess. I wanted to help him with his burdens, no matter how big or small they were. I wouldn't get the chance to explain what he had seen. I think I regret that even more.

Chapter 25

I storm away from Katniss's room. I had announced that the tributes needed to be ready by one in the afternoon for an announcement. I had intended to purpose to Katniss before the actual live for the nation proposal. She was such a private person that I wanted the real one to be just between us. I wanted that moment to be private. I had intended to propose last night but when she attacked me with need, I responded. Luckily, I'd had a pink diamond that I had intended to let Gram have to give to Adele lying about. I know Delly loved pink. Katniss had taken my heart out and stomped on it.

Caesar, Claudius, and camera crew were already in place when I entered into the ballroom. It had been decked out for the occasion. A massive party would take place after the announcement of my bride. I'd called all the tributes back for this moment. The games created some kind of sisterhood for them. Johanna and Annie both looked pleased. They assumed I was marrying Katniss. I hoped they'd support me in changing my mind. Delly was already in the room. She was wearing a pink tulle gown that stopped at her ankles. Her pink shoes matched perfectly. She was smiling. At least I knew she would always do that. Her cheeks were flushed and seemed to grow deeper in shade when she saw me walk in. I made my way over to my brothers, picking up a glass of champagne along the way. When I saw Katniss walk in I almost lost all resolve. She was in a gown of orange. Not just a bland orange, but my orange. My sunset. Against the color of the dress, I could see she still hadn't returned to her normal olive coloring since her operation. She looked like she hadn't slept much either. Her movements all felt tired. The dress was haltered with two buttons behind her neck that left a large hole in the center of her back. The dress picked up again at her natural waist. It hugged her hips before trumpeting out. She paused and looked around her. I felt the need to be evil. I walked over to her, slightly tipsy with the amount of champagne I'd already indulged in.  
"Looking for your lover?" I practically snarl at her. She shakes her head. I can see that she has been crying.  
"Peeta. Please. Let me explain."  
"Please do not address me so informally. I reserve that right for friends." She looks as if I've slapped her. Her face droops. I will not let her ruin this. "No. Don't you dare Katniss. You will stand here and smile until the end." Something must click within her because she does just that.

I walk to the center of the room. I see Katniss gently shaking her head at Rose. I clink my glass, calling for attention. Rue, who has been helping in the kitchens, has been dressed up for the day. She'd been begging to see Katniss again any time I'd gone down there to bake while she'd been away and I needed to think, has gone to cling to the front of Katniss's dress. Katniss bends down and presses a kiss to the girl. I wonder if Katniss realizes the kind of mother she will make. I want her to mother my children.  
"I think we know why I've brought you all here today." I begin. I see the red flickering light on the cameras and know we are live. I hope this decision appeases the nation, especially with my mother having to hand over her duties to my brothers and myself. "I have found my bride. And here today, in front of you all." Some of the guards step forward and move amongst the crowd. I don't have time to react. I can only watch in horror as one pulls out its weapon and fires, at point blank, into Rose's head. Clove swiftly turns and throws a knife towards the guard that had fired on Rose. Rose's blood splatters across Delly and she begins to scream. I tip the nearest table and pull her behind it. Katniss is still standing in the midst of everything with Rue clutching her. I hear gunfire all around me and I hear Katniss scream. Something must have happened to Rue. I poke my head out and see that the little girl is lying in a crumpled puddle at Katniss's feet. I see Clove coming at Katniss, wielding her knifes, readying to throw one, and I jump in front of Katniss. Gale has already rushed Delly towards a safe room and was coming back to get me. I feel a shooting pain through my leg as I fall to the titled floor. Katniss is next to me, tipping my face towards her.  
"You are so so so stupid!" She kisses me, tears running down her face.  
"Well damn you. I can't live without you."  
"And I love you, you idiot!" She loves me. I know I won't be making it to the safe room. There is chaos ensuing around me. So much blood shed. But she loves me. I feel like I have waited a lifetime to hear those words from her. I feel like I can die happy. She starts to punch at the air as she's lifted up. "I'm not leaving him!" She's screaming. I see that Gale has got her by the waist and running down the hall to the nearest safe room. I hope I see her again.

Chapter 26

How could he just jump in front of that knife like that? The idiot! I am not worth anything to Panem. He is worth everything. I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn't keep that from him any longer. I thought I'd shown just how much I truly did care for him. I've always been better with actions and not words, but if I never spoke them, would he truly ever know? That was why I told him. And then Gale. Damn him. He dragged me away. I could have fought. I could have helped. I had seen Plutarch and Paylor in the crowd with a woman with silver hair. I could only assume that was Alma. But the soldiers. Something was off about some of them. A few had bands of white wrapped around their upper arms, while some had purple. That was never part of the uniform, formal or not. Watching Rose getting killed shook me. And then seeing Clove turning around and killing that person. Then watching the guard called Cato try to get at me, but getting Rue instead. Cato had his neck broken by Thresh after that. Clove running at me and then that idiot! There was so much blood. I saw the queen go down attempting to make an escape. And now I can't save Peeta! I can't save that idiot! Gale dragged me away and locked me in this stupid safe room! At first I screamed for as long as my voice would hold out. I tried to get out. I had to keep Peeta safe. I decided that I would spend the rest of my life doing just that, even if it was from the shadows. That stupid idiot made me love him! When I realize there will be no escape for me, I wedge myself between the corner of the wall and a shelf loaded with supplies, tucking myself into a ball.

Time seemed to pass slowly. It felt like an eternity until I heard the clicks of the door being unlocked and a ribbon of light coming into the room. I pull myself from my hiding spot and see Finnick.  
"I found her!" Finnick called back and I saw Haymitch shaking his head at me with a small smile on his face. They insist I go to the infirmary wing. They we were worried about the extension on my body so recently after surgery. On the way to the infirmary, no one will answer my questions. Is the royal family ok? Is Peeta alive? What happened? I see deep pools of red every few paces and know that they are pools of blood. Finnick will only answer one question for me. Rue did not make it. I've failed another. How many dead? Who attacked us? These questions spin around in my head at a pace that is dizzying. I am not bleeding and as Dr. Aurelius is dealing with a lot of those severely injured, I have to wait. I'm giving a small bed in the corner but I will not let the nurses pull the privacy curtain. I look out at the familiar faces. I see Boggs laying a few beds down. I see Gale with his arm slung up and Madge attacking with kisses. I knew Madge had always liked him. I was glad to see Gale was finally being sensible. There are faces I do not see. I can only hope they are ok and working. Dr. Aurelius deems me ok but demands that I rest. I've been much too stressed lately. I almost want to punch the man.

Finnick and Haymitch take me to the royal family's floor. I don't hear the laughter of Bannock. I don't hear the talking of brothers. I am in a nervous state. Finnick knocks on a door and pulls it open.  
"I've got Katniss Everdeen here." The door pulls open further and I am ushered in. Inside the room I see a set of doors opening to a large desk, where Rye and Gram are pouring over papers. I take in the dark paneling. I take in the beautiful paintings. There are also snapshots, I think they are called, on a board. I hear the rustle of papers from another area and turn to look at the bed. I find Peeta sitting up, papers upon papers littered across the comforter. His leg is propped with pillows, bandaged up, and slightly exposed. Peeta is alive. I can't even speak. Peeta sees me and smiles.  
"Could you guys give us a few minutes?" Gram and Rye look at their baby brother and nod, smiling. The servants leave along with the two older princes. I am fighting with myself. I feel almost like a small child, trying to hate the person in front of them, but just can't bring myself to do it. I feel tears leaking out of my eyes, rolling down my face. He shakes his head at me. "Katniss." Almost as if he is scolding me as well. He puts his arms out and I go rushing into them.  
"You idiot." I cry, kissing him. I could have lost him.  
"Ah, but I am your idiot, from until the end of time." I laugh a wet laugh at his horrible joke. I curl into him, on top of all of his papers. I don't care. I wrap my arms around his shoulders. I have to touch him. I have to know he is real. "So Katniss Everdeen. Will you marry me?"

Epilogue

When everything was said and done with the attack, we'd lost a lot of loved ones. Thresh had been killed by Clove for killing Cato. We found love letters between the two in Cato's belongings. They were both working for the southern rebels. Seneca Crane had been in the room with us as well, and had been killed. The Queen was killed as well. It seemed that most of Panem wasn't too upset about that one, ready to embrace the brothers who had been influenced by their sweet and kind father. It was discovered with some threats, that the southern rebels had been working for Snow all along. Snow was trying to over throw the Mellark family. Snow was put to death. No one mourned his loss. Rose Snow had been killed by the northern rebels. Plutarch and Paylor had personally launched an investigation against the wishes of Alma Coin. It was discovered that Coin had a plot similar to Snow's. Coin was also put to death. The northern rebels have rejoined Panem in hopes of making the country beautiful and peaceful once again.

Lavinia, Rue, and Cinna were killed as well. Those deaths hit me hard. Rue's was difficult since she was so close to my little sister's death. Cinna's death nearly broke me. He was my first friend here in the Capitol of Panem. He didn't want to change me, only bring me out of my cage to sing like the bird he believed I was. Every time I wear his pieces that he designed with such love and care, I remember that I must keep moving forward.

And no time to do that like the present.

Today I am to become the third queen. With the death of the queen, Gram, Rye, and Peeta all ascended the throne. The three continue to balance each other out with grace. Adele and Johanna became queens. Today I am marrying Peeta. It has been two months since the attack that took so many lives. There are still days where Peeta has to coax me out of the wardrobes of the palace. Gale ratted me out to him. And Gale! I moved his family into the home that Peeta had bought me. They never have to want again. Dr. Aurelius is working with my mother but she has pretty much checked out for good this time. Gale and Madge were married about a week after the attacks and Gale is now the head of our security in the palace. Madge is a top advisor to the Mellark council still, in tow with Leeland Odair, Finnick Odair, and Haymitch Abernathy. Lately, we've been seeing Haymitch and Effie Trinket together in the gardens. Annie is content to be living in the palace. Her and Finnick are such dear friends that they have been moved up into the royal family's quarters. We tried to get Gale and Madge up there as well, but they would not hear of it. They have a small house just outside of the walls near the home that Hazel is making. Buttercup and Lady made the journey to the Capitol as well. Posey takes such care of them I cannot ask for them back. That doesn't mean I don't go visit them on occasion when I feel like I need to talk to Prim. And yes, I'm well aware that I do look crazy, sitting in a field, talking to a goat.

The small gurgle of a baby in the wings indicates that Adele is coming to make sure the wedding is still on. I have had more nervous breakdowns then I care to admit. I can't believe I am gaining a country. Why would anyone want to listen to me? Adele is carrying newborn Daphne. She is a pretty baby. I nod at Adele, who goes to take her place. Johanna isn't participating in my wedding. She's been having horrible back pain. Probably because she was thinner. We are all guessing she is carrying a boy. Bannock is holding my hand. He is still just as taken with me. When the doors open and I am finally allowed to being my walk towards Peeta, I can't wait to get him alone. I can't wait to give him the news that I know will make him the happiest man alive. But for now, I'll enjoy my walk down the aisle, Bannock clutching my hand, Annie in front of me, and Peeta looking at me like I am the light of his world. 

AN: Thank you for reading! And for any support!

That being said, I know that Katniss seems very out of character but I do need to state that love really does change you. I'm an exact case in point of that thanks to my better half. I'd also like to apologize for doing this as one big post. My new laptop hates the internet and actually crashes itself on it. Not necessarily a huge deal with me since I do everything on my phone but I had to transfer everything to my USB and then snag my husband's laptop. I just figured instead of saving it on his computer it'd be easier to do this as one post. He also completely lacks Office. I hope you enjoyed this. I'd been seeing everyone and their brother doing selection based hunger game stories which made me actually read the series and I was like wow, it could really be Peeta and Katniss. Once again, thanks for the support!(If there were any readers. I just had to get this out of my head, down and wanted to publish it for giggles).


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